Sociable by nature with an eye for the eclectic. I enjoy being around others and am especially attracted to the creative world. Others are drawn to me and admire me. I thrive out in the world and appreciate being surrounded by other people. The only exception to this is when I'm working in the creative realm, finding myself completely engrossed in a project for hours at a time. I am competitive, driven by a desire to outdo others. I am a Leader, I function best when leading others.
Well, I volunteered to work today, I will be working 9 hours. I volunteered to work because I am alone today so I figured I would work so everyone else can spend time with their families. I may as well be at work since I am the only one not really celebrating Thanksgiving. I'm the only one that's going to be alone for Thanksgiving so I just kinda said the hell with Thanksgiving since everyone bailed on me for Thanksgiving. I may as well be at work making money plus 9 hours is like overtime for me since I don't get that many hours at work any way. Plus I was told anyone who works Thanksgiving gets a bonus so hell yeah man.
I woke up early even though I planned on sleeping in, the fur babies weren't having that lol. So I got up took my medicine and made coffee and then exercises for 21 minutes. Now I am just sitting here trying not to think about how the love of my life is not spending Thanksgiving with me but she is spending Thanksgiving with the biatch. Grrr. Oh well, her and I have other holidays we can spend together. Even though Christmas this year probably won't be one of them. Oh well
I take you to be my BEST FRIEND
My faithful partner,
and my one TRUE LOVE
I promise to ENCOURAGE YOU
and inspire you and to
LOVE YOU truly through
good times and bad
I will FOREVER be there
to LAUGH with you, to lift
you up when you are down
and to love you unconditionally
through all of our
adventures in life together
I CHOOSE YOU
to be no other than yourself
Loving what I know of you,
and trusting who you will become
I will respect and honor you
ALways and in all ways
With you I pledge to repair
one small piece of the world
I take you to be my wife
To have and to hold
In tears and in laughter
In sickness and in health
To love and cherish
From this day forward
In this world and the next
I love my baby so much. She means the world to me. I don't know what I would do without her, well, yeah I do. I know now what its like to be without her and boy it sucks so bad.
You are the one who has my heart and you always will, that will never change. I will never be with anyone else, because I don't want anyone else but YOU. You will ALWAYS have my heart. And I will NEVER love anyone like I love you. I am sorry for treating you the way I did. I have changed and if you came back to me you would see that. I've never loved anyone like I love you. You treated me like no one has & I will never forget that. Karma is fucking me right now and not in a good way either. But that is okay because I deserve it all. Karma has caught up to me and I just have to deal with it. You do what's best for you. Do what makes you happy. I haven't let go and I won't. I'll just live my life and try to make myself happy. Because I don't want anyone else but YOU. And I will push ANYONE and EVERYONE away that tries to get close to me. I can't let go of you and I won't ever let go of you. The only person that I wanted to celebrate the holidays with was YOU. I will never give up on you. But know this, I will NOT get in a relationship with anyone EVER. I will push anyone away that tries to get close to me. Because YOU are the ONLY one I want & that will NEVER change. YOU are the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with. The ONLY one I want to make my wife. If I find out that you do get engaged to her I will just have to let go of you cos than I will know that you will never be mine again.
Sooooooo, this morning I woke up and was freaking tired OMG! I felt like I woke up with a hangover or something of course that wasn't possible since I didn't drink last night BUT I did go to bed later than I normally would. I normally wake up at 5am but I didn't this morning. I ended up waking up at 7 am something. Anyways I was good after I had my 1st cup of coffee and my pill kicked in. My day started off good because I got on Facebook and had comments and likes from the one I love, the one who has my heart. Yep, that made my day for sure.
Anyways, I started paperwork for Friday and had that finished and than I got a call from Billie who needed me to come over to her store and run it so I had to go over there and run the store while she had to run an errand. When she came back I went back over to my store to finish paperwork but than my boss needed me to run an errand for him so I went and did that and than I came back and was finally able to finish Saturday and Sunday's paperwork. I ended up staying until 2pm to finish up what I needed to get done.
#ImThatGirlfriend that hates every girl that has been involved with you in any way, and that loved you before me because I do it better.
I can't wait to be married to you and to come home after a long day and curl up next to my favorite person in the whole world, which is you and fall asleep in each other's arms
The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your flaws, mistakes and weaknesses and still thinks you're completely amazing.
Vickie has been and is on my mind a lot today. Last night I had several dreams and she was in every dream I had. I slept good because I had dreams of her BUT, it would have been better if she was laying there next to me in my arms.
I can't stop thinking about her and I hope one day she comes back to me. I miss her so damn much it hurts. I am giving her time which is what she asked for. But it is SOOOO hard to be without her.
I just want my life back, my life with her back. I want her back in my arms and in my life.
It doesn't matter that I'm not with you, well it does matter to me but my point is, YOU have my heart & you always WILL and that means I do NOT want anyone else, ONLY YOU! That means that while I'm waiting for you to come back to me, I will be faithful to you still. I will NOT flirt with or try to get with other girls. YOU are the one I want! YOU are the one I want to spend my life with. YOU ARE MY SOULMATE! YOU are my everything, my reason for existence, my reason I keep going on with life. I want my life back with YOU, I was so happy then. Now all I have left is memories of us & the great times we shared together. God made our paths cross for a reason. We ARE meant to be together & I don't care what anyone thinks about that. You are my ONE TRUE LOVE! Our story is NOT over yet. I wait for you now, and I always will.
It sucks when you love someone yet you can't be with them. And as you sit here and wait for them to come back to you, you feel like your love is growing distant & falling apart. It's sad, it breaks my heart. You would think the distance & time apart would make your love grow stronger & deeper. Yet that's not how I feel unfortunately at the moment.
