Lost and Heartbroken

Lost in this lonely world

I am lost now

I am without what I once knew

Everything has changed

And not for the better

Life is sometimes too much to handle

I cannot grasp what is happening around me

It's like a bad nightmare that I cannot seem to wake up from

My world is spinning out of control

She cheated on me for 2 months with a man

A man that is now her boyfriend

She lied until I finally got it out of her

Now all I am to her is her "best friend"

Yes it is true, she knows me better than anyone else

She knows me better than my own parents know me

Yes, she is my best friend

But I always wanted to be more than that

And we were for the last 4 years

Until she decided to cheat on me with a man

The grass isn't always greener on the other side

And maybe she'll see that

I do believe in Karma

The good kind and the bad kind

She has hurt me so

And broken my heart into a million pieces

And I believe if she is due bad karma for the hurt that she has caused me

Than so be it, I have no control of the Karma that she receives

I do not wish bad upon her

I want her to be happy

Even if it is not with me

However, a part of me wishes that she ends up not happy with him

A part of me wishes that it doesn't work out with him

Not necessarily so she can come back to me

But so she can understand what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest

So she can understand what it feels like to have your heart broken into a million pieces

A part of me wants her to feel the pain that she has caused me

A part of me wants her to feel heartbreak

But I am a good person

And I do not wish ill on anyone

I want everyone to be happy and loved

I am just not a person like her that can hurt others intentionally

My world has become nothing but darkness

And I don't know how to cope

I try to live life one day at a time

But my life without her, without us as a couple

Saddens me and breaks my heart even more

We still live together and living with her

Knowing that she is not mine and that she is with someone else

Kills me all over again

The pain I feel is unbearable

And indescribable

I know life will go on

But I don't want life to go on without her

While she is my best friend and unfortunately that's all

And she is still living with me

I know one day she will move away to be with the man she left me for

And my heart will break all over again

My world will be shattered into a million pieces all over again

And I will lose her completely, forever

I can't cope or grasp this whole situation at all

Is this what dying from a broken heart feels like?

If so I don't want to live anymore

BULLET IN MY HEAD

BULLET IN MY HEAD

©️AIDEN KIRCHNER

Voices in my head

Like a bullet that pierces my brain

Agony in my mind

each voice feels like a splinter in my skull

Like shards of bone fragments that turn into a nagging pain

The nagging pain is like a bullet in my head

The voices swirling around in my head

Schizophrenia

It feels like there is a bullet in my head

I can't get them out

Schizophrenia is like a bullet in my head

Schizophrenia and Depression

SCHIZOPHRENIA AND DEPRESSION

©️AIDEN KIRCHNER

When does depression end?

When it ends you

What if I feel this way for the rest of my life?

I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel

How do you run away from things that are in your head?
Don't get too close, it's dark inside

It's where my demons hide

Tired of feeling like I'm trapped in my damn mind

Tired of feeling like my life is a damn game

Tell me how your story goes

Have you ever suffered?

If so, did you get better or have you you never quite recovered from it?

Tormented by my own mind

Mental Illness Sucks

Mental Illness Sucks

©️Aiden Kirchner

I don't think people understand how stressful it is to explain

what's going on in your head when you don't even understand it yourself

However, I keep a lot of shit to myself because in reality

nobody really gives a FUCK

No one really cares until something dramatic happens

Sleep isn't sleep anymore, it's an escape

The problem with depression is you know you'll be okay

but you still feel awful

you know people love you,

but sometimes it doesn't feel like they do

You know doing something will make you feel better,

but you just don't know how to

You want to be well, but you just can't see to get there

It sucks because, I was getting better

and now I'm not not

Mental Illness sucks

Depression

Depression

©️Aiden Kirchner

Never underestimate the pain of a person

Because in all honesty, everyone is struggling

Just some people are better at hiding it than others

"Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm just,"

Torn, Insecure, Ruined, Emotional, Depressed

Depression is a dark lonely place

I worry my depression and anxiety are always going to keep me from

being the person I dreamed of becoming

Depression is when you don't really care about anything

Anxiety is when you care too much about everything

and having both is HELL

I don't think anyone really understand how tiring it is to act okay

and always be strong when in reality you're close to the edge

Depression is living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die

Revolution and Anarchy

Revolution and Anarchy

©️Aiden Kirchner

The government says you are free as long as we can control

your resources, your education, your currency, your internet, your military,

your justice and your land

Why elect someone to control your life

We need more people speaking out

This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers

It's overrun with sheep and conformists

What you think, you become

Stay determined, start a revolution

I''m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance

But first, some REBELLION

We are human, no nationality, we all bleed the same color

If you're not angry, you're not paying attention

YOU are the revolution

Better to fight for something, than live for nothing

The secret to happiness is freedom

the secret to freedom is courage

Thoughts on the World

Thoughts on the World

©️Aiden Kirchner

Following your dreams has been canceled

We buy shit we don't need, with money we don't have

to impress people we don't like

We all bleed the same color, let's love another

instead of hating one another

If you think this shit is bad, you should see what the government is up to

Who will protect the public when the police violate the law?

Don't be a slave to the system

No one is free when other's are oppressed

If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission

PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN and connect with the world

My parents didn't take me serious as an artist

I got accepted to art school before entering high school

but my parents wouldn't let me go, they crushed my dreams

The earth isn't dying, its being killed

And those who are killing it have names and addresses