Monday, December 24, 2007
My dog
Stupid bipolar.. I was huggin zeus and than he decided 2 get up he figured he was goin 2 fall i was tryin 2 get up wen all of a sudden he knocked my lens out of my glasses i started crying i dont know why..i need 2 take my medicine..i havent yet today.. Its like i got all this shit built up inside i jus snapped 2nite.. I dont have any1 that i can talk 2 really..no 1 that will listen except 4 my therapist but she gets paid 2 listen 2 me talk 2 me...
Friday, December 14, 2007
Thinking........
Today was graduation at school. Aaron, who is my "bro" graduated today. Aaron is like a bro to me. He is one of my best friends & he graduated today. He's leaving, even though I know I'll see him again, it still kind of upsets me that I won't see him as often. Okay im going back to my school work now. I dont feel like writing anymore.
Friday, December 7, 2007
About me
Yeah so maybe im different. I have bi-polar disorder and paranoid schizophrenia. people treat me differently when they find out though. im no different than anybody else. i dont know why i am this way or what i can do to prevent it. im on medicine for it.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Big Five Word Test Results
| Big Five Word Test Results |
| Extroversion (35%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive. Accommodation (24%) low which suggests you are overly selfish, uncooperative, and difficult at the expense too often of the well being of others. Orderliness (67%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun. Emotional Stability (7%) very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Inquisitiveness (41%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly small minded, traditional, and conventional at the expense of intellectual curiousity, possibility, and progress. |
personality tests by similarminds.com
The Big Five is currently the most accepted personality model in the scientific community. The Big Five emerged from the work of multiple independent scientists/researchers starting in the 1950s who using different techniques obtained similar results. Those results were that there are five distinct personality traits/dimensions. Here are your results on each dimension:
Extroversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.
Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun.
Emotional Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Accommodation results were low which suggests you are overly selfish, uncooperative, and difficult at the expense too often of the well being of others.
Inquisitiveness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly small minded, traditional, and conventional at the expense of intellectual curiousity, possibility, and progress.
Global 5: sloan RLOEN; sloan+ xL|O|ei; primary Organized; X(50%)L(93%)O(67%)E(76%)I(41%)
| Personality Disorder Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
Test Note: Read the descriptions below to avoid misinterpreting test results (for example, the Antisocial classification does not mean you are a loner, it means you tend to be insensitive towards others).
General Note: the validity and reliability of DSM personality disorders are still lacking in strong statistical evidence and clear agreement in the scientific and medical community. They are determined by the American Psychiatric Association and will likely be revised in the future.
Author Note:I don't think Schizoid personality is a valid disorder (read), some of the smartest people in history were schizoid because they occupied a remote end of the intelligence bell curve. Schizotypal personality can encompass highly original thinkers as well as totally insane people so I think it's a flawed type. I think the remaining eight disorders are generally valid.
Disorder Info
Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal
Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.
Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.
Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.
Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic
Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.
Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.
Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.
Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive
Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.
Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism
Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.
Personality Disorder Test
| Personality Disorder Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
Test Note: Read the descriptions below to avoid misinterpreting test results (for example, the Antisocial classification does not mean you are a loner, it means you tend to be insensitive towards others).
General Note: the validity and reliability of DSM personality disorders are still lacking in strong statistical evidence and clear agreement in the scientific and medical community. They are determined by the American Psychiatric Association and will likely be revised in the future.
Author Note:I don't think Schizoid personality is a valid disorder (read), some of the smartest people in history were schizoid because they occupied a remote end of the intelligence bell curve. Schizotypal personality can encompass highly original thinkers as well as totally insane people so I think it's a flawed type. I think the remaining eight disorders are generally valid.
Disorder Info
Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal
Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.
Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.
Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.
Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic
Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.
Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.
Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.
Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive
Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.
Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism
Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.
General Note: the validity and reliability of DSM personality disorders are still lacking in strong statistical evidence and clear agreement in the scientific and medical community. They are determined by the American Psychiatric Association and will likely be revised in the future.
Author Note:I don't think Schizoid personality is a valid disorder (read), some of the smartest people in history were schizoid because they occupied a remote end of the intelligence bell curve. Schizotypal personality can encompass highly original thinkers as well as totally insane people so I think it's a flawed type. I think the remaining eight disorders are generally valid.