I feel like we are becoming more distant from each other. She is short with me in her responses when we talk. Maybe this is just me overthinking which I tend to do a lot. That is one of my flaws & I cannot help it BUT as of this very moment I am not going to put that to a stop. I will NOT overthink anymore. It steals my joy and happiness and makes me stress and worry and I refuse to let it anymore. So I am just going to go with the flow of things and let it be. What happens happens, whatever reason it may be and hey that's life. You just got to roll with the punches ya know.
Sometimes in life we unfortunately are not given a second chance to fix our past mistakes. All we can do is tell the ones whose heart we have broken that we are sorry and that we apologize for the way we hurt them & for the way things turned out. However, sometimes in life we fortunately ARE given a second chance to fix the mistakes we made in the past & to mend the broken hearts of those who we have hurt. And if you ARE luckily given a second chance, give it your all & don't give up. Love her truly & with all your heart & never stop loving her or showing her how much she means to you & how much you love her. When you REALLY love someone you NEVER give up on them, NEVER. Let the person know you are truly sorry for hurting them, and that you apologize for breaking their heart. Sometimes you're only given one shot so make it count!
S - o I have been researching stuff today. I've been learning a lot. I found out what the meaning of a Revival is. I know I am going to a Church Revival this coming week but I never knew what one was. So this is what it says.
Pretty interesting, to me anyways. I like to learn new things & I love using GOOGLE to search stuff.
A - lso have been doing laundry today & straightening up the house. Another day of writing too.
T - hought the bedroom light had gone out completely but apparently it just needed a new lightbulb lol. So I changed the lightbulb and boom it works again.
U - nderstanding people and where they are coming from is sometimes hard. I guess I have to put myself in their shoes & try to understand things from their perspective, which is sometimes hard for me. You know, thinking outside the box.
R - eally annoyed today & somewhat confused. I was told I would be managing the SHELL and the EXXON by the owner. Than I hear from someone that I will not be managing the SHELL, that I will be managing the EXXON. So I call the owner & he doesn't answer but he texts me & says his business partner will call me soon. I'm so confused. So which is it & do I actually have a job? Grrrrr. I hate people playing games with me.
D - ecided to hang up the extra Christmas lights I bought in my office. I hung up one box. I still need to hang up the other set of lights.
A - mazed at some people. I swear, why tell me one thing & then turn around and tell the other person a different thing. Has me really confused right now. I've been. Confused all day. Hopefully this will all be straightened out this evening or tomorrow.
Y - ou know, I decided i was going to start living life one day at a time from now on. BUT, yesterday & today I spent the majority of my time writing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to write but as of right now, that won't pay the bills. Maybe I can get a writing gig somewhere. OMG! I just had an awesome idea. I should try to get my job back at Magazine 33. I'm going to email them right now.
S - o I have been researching stuff today. I've been learning a lot. I found out what the meaning of a Revival is. I know I am going to a Church Revival this coming week but I never knew what one was. So this is what it says.
Pretty interesting, to me anyways. I like to learn new things & I love using GOOGLE to search stuff.
A - lso have been doing laundry today & straightening up the house. Another day of writing too.
T - hought the bedroom light had gone out completely but apparently it just needed a new lightbulb lol. So I changed the lightbulb and boom it works again.
U - nderstanding people and where they are coming from is sometimes hard. I guess I have to put myself in their shoes & try to understand things from their perspective, which is sometimes hard for me. You know, thinking outside the box.
R - eally annoyed today & somewhat confused. I was told I would be managing the SHELL and the EXXON by the owner. Than I hear from someone that I will not be managing the SHELL, that I will be managing the EXXON. So I call the owner & he doesn't answer but he texts me & says his business partner will call me soon. I'm so confused. So which is it & do I actually have a job? Grrrrr. I hate people playing games with me.
D - ecided to hang up the extra Christmas lights I bought in my office. I hung up one box. I still need to hang up the other set of lights.
A - mazed at some people. I swear, why tell me one thing & then turn around and tell the other person a different thing. Has me really confused right now. I've been. Confused all day. Hopefully this will all be straightened out this evening or tomorrow.
Y - ou know, I decided i was going to start living life one day at a time from now on. BUT, yesterday & today I spent the majority of my time writing. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to write but as of right now, that won't pay the bills. Maybe I can get a writing gig somewhere. OMG! I just had an awesome idea. I should try to get my job back at Magazine 33. I'm going to email them right now.
It's been a great day so far. Life has been great since I decided yesterday to change my perspective on life & decided to change who I am as a person. I am in love with life. Life is so great.
I'm so excited that I will for the first time be going to a Revival. I love God, God is great. And I don't care what anyone thinks about that.
So today I have been doing research on different things. Interesting information that I am finding. I love to learn new things. One must not EVER stop learning. And we'll, I won't ever stop trying to learn new things. And also just an FYI, I am REALLY good at doing research and finding things out.
S - o Karen came over & we got dressed up in our costumes. She was a zombie but she looked like one of the guys from KISS lol. I dressed as Spiderman.
A - mazed at how God works in wonderful ways. God answered one of my prayers. I got a job. Thank you oh so much my wonderful God.
T - hought about a lot today & where my life is going. I woke up with a clear head & decided that today was the day that my life was going to change. So that's what it did, I woke up a different person than I was the day before. I did a lot of writing today too. I wrote several entries in my Blog WTFBEAN. You can read my blog at http://wtfbean.blogspot.com
U - nderstanding of other people is something I try to do even though sometimes I don't understand why people do what they do but I have decided to be more understanding of people. If that made any sense at all. I have become a more understanding person. Even though I don't like some of the choices people are making in their life & I don't understand why they are making those choices hey, it's their life to live, not mine & they have to live with the consequences of the choices they make for their life. I wish things could be different but for now they aren't changing to benefit me but really to benefit the other person. But, I am staying hopeful that things change & work out for my benefit. Hope is all I have left. I am clinging to hope. I will remain hopeful.
