Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day

Alone On Thanksgiving

Well, I volunteered to work today, I will be working 9 hours. I volunteered to work because I am alone today so I figured I would work so everyone else can spend time with their families. I may as well be at work since I am the only one not really celebrating Thanksgiving. I'm the only one that's going to be alone for Thanksgiving so I just kinda said the hell with Thanksgiving since everyone bailed on me for Thanksgiving. I may as well be at work making money plus 9 hours is like overtime for me since I don't get that many hours at work any way. Plus I was told anyone who works Thanksgiving gets a bonus so hell yeah man. 

I woke up early even though I planned on sleeping in, the fur babies weren't having that lol. So I got up took my medicine and made coffee and then exercises for 21 minutes. Now I am just sitting here trying not to think about how the love of my life is not spending Thanksgiving with me but she is spending Thanksgiving with the biatch. Grrr. Oh well, her and I have other holidays we can spend together. Even though Christmas this year probably won't be one of them. Oh well

My Vows To Vickie

Vickie,

I take you to be my BEST FRIEND
My faithful partner,
and my one TRUE LOVE
I promise to ENCOURAGE YOU
and inspire you and to
LOVE YOU truly through
good times and bad
I will FOREVER be there
to LAUGH with you, to lift
you up when you are down
and to love you unconditionally
through all of our
adventures in life together
I CHOOSE YOU
to be no other than yourself
Loving what I know of you,
and trusting who you will become
I will respect and honor you
ALways and in all ways
With you I pledge to repair
one small piece of the world
I take you to be my wife
To have and to hold
In tears and in laughter
In sickness and in health
To love and cherish
From this day forward
In this world and the next

I love my baby

I love my baby so much. She means the world to me. I don't know what I would do without her, well, yeah I do. I know now what its like to be without her and boy it sucks so bad.

My Heart Breaks For Her

You are the one who has my heart and you always will, that will never change. I will never be with anyone else, because I don't want anyone else but YOU. You will ALWAYS have my heart. And I will NEVER love anyone like I love you. I am sorry for treating you the way I did. I have changed and if you came back to me you would see that. I've never loved anyone like I love you. You treated me like no one has & I will never forget that. Karma is fucking me right now and not in a good way either. But that is okay because I deserve it all. Karma has caught up to me and I just have to deal with it. You do what's best for you. Do what makes you happy. I haven't let go and I won't. I'll just live my life and try to make myself happy. Because I don't want anyone else but YOU. And I will push ANYONE and EVERYONE away that tries to get close to me. I can't let go of you and I won't ever let go of you. The only person that I wanted to celebrate the holidays with was YOU. I will never give up on you. But know this, I will NOT get in a relationship with anyone EVER. I will push anyone away that tries to get close to me. Because YOU are the ONLY one I want & that will NEVER change. YOU are the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. The ONLY one I want to make my wife. If I find out that you do get engaged to her I will just have to let go of you cos than I will know that you will never be mine again.

Random Shit

Sooooooo, this morning I woke up and was freaking tired OMG! I felt like I woke up with a hangover or something of course that wasn't possible since I didn't drink last night BUT I did go to bed later than I normally would. I normally wake up at 5am but I didn't this morning. I ended up waking up at 7 am something. Anyways I was good after I had my 1st cup of coffee and my pill kicked in. My day started off good because I got on Facebook and had comments and likes from the one I love, the one who has my heart. Yep, that made my day for sure.

Anyways, I started paperwork for Friday and had that finished and than I got a call from Billie who needed me to come over to her store and run it so I had to go over there and run the store while she had to run an errand. When she came back I went back over to my store to finish paperwork but than my boss needed me to run an errand for him so I went and did that and than I came back and was finally able to finish Saturday and Sunday's paperwork. I ended up staying until 2pm to finish up what I needed to get done.

I am the ONE that loves you

#ImThatGirlfriend that hates every girl that has been involved with you in any way, and that loved you before me because I do it better.

I can't wait to be married to you and to come home after a long day and curl up next to my favorite person in the whole world, which is you and fall asleep in each other's arms

The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your flaws, mistakes and weaknesses and still thinks you're completely amazing.

Vickie On My Mind

Vickie has been and is on my mind a lot today. Last night I had several dreams and she was in every dream I had. I slept good because I had dreams of her BUT, it would have been better if she was laying there next to me in my arms. 

I can't stop thinking about her and I hope one day she comes back to me. I miss her so damn much it hurts. I am giving her time which is what she asked for. But it is SOOOO hard to be without her. 

I just want my life back, my life with her back. I want her back in my arms and in my life. 