Disorder Info
Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal
Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.
Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.
Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.
Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic
Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.
Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.
Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.
Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive
Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.
Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism
Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.
Thoughts From Around July-Aug 2007
----------
!THOUGHTS!
----------
I'm telling you, the aliens are after me...they can read my mind. I was listening to the radio & all of a sudden I started hearing static & then the aliens were talking to me over the radio. Schizophrenia doesn't really exist, you know. It was invented by psychiatrists to get me to take all those little colored pills. Actually, what they want to do is control my brain, so that I can't communicate with the aliens who are helping me to be a better person. But I'll show them. I'm hiding all the pills under my tongue and then saving them up so I can get a realhigh. The aliens told me if I save my pills then I will feel the ultimate high of life and that my problems will go away. One alien told me that Big Brother will stop us and there may be blood shed. I don't know what he was talking about.You MUST avoid letting anyone know you are paranoid at ALL COSTS! Once they know this you will have a state of constant fear, it is much, much easier for the CIA, the shadow government, the aliens, the psychiatrists and the mimes to control you. The mimes haveent gotten me yet. They never will. Im not scared of them.rust me, you don't want that to happen to you, being paranoid that is. Personally, I spend weeks and weeks thinking that this is just me and who i am but then i realize maybe im not normal. is it normal to sit up at night and worry if somseone is going to attack u while our sleeoign? Or sleep with you feet never uncovered, securely tucked under the blanket because the aliens told me that if I had my feet outside the covers while I was sleeping that it made it more easier for the clowns to chop off my featYou dont see the aliens coming after me. You dont seetheir beattie little eyes staring at you, while your
standing there in a constant fear, panicking, wondering what to do and what they want with you or what they are going to do to you. I saw a large purple Loch Ness Monster telling me to set fire to things,and the only thing i caught fire was my arm. not really caught fire but they kept sayingto me "pain pain fire fire arm, so i assumed that i was to catch myself on fire so i lit my cigarette inhaled and kept puffin until the cherry was ncie and hot and then i stuck it on my arm and released the pain i had. Delusions are broadcast by the CIA from a remote station in Antarctica and then relayed through your skull by satellites in geostationary orbit over Area 51, in Nevada. HOWEVER, a thin layer of aluminum foil is sufficient to deflect the government's delusion-waves. Delusions can also be spread by viruses and bacteria, which the Postal Service mixes into the glue in their stamps. When you
lick them, you get the delusion-inducing bacteria. Think about it: how else could they possibly get so many people to vote Republican? Disorganized thinking. For instance, you might suffer from disorganized thinking if you could not follow the clearly laid out connection between the CIA controlling John F. Kennedy through implants in his head, which caused him to order NASA to fake the moon landings, which in turn resulted in his assassination by Fidel Castro because... um, well, anyhow, my point is it's all run by the Postmaster General. Hallucinations. These
are really bad. Just ask the big green dragon in my closet. He gets some wacked-out hallucinations. More common are auditory hallucinations, such as hearing
voices (no, mother, I will not set fire to my head right now, I am *trying* to write an article!) Megalomania. This is thinking you are someone really, really important. This symptom is much less common than it used to be, because as the second coming of
Jesus Christ, I have been using my touch to heal people. Substance abuse. Schizomaphrenics often suffer from... shubshtance abush. Mother, you're the greatesh. I mean that mother. Your the besht mother I ever had. Dammit mother, I can drink whenever I want! Shhut up! Seriously mother, you're wonderful. If you
see the devil on this computer screen to the right of
this text, you have schizophrenia.If you see Adolf Hitler in your backyard, you have
schizophrenia. Adolf Hitler has been in my backyard. He's trying to hide, that's why he gets so mad when mom & the next door neighbor try to sprout up the
bamboo. Adolf needs a place ot hide so he can take over the world again. Only this time, it'll be the United States he'll try to take over, not Germany. Of course he won't be able to take over Germany so he'll take another atempt at going back to Germany to take Germany over. Adolf laughs and says to me, "its funny how stupid people are when it comes to faking one's death. you fake your death then automatically you go down in the history books and your famous, and
according to the history books, dead. do i look dead tto you,? no sir you sure dont look dead.I saw Adolf several times. Adolf celebrated my 21st birthday with me when i had my own apartment.