R - eally should have bought more candy for Halloween but at the same time, really glad I didn't because I didn't have many trick or treaters come to my house. The neighbor said he's lived here for years & we don't get many trick or treaters. They must have just come back from trunk or treating yesterday cos they stopped by to get candy lol. Glad they did cos I don't eat candy. Haha.
D - ecided when I woke up this morning that I would wake up with a clear head & change the direction my life is going. So that's what I did. I spent the majority of the day thinking & writing in my blog.
A - wesome God we have. God didn't give up on me so I'm not giving up on him. I decided that I am going to the revival at my friend Jay's dad's church, Massie Memorial Church in Waynesboro. If there is ever a time I need God, now is the time. When we are at our lowest point in life, this is the time to seek God, the time to turn to him & that's what I am doing.
Y - ou never know what life will bring. I always used to live for the future but I decided today that I won't do that anymore. I decided that I am going to live life one day at a time. We never know when our last day on earth will be so I say live life to the fullest & enjoy every moment because you don't know when its your last. And so, I am going to live for today. However I am the type of person that when I make plans I stick to them most of the time unless something comes up that is unforeseen. So live for today people, life is precious & life is beautiful. Life is what you make it, whether you decide to live an unhappy miserable life or you decide to live life to the fullest & accept all it has to offer & decide to be happy. I decide to live life to the fullest, embrace life & be happy even if I come across bumps in the road, i am determined to make the rest of my life the best of my life.
Good Morning beautiful people. I hope everyone has a great day filled with love, laughter & happiness.
So Halloween was okay. Karen and I got a few trick or treaters. The next door neighbor's kids came over for candy & my friend Carolyn brought her kids over for candy. I gave Carolyn's kids the rest of the candy I had.
So, while Karen & I were waiting for trick or treaters we were talking & Karen mentioned one of my friends posts then all of the sudden my phone rang, which was related in a way to that post. I answered it & it was another friend of mine. Him & I talked & well, BAM, i got off the phone & out the door I went in my Spiderman costume & all lol. Speeding down the road in a hurry. For now, I'll leave it at that. I won't give the rest of the details on that. At a later time I will.
Let's just say, I got a job & I am happy about that. I am so relieved I got a job because I was starting to worry about how I would pay my bills BUT, God came through for me & was looking out for me. God is great, God is good. Thank you God for answering my prayers.
I'm going to start going to church next Sunday. I'm going to a revival Nov 2-4 in Waynesboro at Jay's dads church, Massie Memorial Church. I.'be never been to a revival before but I'm kind of excited about it. I would go today but I am expecting a very important call today to find out when I start my job, which could be today but I'm not sure. Fingers crossed that I start soon.
I realized going completely mad isn't the way to handle things. I went that route yesterday & well I didn't like who I was & how I handle things. I handled things the wrong way. And I scared the ones I love. Not cool but, I wasn't thinking clearly.
Anyways, I realized that it's better to just calm down, breathe & relax. So that's why I woke up this morning with a clear head & changed my perspective on everything.
Life is what you make it & I am going to make my life great. In fact, I just talked to a friend of mine who said she could get me a job starting at $9/hr which isn't bad. I'm excited, cos I really need a job. And even though my bills haven't gotten behind yet without a job they will. Plus, having a job will get me out of the house & I won't feel like I'm having cabin fever.
Sometimes thinking isn't such a bad thing. Just to sit there & reflect on your life by yourself with your thoughts. It's okay, sometimes you just need to be alone & shut the world out.
I've been doing a LOT of thinking lately. This past week hasn't been such a good week for me, however because I tend to overthink things & that's always a bad thing. However, I woke up this morning & decided since it is a new day that I would change my outlook on life & change my mindset. I decided that I would apologize to those who I've hurt.
I've been pretty quiet on Facebook today & anyone who knows me well knows that's not me. I am always blowing everyone's newsfeed up. I have been in a writing mood today so I've been writing a lot today & also the reason for the absence on Facebook is because I realized not EVERYTHING needs to go on Facebook & I don't always have to be on there. Also, there are some things that I actually DO keep to myself. That is because I'm just not ready to tell anyone those things. So yeah, decided I would take a little break from Facebook.
So I've been doing a lot of thinking today which is not a bad thing. I woke up with a different perspective on life & a clear mind. I'm a changed person, I'm making a brand new start in life. Mind you, I'm not giving up hope for my future because I know my life is in God's hands & he will lead me down the right path that I am meant to follow.
I came to the realization last night after I had a Bipolar Episode & carved Vickie's name into my arm with a knife that I needed to change & like right now. I was going back to the person I used to be & that person was unhappy all the time. Not someone I exactly wanted to be or liked. I don't want that for my life, not at all. I want to be happy, I CHOOSE to be happy.
I was going to sleep in this morning but of course, my biological alarm clock woke me up at 4am so I got up out of bed & made coffee & started thinking which led me to start writing & that's what I've been doing ever since.
I decided this morning to change who I am, to change for the better. I decided that since today is a new day & I have a chance to make a fresh start that's what I was going to do. And so far, it's been a pretty good day. Sometimes, like today, I just need to be alone to gather my thoughts & im glad I did, for my sake.
Today is Halloween & my best friend Karen is coming over after work & we're going to get dressed up & hand out candy that I bought. I haven't celebrated Halloween in many years so this will be quite a change, a good day it will be. And so I hope anyone who is reading this, I hope y'all have a wonderful day & a great Halloween & be safe & have fun.