To My Love

It doesn't matter that I'm not with you, well it does matter to me but my point is, YOU have my heart & you always WILL and that means I do NOT want anyone else, ONLY YOU! That means that while I'm waiting for you to come back to me, I will be faithful to you still. I will NOT flirt with or try to get with other girls. YOU are the one I want! YOU are the one I want to spend my life with. YOU ARE MY SOULMATE! YOU are my everything, my reason for existence, my reason I keep going on with life. I want my life back with YOU, I was so happy then. Now all I have left is memories of us & the great times we shared together. God made our paths cross for a reason. We ARE meant to be together & I don't care what anyone thinks about that. You are my ONE TRUE LOVE! Our story is NOT over yet. I wait for you now, and I always will.

Pondering Thoughts

It sucks when you love someone yet you can't be with them. And as you sit here and wait for them to come back to you, you feel like your love is growing distant & falling apart. It's sad, it breaks my heart. You would think the distance & time apart would make your love grow stronger & deeper. Yet that's not how I feel unfortunately at the moment. 

I feel like we are becoming more distant from each other. She is short with me in her responses when we talk. Maybe this is just me overthinking which I tend to do a lot. That is one of my flaws & I cannot help it BUT as of this very moment I am not going to put that to a stop. I will NOT overthink anymore. It steals my joy and happiness and makes me stress and worry and I refuse to let it anymore. So I am just going to go with the flow of things and let it be. What happens happens, whatever reason it may be and hey that's life. You just got to roll with the punches ya know. 

Saying sorry isn't easy

Sometimes in life we unfortunately are not given a second chance to fix our past mistakes. All we can do is tell the ones whose heart we have broken that we are sorry and that we apologize for the way we hurt them & for the way things turned out. However, sometimes in life we fortunately ARE given a second chance to fix the mistakes we made in the past & to mend the broken hearts of those who we have hurt. And if you ARE luckily given a second chance, give it your all & don't give up. Love her truly & with all your heart & never stop loving her or showing her how much she means to you & how much you love her. When you REALLY love someone you NEVER give up on them, NEVER. Let the person know you are truly sorry for hurting them, and that you apologize for breaking their heart. Sometimes you're only given one shot so make it count!

Sunday Blog Entry

S - o I have been researching stuff today. I've been learning a lot. I found out what the meaning of a Revival is. I know I am going to a Church Revival this coming week but I never knew what one was. So this is what it says. 

Pretty interesting, to me anyways. I like to learn new things & I love using GOOGLE to search stuff. 

A - lso have been doing laundry today & straightening up the house. Another day of writing too. 

T - hought the bedroom light had gone out completely but apparently it just needed a new lightbulb lol. So I changed the lightbulb and boom it works again.

U - nderstanding people and where they are coming from is sometimes hard. I guess I have to put myself in their shoes & try to understand things from their perspective, which is sometimes hard for me. You know, thinking outside the box. 

R - eally annoyed today & somewhat confused. I was told I would be managing the SHELL and the EXXON by the owner. Than I hear from someone that I will not be managing the SHELL, that I will be managing the EXXON. So I call the owner & he doesn't answer but he texts me & says his business partner will call me soon. I'm so confused. So which is it & do I actually have a job? Grrrrr. I hate people playing games with me.

D - ecided to hang up the extra Christmas lights I bought in my office. I hung up one box. I still need to hang up the other set of lights. 

A - mazed at some people. I swear, why tell me one thing & then turn around and tell the other person a different thing. Has me really confused right now. I've been. Confused all day. Hopefully this will all be straightened out this evening or tomorrow. 

Y - ou know, I decided i was going to start living life one day at a time from now on. BUT, yesterday & today I spent the majority of my time writing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to write but as of right now, that won't pay the bills. Maybe I can get a writing gig somewhere. OMG! I just had an awesome idea. I should try to get my job back at Magazine 33. I'm going to email them right now. 

Sunday Blog Entry

S - o I have been researching stuff today. I've been learning a lot. I found out what the meaning of a Revival is. I know I am going to a Church Revival this coming week but I never knew what one was. So this is what it says. 

Pretty interesting, to me anyways. I like to learn new things & I love using GOOGLE to search stuff. 

A - lso have been doing laundry today & straightening up the house. Another day of writing too. 

T - hought the bedroom light had gone out completely but apparently it just needed a new lightbulb lol. So I changed the lightbulb and boom it works again.

U - nderstanding people and where they are coming from is sometimes hard. I guess I have to put myself in their shoes & try to understand things from their perspective, which is sometimes hard for me. You know, thinking outside the box. 

R - eally annoyed today & somewhat confused. I was told I would be managing the SHELL and the EXXON by the owner. Than I hear from someone that I will not be managing the SHELL, that I will be managing the EXXON. So I call the owner & he doesn't answer but he texts me & says his business partner will call me soon. I'm so confused. So which is it & do I actually have a job? Grrrrr. I hate people playing games with me.

D - ecided to hang up the extra Christmas lights I bought in my office. I hung up one box. I still need to hang up the other set of lights. 