!THOUGHTS!
----------
I'm telling you, the aliens are after me...they can read my mind. I was listening to the radio & all of a sudden I started hearing static & then the aliens were talking to me over the radio. Schizophrenia doesn't really exist, you know. It was invented by psychiatrists to get me to take all those little colored pills. Actually, what they want to do is control my brain, so that I can't communicate with the aliens who are helping me to be a better person. But I'll show them. I'm hiding all the pills under my tongue and then saving them up so I can get a realhigh. The aliens told me if I save my pills then I will feel the ultimate high of life and that my problems will go away. One alien told me that Big Brother will stop us and there may be blood shed. I don't know what he was talking about.You MUST avoid letting anyone know you are paranoid at ALL COSTS! Once they know this you will have a state of constant fear, it is much, much easier for the CIA, the shadow government, the aliens, the psychiatrists and the mimes to control you. The mimes haveent gotten me yet. They never will. Im not scared of them.rust me, you don't want that to happen to you, being paranoid that is. Personally, I spend weeks and weeks thinking that this is just me and who i am but then i realize maybe im not normal. is it normal to sit up at night and worry if somseone is going to attack u while our sleeoign? Or sleep with you feet never uncovered, securely tucked under the blanket because the aliens told me that if I had my feet outside the covers while I was sleeping that it made it more easier for the clowns to chop off my featYou dont see the aliens coming after me. You dont seetheir beattie little eyes staring at you, while your
standing there in a constant fear, panicking, wondering what to do and what they want with you or what they are going to do to you. I saw a large purple Loch Ness Monster telling me to set fire to things,and the only thing i caught fire was my arm. not really caught fire but they kept sayingto me "pain pain fire fire arm, so i assumed that i was to catch myself on fire so i lit my cigarette inhaled and kept puffin until the cherry was ncie and hot and then i stuck it on my arm and released the pain i had. Delusions are broadcast by the CIA from a remote station in Antarctica and then relayed through your skull by satellites in geostationary orbit over Area 51, in Nevada. HOWEVER, a thin layer of aluminum foil is sufficient to deflect the government's delusion-waves. Delusions can also be spread by viruses and bacteria, which the Postal Service mixes into the glue in their stamps. When you
lick them, you get the delusion-inducing bacteria. Think about it: how else could they possibly get so many people to vote Republican? Disorganized thinking. For instance, you might suffer from disorganized thinking if you could not follow the clearly laid out connection between the CIA controlling John F. Kennedy through implants in his head, which caused him to order NASA to fake the moon landings, which in turn resulted in his assassination by Fidel Castro because... um, well, anyhow, my point is it's all run by the Postmaster General. Hallucinations. These
are really bad. Just ask the big green dragon in my closet. He gets some wacked-out hallucinations. More common are auditory hallucinations, such as hearing
voices (no, mother, I will not set fire to my head right now, I am *trying* to write an article!) Megalomania. This is thinking you are someone really, really important. This symptom is much less common than it used to be, because as the second coming of
Jesus Christ, I have been using my touch to heal people. Substance abuse. Schizomaphrenics often suffer from... shubshtance abush. Mother, you're the greatesh. I mean that mother. Your the besht mother I ever had. Dammit mother, I can drink whenever I want! Shhut up! Seriously mother, you're wonderful. If you
see the devil on this computer screen to the right of
this text, you have schizophrenia.If you see Adolf Hitler in your backyard, you have
schizophrenia. Adolf Hitler has been in my backyard. He's trying to hide, that's why he gets so mad when mom & the next door neighbor try to sprout up the
bamboo. Adolf needs a place ot hide so he can take over the world again. Only this time, it'll be the United States he'll try to take over, not Germany. Of course he won't be able to take over Germany so he'll take another atempt at going back to Germany to take Germany over. Adolf laughs and says to me, "its funny how stupid people are when it comes to faking one's death. you fake your death then automatically you go down in the history books and your famous, and
according to the history books, dead. do i look dead tto you,? no sir you sure dont look dead.I saw Adolf several times. Adolf celebrated my 21st birthday with me when i had my own apartment.
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