You are my present and my future. Nobody else even comes close. Without you in my life, I would rather die. I would never give up on you or us.
Because I love you too much. The day we met was the day my whole life changed forever. It was so unexpected but so fateful.
I'd be crazy to just throw it all away! I like who I get to be while I'm with you. A guy completely in love who doesn't care about anything or anyone else.
You complete me! The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever.
Where I do I begin. I guess from the start. I know it doesn't seem that way but I never meant to hurt you never meant for things to go the way they did. I only wanted someone who understood the lack of... Everything... Inside me.
Someone who was broken someone I could relate to.
You wore me down and broke me down and made me weak for you. That's not a complaint. I never meant to fall for you. It was so long since I felt that feeling, the connection. It was amazing.
You know, you're the only person who consumed me like that. It was like being a real person and having a reason to be happy. Not just a responsibility or an appearance to seem normal. It was the truest thing I've ever felt.
I can't change what I did, and I can't fix what's broken. I'd like to say I'd go back and change it all. I'd go back and make sure it never happened. Make sure you never experienced the destruction that I caused and the heart ache.
You're too perfect to have ever been put through any of that. I know the last thing I said to you wasn't what either of us wanted.
All I can say is that when this life is all said and done, as I'm laying on my death bed pondering my final thoughts, they'll be why did I ever let the purest, most perfect thing in my life get away.
Just please know you made me happy and thoughts and memories of our time will haunt me, as I'll never have them again. I'll never feel accepted, understood, unconditionally loved, wanted, and needed .
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm the creature that I am. I'm sorry for everything that happened between us, with us. We'll always have cannonballs and fireflies.
I'm starting a new chapter in my life today. I woke up this morning with a clear head & it's a new day which means a fresh start.
I decided starting today I would apologize to those I've hurt in my past. So if you are one of those people, I'm sorry for hurting you & if I could take it back I would. I didn't intentionally hurt you. I am not one to intentionally hurt people, that's not who I am but we all do things that we regret later in life.
Everyday you can start over. Each day is a new day to make a fresh start. Life is what you make it, you see if you choose to be miserable, you'll live a miserable life. But if you choose to be happy, you'll live a happy life.
What do you choose? I choose to be happy. Life is short & I don't want to spend the rest of my life being miserable. I want to live life to the fullest & love with all my heart & take on all life has to offer me.
I know I've made mistakes in my life that I regret to this day but, I don't want to continue making mistakes & having regrets. So starting today, I will live my life in a way that when I die I can actually say I had a good life. I don't want to look back on my life & say I should have done this or that.
So things are going to change starting today. I am a new person & my eyes have been opened to a whole new world. Life is good. I thank God everyday that I wake up alive. Others in this world have it much worse than I do, so I am grateful for all I have & all I've been given in this life.
As I start this new chapter in my life & begin walking down the path that God has chosen for me I will trust in the Lord & have faith in him. I will trust in him to lead me in the direction that I'm supposed to go. God has a plan for my life & I just have to trust in him.
You know, I always wonder what life has in store for me. I have decided to let God take control & lead me in the right direction. God knows what's best for me. And I trust in him.
In the past couple weeks I have been doing a lot of soul searching, some heavy thinking. I've been thinking about my life & how I've lived it so far. I have made a lot of mistakes & have a lot of regrets but I have decided to start living life with no regrets.
Life is short but sweet & I intend to make the rest of my life the best of my life. You can't live your life holding onto the past. What is done is done & you must move forward with your life. You have to pick yourself up and the pieces of your broken heart & move forward. It's hard to move on from the one you love but you have to sometimes in life because they have already moved on without you.
I am about to embark on a new journey, a scary one in fact. Life is scary anyway. I know God has my back & is watching over me. From this point on, I'm letting Jesus take the wheel. I have a different perspective on life now. I have in the past couple weeks come to realize that life is short & I must live it to the fullest & live it with no regrets.
Sometimes in life we must move on even as hard as that may seem. It's a struggle, a battle we fight within to move on & do what's best for us but it's what we must do.
We have to take care of ourselves & do what's best for us. Self love is what it's all about. If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else.
I decided I am going to let those who I have hurt know that I'm sorry for what I have done & I apologize. Hurting them was not my intention at all. I'm not one whose out to hurt others, that's not who I am. Whether they decide to forgive me or not is up to them. So for all those who I've hurt in the past, I'm sorry & I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Remember, live life with no regrets. Life is short, shorter than you may think. We don't know when our time on earth will end. Live life to the fullest, laugh a lot, share memories with those you love, hug your loved ones tight, always say sorry when you hurt someone & work hard on getting all you want out of life.
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I am looking for donations of several items. I do "Backpacks/Bags For The Homeless" & Winter is coming up & I am looking for help with donations for my cause. I pay for all the items myself most of the time. When I did this last year I had several donations of different items. Here is what I am looking for:
*Please donate clothing items to the WARM Shelter in Waynesboro. We don't accept clothing donations as they take up too much room in backpacks & we don't know everyone's sizes*
What is your WHY? When you know why you do what you do even the toughest days become easier! Why do I help the homeless? God showed me my need so I could be better aware of the needs of others. We are surrounded by family, friends & love and more than we need. The least we could do is sow that into someone who could use the reminder that God has not forgotten about them.