A - mazed at some people. I swear, why tell me one thing & then turn around and tell the other person a different thing. Has me really confused right now. I've been. Confused all day. Hopefully this will all be straightened out this evening or tomorrow. 

Y - ou know, I decided i was going to start living life one day at a time from now on. BUT, yesterday & today I spent the majority of my time writing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to write but as of right now, that won't pay the bills. Maybe I can get a writing gig somewhere. OMG! I just had an awesome idea. I should try to get my job back at Magazine 33. I'm going to email them right now. 

A Great Day

It's been a great day so far. Life has been great since I decided yesterday to change my perspective on life & decided to change who I am as a person. I am in love with life. Life is so great.

I'm so excited that I will for the first time be going to a Revival. I love God, God is great. And I don't care what anyone thinks about that.

So today I have been doing research on different things. Interesting information that I am finding. I love to learn new things. One must not EVER stop learning. And we'll, I won't ever stop trying to learn new things. And also just an FYI, I am REALLY good at doing research and finding things out. 

Saturday Blog Entry

S - o Karen came over & we got dressed up in our costumes. She was a zombie but she looked like one of the guys from KISS lol. I dressed as Spiderman. 

A - mazed at how God works in wonderful ways. God answered one of my prayers. I got a job. Thank you oh so much my wonderful God. 

T - hought about a lot today & where my life is going. I woke up with a clear head & decided that today was the day that my life was going to change. So that's what it did, I woke up a different person than I was the day before. I did a lot of writing today too. I wrote several entries in my Blog WTFBEAN. You can read my blog at http://wtfbean.blogspot.com

U - nderstanding of other people is something I try to do even though sometimes I don't understand why people do what they do but I have decided to be more understanding of people. If that made any sense at all. I have become a more understanding person. Even though I don't like some of the choices people are making in their life & I don't understand why they are making those choices hey, it's their life to live, not mine & they have to live with the consequences of the choices they make for their life. I wish things could be different but for now they aren't changing to benefit me but really to benefit the other person. But, I am staying hopeful that things change & work out for my benefit. Hope is all I have left. I am clinging to hope. I will remain hopeful.

R - eally should have bought more candy for Halloween but at the same time, really glad I didn't because I didn't have many trick or treaters come to my house. The neighbor said he's lived here for years & we don't get many trick or treaters. They must have just come back from trunk or treating yesterday cos they stopped by to get candy lol. Glad they did cos I don't eat candy. Haha.

D - ecided when I woke up this morning that I would wake up with a clear head & change the direction my life is going. So that's what I did. I spent the majority of the day thinking & writing in my blog.

A - wesome God we have. God didn't give up on me so I'm not giving up on him. I decided that I am going to the revival at my friend Jay's dad's church, Massie Memorial Church in Waynesboro. If there is ever a time I need God, now is the time. When we are at our lowest point in life, this is the time to seek God, the time to turn to him & that's what I am doing. 

Y - ou never know what life will bring. I always used to live for the future but I decided today that I won't do that anymore. I decided that I am going to live life one day at a time. We never know when our last day on earth will be so I say live life to the fullest & enjoy every moment because you don't know when its your last. And so, I am going to live for today. However I am the type of person that when I make plans I stick to them most of the time unless something comes up that is unforeseen. So live for today people, life is precious & life is beautiful. Life is what you make it, whether you decide to live an unhappy miserable life or you decide to live life to the fullest & accept all it has to offer & decide to be happy. I decide to live life to the fullest, embrace life & be happy even if I come across bumps in the road, i am determined to make the rest of my life the best of my life. 

Rise and Grind

#riseandgrind #hustlehard

Good Morning beautiful people. I hope everyone has a great day filled with love, laughter & happiness.

So Halloween was okay. Karen and I got a few trick or treaters. The next door neighbor's kids came over for candy & my friend Carolyn brought her kids over for candy. I gave Carolyn's kids the rest of the candy I had. 

So, while Karen & I were waiting for trick or treaters we were talking & Karen mentioned one of my friends posts then all of the sudden my phone rang, which was related in a way to that post. I answered it & it was another friend of mine. Him & I talked & well, BAM, i got off the phone & out the door I went in my Spiderman costume & all lol. Speeding down the road in a hurry. For now, I'll leave it at that. I won't give the rest of the details on that. At a later time I will. 

Let's just say, I got a job & I am happy about that. I am so relieved I got a job because I was starting to worry about how I would pay my bills BUT, God came through for me & was looking out for me. God is great, God is good. Thank you God for answering my prayers. 

I'm going to start going to church next Sunday. I'm going to a revival Nov 2-4 in Waynesboro at Jay's dads church, Massie Memorial Church. I.'be never been to a revival before but I'm kind of excited about it. I would go today but I am expecting a very important call today to find out when I start my job, which could be today but I'm not sure. Fingers crossed that I start soon.