Items We Need:
•Toothbrushes & Toothpaste
•Combs & Brushes
•Body Wash & Soap
•School Supplies •Notebooks
•Bibles & Religious Material
•Pens •Lotions & Hand Sanitizer
•Lufas & Washcloths
•Bottled Waters & Flavor Packs
•Deodorant (Men & Women)
•Cologne & Perfume
•Tampons & Pads
•Coffee Cups (Like in Gas Stations)
•Shampoo & Conditioner
•Tooth Floss & Dental Picks
•Bandaids (First Aid Supplies)
•Religious Crosses
•Hats (Men & Women)
•Scarves •Gloves
•Add a personal note to show you care
•Wool Beanie Hat
•Instant Coffee •Stamps
•Pre-paid Phone Cards
•Multi-Purpose Wipes
•Chapstick •Sunblock
•Facial Wipes •Water Bottles
•Heat Pack •Multi-Purpose Tool
•Fruit Snacks •Mints •Gum
You can drop off items to me at my house or I can meet you somewhere to pick the items up. Any help is very much appreciated.
So last year I started doing "Backpacks For The Homeless". It went well, I handed out lots of backpacks to the homeless and had a lot of people donate items for the backpacks. However, this year not as much participation. I still plan on putting together backpacks because well, I like to help those in need and who are less fortunate than me.
I am looking for donations of items listed on my video. I mostly buy everything myself but it helps when I have donations also. If you would like to donate send me an email aidendbean@yahoo.com
So my best friend said it was time to hide " a friend's posts" from her newsfeed. I know she was talking about me. It's cos I post so much stuff. Oh well. I hope she deletes me. I'd be better off then I wouldn't have to see her crappy posts.
I was bullied in school so I am against bullying. Even if I wasn't bullied in school I think it is wrong. I want to help those who are being bullied and prevent these kids and adults from committing suicide. It only takes one person to make a difference and I intend to be that person that stands up for those who are being bullied and be their voice.
So I couldn't sleep and ended up waking up at 4am or before that. I got up to go to the bathroom and tried to go back to sleep but yeah that wasn't happening. So I got back out of bed and decided to just stay up. So I got up and made half a pot of coffee which I have yet to drink. I ended up going to the bank and getting money out so I could pay my tab at 7 Eleven. So I decided to get coffee at 7 Eleven while I paid my tab. Then I came home and well I was hungry so I went back out and got me and Cinder and Rocky breakfast. They had sausage biscuits and I had a Bacon, Egg and Cheese McGriddle. After I left Mcdonalds I decided to stop at Shell where I used to work and I ended up getting me some gas and a Energy Shot.
I apologized to her and told her I was sorry for the way things ended with us and that I missed her and wanted to be friends again if she can find it in her heart to forgive me. I believe in living life with no regrets and that was one thing I regretted. The fact that our friendship ended badly. So yeah, I apologized through text message. I stopped in her store to get a 5 Hour Energy shot and gas. She was civil to me. After I got home I decided to text her and apologize to her. She said she had to think about things. I hope she finds it in her heart to forgive me. Her friendship meant a lot to me and I should have not ended it the way I did. However, we all make mistakes and that is one mistake I regret but I wanted her to know how I felt. So I hope that situation turns out good and that we become friends again. She was there before some people, long before some people and was always there for me. I screwed that up pretty badly. I guess we shall see the outcome of that, I hope it is a good one.
So yeah after that I decided since I didn't exercise a second time last week I would start off today but exercising. I did over 1,000 steps for a little over 35 minutes. Check it out. I used the iPhone app Nexercise. I love that app. It rewards you points for exercising. At my new job if you exercise for 2 days a week for 3 months for 30 minutes you are rewarded a free vacation day. I'm like hey that sounds like a challenge to me with a great reward and I'm always down for a good challenge so heck yeah. I'm on it.
I will be getting new glasses yay I am excited. I am going to get the same pair I had before, the pair that Rocky chewed up. Yeah the ones he chewed up hence why I have another eye appointment. Because he chewed up my black framed glasses which I loved dearly. I should have kept them in a spot he couldn't get too. I am wearing my Gucci Glasses now, I have been since he chewed my favorite pair of glasses up. Dang dog I swear, gotta love him lol.
I am glad I have great friends surrounding me. Its nice to be able to have a conversation with someone and it not end up in an argument or making me mad. Nice to have intelligent conversations where my response isn't just yeah. Haha.
Yeah so I forgot to mention that I gave my life to God a couple months ago. No I wasn't baptised, I got baptised many years ago but I fell off the path over those years and have over the last couple months recently given my life to God and Jesus Christ. I have a lot of friends who are Atheist but that's okay. I DO believe in God and Jesus Christ our lord and savior. Just because some of my friends don't believe the same as I do that's okay I will still be friends with them and not judge them.
SO...YES, I AM a Jesus Freak.
As you can tell by my posts that I just made of songs in them. The songs I made posts of are Christian Artists that I like. TobyMac being my favorite of course. But the Newsboys are pretty good too. My favorite radio station is K Love. I love that station. I got it preset on my dial in my truck and I have it on my playlist on IheartRadio.
You may ask why I turned to God. Well, when your down and out and depressed it seems like the only answer is to turn to God in rough times and that is what I did. I accepted God and Jesus Christ into my life. So yes, I am a Christian. Mind you, I grew up in a Jehovah's Witness household when I was younger. But, that is not who I am, I mean I don't think, I don't know. I guess you could say I do still have a little bit of that faith in me. But I do believe in God and Jesus Christ. God answers my prayers and he is there for me when no one else is. I know I can turn to God in my darkest moments and when I have hit rock bottom. But its not even just that. I pray daily to God. I pray to him and ask for forgiveness and thank him for all he has done for me.
Okay I am sure this all may sound corny to some of you but its not to me. And NO, I am NOT a bible thumper. Just because I believe in God and Jesus Christ does NOT mean I am going to push off my beliefs on you. That is not who I am. If you want to learn more about God and Jesus Christ just ask me and I will share the word of God with you. But I am by no means a bible thumper, that is not who I am and I not who I plan on being. I love God and Jesus Christ who died for our sins.
FYI: I was ordained as a Minister in 2008. I have my certificate of ordination. That's a little known fact about me. Mind you however as I said before I went down the path of unrighteousness and down a dark road in life for many years. However, the light is shining again and I have been saved. I was addicted to drugs for many years. I am also a part of an online group called InTheRooms. It is a website for people who are recovering addicts and alcoholics. I have been a member of InTheRooms for years. It is a great community of people who are recovering from drug addiction and alcoholism and they don't judge you or discriminate against you.
Anyways, so yeah...I used to want to be a part of the crowd. I used to be a follower not a leader. I would follow the crowd. So I got to the point where I would try anything at least once. Not a very good idea or very brilliant at all. Not smart on my part but hey we all live and learn. However, sometimes we learn the hard way. I have known a lot of people that died from Heroin Overdose. That was my drug of choice, that and pain pills. But, like I said we all make mistakes. I have turned my life around now and am doing much better. I have been clean for 4 years and 8 months. Yay me.
Anyways so yeah back to what my post is actually about. I don't mind being labeled a Jesus Freak. I love Jesus and I love God. I read the bible every day even if its just for a couple minutes. I unfortunately don't go to church because I never have a day off on Sunday and I just started a new job. BUT, I do turn on the Bible Network and watch the sermons and listen to the word of God. My favorite is Joyce Myers Ministries. I absolutely love listening to her preach. She always has an amazing message.
So last year it was when I was saved and accepted God and his son Jesus Christ into my life. It was September 2014 that I decided my life needed to take a new direction. I am glad that I decided to accept them into my life and change my life around. Life has been good ever since. However, I have had some ups and downs but with God all things are possible. But, let's get to the point of this paragraph and that being the "Backpacks For The Homeless" that I started doing. A former friend of mine started doing Backpacks For The Homeless so I started doing it with her however, I said former friend so her and I no longer speak but I continued to do the Backpacks For The Homeless because I believe someone needs to be the voice for the homeless and those less fortunate. I have a kind heart, there is no denying that. I am an Aries if that tells you anything. They say people who are Aries are selfish but that is not true about me, I mean maybe it is a little bit. I like to get my way and get what I want but I also like to give to others. I just like to see people happy. Okay back on topic as I wandered off topic.
The "Backpacks For The Homeless" thing I have been doing has been great. It has succeeded I must say. See I don't know how others who do this kind of thing do it but the way I do my "Backpacks For The Homeless" is I get donations and I also buy stuff with my own money as well. I buy the essentials plus some other stuff like toothbrushes and toothpaste and deodorant and soap and body wash, you get the idea. I will post an image if I have one of the items that I collect. You know homeless people are just like us except for they don't have a home. They are like us, we are all human beings. We like the same stuff mostly. One thing I do since starting this is I make sure every backpack or bag that I pack has a bible in it. Because like I said above, everyone in their darkest days could use God in their life. I know I turned to God when I was down on my luck. So I want to give the gift of the Bible and the word of God to others. Yes, every backpack or bag comes with a bible. Sometimes I put a dollar in each bag. Yes I know its not much but hey every bit helps you know. Doing the "Backpacks/Bags For The Homeless" is something that makes me feel good about myself. It is very rewarding you know. To see the looks on the faces of those I give a backpack or bag too. How happy they are when they receive a backpack or bag from me. You know these people need help too. They are down on their luck at the moment and need help getting back on their feet. You may not have ever been in their position before and I hope you never are but they are human like us.
I love doing the "Backpacks/Bags For The Homeless". I get to meet a lot of interesting people who tell me their story and what brought them to be homeless. God is with them though, they make not think so but he is watching over them. God has angels watching over them that are there to protect them and guide them. I guess you could say that I am a messenger from God. As the bible says and don't quote me because I don't have my bible in front of me at the moment but somewhere in the bible it said to help those that are less fortunate and that is exactly what I am doing. I am giving back, paying it forward. You know why I do what I do? I do it not because I have to or because I expect something in return. No, that is not why I do what I do. I do this because I like to help others and like to see others happy. And if I can help people than that is what I am going to do. So I think I got off topic above. I don't know how others who do this sorta thing do it but what I do is I go to homeless shelters and I see people sitting outside and walk up to them and start a conversation with them as I have the backpacks and bags in hand. And I tell them that I do "Backpacks/Bags For The Homeless" and ask them if they would like a bag. I also go to places where I know homeless people hang out. You see, those homeless people who are staying in churches have no where to go during the day really so a lot of them either walk the streets with all their belongings in hand or hang out at the library or laundromats. I go to places where I think they will be. Not to sound judgmental or anything but I can normally tell if a person is homeless. Most of them carry backpacks or bags, I don't know, I can just tell mostly when a person is homeless. And well, its a dead giveaway if a person asks you for some money. Now when a person asks me for money and I can tell they are homeless if I have the money to spare I'll give them a few bucks or what change I have. I am by no means a rich person. I am trying to make it in the horrible economy just like everyone else. My way of giving back to the homeless is putting together bags for them. I know if they live in a homeless shelter that stuff is probably provided for them. However, I have heard about one homeless shelter in my area and what I heard isn't so great. However with that said, the lady that works in that homeless shelter was really nice to me when I dropped off backpacks to the shelter. So you really can't go on what you have heard, however when it comes from someone who has lived in that homeless shelter it makes you wonder. Anyways that could be hearsay and well I like to find out the truth on my own instead of listening to what others say.
The Winter season is coming up fast as it is getting colder and is cold in the mornings and cold at night. I feel really bad for those who are homeless and not living in a homeless shelter. I have seen people living under bridges before. I have seen people living in parks before. Mind you that was in big cities that is, not in my area. It is sad and I know those people have to be thinking that God has failed them but that is not the truth. God loves them and so does Jesus Christ.
I also started what I call "Save The Next Kid" or #savethenextkid I haven't done too much with this yet. I haven't totally launched my #savethenextkid campaign yet. What #savethenextkid is is well, preventing suicide and bullying. I was bullied as a kid in elementary school, middle school and high school. As an adult I still get bullied but as an adult I have been able to cope with it and deal with it better than I did when I was a kid. I don't want anyone to have to go through what I did. Bullying leads to suicide these days. Back in my day you didn't hear much about kids committing suicide but these days it seems like that is really all you hear about, that and someone being murdered. So #savethenextkid is a project I am working on to help stop bullying. Bullying comes in many forms you know. There is Cyber Bullying, Mental Bullying, Verbal Bullying, many different types. Hey, bullying is bullying no matter what way you look at it. Its wrong and someone needs to stand up and put a stop to it and help fight for those without a voice or who are unable to speak up for themselves. I do have a friend name Lala who has a campaign called #projectkindness in which she helps teens who are bullied. Her #projectkindness has taken off. I want my #savethenextkid to have a good start and help those who are bullied, not just teens but adults as well. I think I am going to buy a prepaid phone that I can use as a number/hotline for those who want to talk or need advice. Yep, that's what I am going to do. I just want to make a difference in this world and help others.
I also periodically go through my clothes and the articles of clothing that I don't really wear or that do not fit me anymore I put together and put them in a bag and take them to one of the homeless shelters. You know, I recently found out that socks are the most wanted item, the most needed item in a homeless shelter. So I must remember to add that to my list of items that I need to buy or need to collect for the homeless.
You know, at one of the homeless shelters I went to there was a guy sitting outside and unfortunately I only had bags for women that day with me. I hadn't put together the bags for guys yet. So I talked to him and come to find out he is an Army Veteran and he has a son and daughter, young kids. I told him I would be back with a backpack for him, I promised him that. I told him I would find him somehow. Well I went home that day and got to thinking, even though I had never put together any backpacks or bags for kids I was able to have 2 kids backpacks donated and items for kids and I bought some stuff for the kids and put the two backpacks together for his children and I put a really nice backpack together for him. I even gave him one of my Army jackets so he could stay warm.
So I just found one of my Facebook Posts about #BackpacksForTheHomeless so here it is.
Beginning of Facebook Post --->
Help get the word out & share this with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or any other social media site that you use.
*Please donate clothing items to the WARM Shelter in Waynesboro. I don't accept clothing donations as they take up too much room in backpacks and bags and I don't know what everyone's sizes are.
What is your WHY? When you know why you do what you do even the toughest days become easier! Why do I help the homeless? God showed me my need so I could be better aware of the needs of others. We are surrounded by family, friends & love and more than we need. The least we could do is sow that into someone who could use the reminder that God has not forgotten about them.
Items I Need:
* Toothbrushes and Toothpaste
* Combs and Brushes
* Body Wash and Soap
* School Supplies
* Notebooks
* Bibles & Religious Material
* Pens & Pencils
* Lotions & Hand Sanitizer
* Lufas & Washcloths
* Bottled Waters and Flavor Packs
* Deodorant (Men & Women)
* Cologne & Perfume
* Tampons & Pads
* Coffee Cups (Like in Gas Stations, not glass mugs)
* Shampoo & Conditioner
* Tooth Floss & Dental Picks
* Bandaids (First Aid Supplies)
* Religious Crosses
* Hats (Men & Women)
* Scarves & Gloves
* A personal note to show you care
* Wool Beanie Hat
* Pre-paid Phone Cards
* Multi Purpose Wipes
* Chapstick
* Sunblock
* Facial Wipes
* Water Bottles
* Heat Pack
* Multi-purpose tool
* Fruit Snacks
* Mints
* Gum
* Coloring Books
* Crayons & Markers
* Paints & Paintbrushes for the kids
You can drop off items to me or I can meet you somewhere to pick the items up. Any help is very much appreciated. <----- end="" facebook="" of="" p="" post=""> Backpacks For The Homeless video I did, I made several which I will try to pull up from my YouTube Channel if I can find them. I like making videos so people can see me and see that I am real. As you can see from the photos these are items I have bought to help with my Backpacks For The Homeless. I always put bibles in each bag or some kind of religious material in each bag I give out. Everyone needs God and Jesus Christ in their life.
So anyone that reads my blog and would like to help me with my "Backpacks/Bags For The Homeless" feel free to send me a message or email me. I would love to have more help. I don't mind doing it by myself. It is something I am very passionate about. I love what I do.
Psalms 1:6 says "For the Lord watches over all the plans and paths of Godly men, but the paths of the Godless lead to doom". Are you a Godly person? Or are you Godless? What do you think this scripture is saying? Psalms 2:10-12 says, "O kings and rulers of the earth, listen while there is time. Serve the Lord with reverent fear; rejoice with trembling. Fall down before his Son and kiss his feet before his anger is roused and you perish. I am warning you - his wrath will soon begin. But oh, the joys of those who put their trust in him.
Those are just some of the bible verses I have highlighted in my bible. I love my bible, it is copyrighted 1971. It is pretty old and it means a lot to me.
First of all, I am single again. It wasn't working out. I wasn't happy and neither were Rocky and Cinder. I just need to focus on getting my life back in order and things together and my bills caught up. Gotta get things back to the way they were before.
Second I now work at Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen. I am loving it there. It is a bit of a drive but I like it there. The crew I work with is great. And I am finally going to get the paycheck I want.
Third, I put a hold on AVON not because I wanted to but because my account got messed up so I should be back up in running soon I hope. That is my goal anyway.
So yeah things are looking up. I quit 7 Eleven to go work at Popeye's.
A dream is just a wish if you don't have a plan in action to achieve your dream and goals. Well I have a plan of action. I guess I just have different dreams and goals than others. However, I will not let anyone get in the way of my dreams and goals. I have had these dreams and goals for a long time and have been working on achieving them for a very long time. However I did put them on hold for awhile once I started working at 7 Eleven but I am determined to get back on the horse and get my shit together.
I have decided well, I decided this a long time ago but I am now researching on how to adopt a son from Germany or a son with German Descent. I want my child to be of German Descent because my father was born in Ulm, Germany. I will name my son Johann Kirchner Bean. Yep.
Today was the opening of Popeye's and I think it went well however I did get overwhelmed there for a minute
I have started the #savethenextkid project. It's a campaign against bullying. However, don't be fooled by the name, I also help adults who are being bullied.
Below is a Bullying Survey
Bullying comes in many forms. One form of bullying you may have heard of is Cyberbullying. With so many people on the Internet Cyberbullying has become a new platform for bullies.
It only takes one person to make a difference & to stand up & speak out. I am one of those people. I am launching a campaign to stop bullying & prevent suicide, #savethenextkid Together we can put a stop to bullying.
What my goal here is to help as many people as I can. I want others to speak out. Stand up & make your voice be heard. One way to combat bullying is to speak out against bullying & tell your story or the story of others. We need people to be aware that bullying is a real PROBLEM! Many people turn a blind eye or don't take suicide threats seriously.
I think school staff need to be trained in bullying and how to prevent it. A lot of the time School Staff Members don't take the bullying seriously or they brush it off. These days kids handle bullying different than we did when we were in school. We got bullied and did our best to survive those school years & look I survived but not without multiple suicide attempts and cutting myself. Kids these days are lead to believe that suicide is their only option, but it's not.
My goal as I said above is to help as many people as I can, kids and adults. I am going to make a video about bullying with my story and I encourage you to make a video with your story or the story of someone you may know. When posting on Social Media use the hashtag #savethenextkid Let's raise awareness about bullying & suicide. We can prevent it & we can help others.
There are so many brave kids these days that are speaking up about being bullied and shAring their story. They are amazing kids who are standing up & letting their voice be heard.
Being a Bystander shows that you agree with a bully. Don't be a bystander! When you see someone being bullied, take a stand & stop the person from being bullied. Speak out & help that person. Being a bystander means you are just as bad as the bully.
Cyberbullying has become one of the most popular forms of bullying. And because of being Cyberbullies so many kids these days are taking their own life because of the torture they are being put through. One example is Amanda Todd. Look her video up on Yourube. She tells her story in a video before she commits suicide. She was Cyberbullied and it got to be too much for her to handle and she committed suicide because she felt that was the only way to finally end the bullying.
Kids are not the only ones who are bullied. I used to be bullied at work, I now however have changed jobs. I at the time didn't realize I was being bullied until I started doing research about bullying. Here are 7 Facts of How To Deal With A Bully at Work
Please contact me if you would like to share your story or if you would like to be involved in #savethenextkid I would love to hear your story. If you are being bullied
Please contact me and I can help you get through this. You don't have to go through it alone. Suicide is NOT your only option to stop bullying.
I have started the #savethenextkid project. It's a campaign against bullying. However, don't be fooled by the name, I also help adults who are being bullied.
Below is a Bullying Survey
Bullying comes in many forms. One form of bullying you may have heard of is Cyberbullying. With so many people on the Internet Cyberbullying has become a new platform for bullies.
It only takes one person to make a difference & to stand up & speak out. I am one of those people. I am launching a campaign to stop bullying & prevent suicide, #savethenextkid Together we can put a stop to bullying.
What my goal here is to help as many people as I can. I want others to speak out. Stand up & make your voice be heard. One way to combat bullying is to speak out against bullying & tell your story or the story of others. We need people to be aware that bullying is a real PROBLEM! Many people turn a blind eye or don't take suicide threats seriously.
I think school staff need to be trained in bullying and how to prevent it. A lot of the time School Staff Members don't take the bullying seriously or they brush it off. These days kids handle bullying different than we did when we were in school. We got bullied and did our best to survive those school years & look I survived but not without multiple suicide attempts and cutting myself. Kids these days are lead to believe that suicide is their only option, but it's not.
My goal as I said above is to help as many people as I can, kids and adults. I am going to make a video about bullying with my story and I encourage you to make a video with your story or the story of someone you may know. When posting on Social Media use the hashtag #savethenextkid Let's raise awareness about bullying & suicide. We can prevent it & we can help others.
There are so many brave kids these days that are speaking up about being bullied and shAring their story. They are amazing kids who are standing up & letting their voice be heard.
Being a Bystander shows that you agree with a bully. Don't be a bystander! When you see someone being bullied, take a stand & stop the person from being bullied. Speak out & help that person. Being a bystander means you are just as bad as the bully.
Cyberbullying has become one of the most popular forms of bullying. And because of being Cyberbullies so many kids these days are taking their own life because of the torture they are being put through. One example is Amanda Todd. Look her video up on Yourube. She tells her story in a video before she commits suicide. She was Cyberbullied and it got to be too much for her to handle and she committed suicide because she felt that was the only way to finally end the bullying.
Kids are not the only ones who are bullied. I used to be bullied at work, I now however have changed jobs. I at the time didn't realize I was being bullied until I started doing research about bullying. Here are 7 Facts of How To Deal With A Bully at Work
Please contact me if you would like to share your story or if you would like to be involved in #savethenextkid I would love to hear your story. If you are being bullied
Please contact me and I can help you get through this. You don't have to go through it alone. Suicide is NOT your only option to stop bullying.
