A History of National Coming Out Day

A History of National Coming Out DayEvery Oct. 11, thousands of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people and allies celebrate National Coming Out Day. They hold workshops, speak-outs, rallies and other kinds of events all aimed at showing the public that GLBT people are everywhere. But what's so special about Oct. 11? How did that become a day aimed at encouraging GLBT people to come out and be honest about themselves?In the Beginning, There Was a March: 1987 On Oct. 11, 1987, half a million people participated in the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. This was the second such demonstration in our nation's capital and the first display of the NAMES Project Quilt, remembering those who have died from AIDS. One measure of the march's success was the number of organizations that were founded as a result — including the National Latino/a Gay & Lesbian Organization (LLEG..) and AT&T's GLBT employee group, LEAGUE. The momentum continued four months after this extraordinary march as more than 100 gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender activists from around the country gathered in Manassas, Va., about 25 miles outside Washington, D.C. Recognizing that the GLBT community often reacted defNCOD materialsensively to anti-gay actions, they came up with the idea of a national day to celebrate coming out and chose the anniversary of that second march on Washington to mark it. The originators of the idea were Rob Eichberg, a founder of the personal growth workshop, The Experience, and Jean O'Leary, then head of National Gay Rights Advocates. National Coming Out Day was born.O'Leary expanded the West Hollywood, Calif., office of NGRA to give National Coming Out Day its first headquarters. She hired staff and began preparations for the big day. And, activist Sean Strub got Keith Haring to donate his now-famous image of a person fairly dancing out of a closet. The first National Coming Out Day was celebrated with events in 18 states, and national media attention including The Oprah Winfrey Show, CNN, USA Today and National Public Radio.Lynn Shepodd, who later became a member of HRC's board of governors, was part of that first year's organizing and remembers that the concept wasn't universally popular in the gay community. "There were some who opined that NCOD was an invasion of privacy because the movement had been based on respecting gay peoples' private lives," she says. "It was clear, though, that the community was ready to take its next step and be out. You cannot have an invisible movement."

The next year, National Coming Out Day headquarters moved to Santa Fe, N.M., where Eichberg could oversee it. Pilo Bueno was hired as national coordinator and expanded events marking the day to 21 states — no mean feat without a computer and relying on a mailing list that was handwritten on a lavender pad.

1990: Combining Forces

In 1990, Shepodd was hired as executive director and among her first actions was to obtain tax-exempt status for the organization. In an effort to make the Haring coming out image a universal symbol, Shepodd began requesting free ad space in the gay press to run it. A total of 150 publications eventually agreed. Her innovations resulted in the expansion of National Coming Out Day to all 50 states and seven foreign countries.

Over the next three years, National Coming Out Day continued to grow and thrive.

In 1993, late author and activist Marvin Liebman joins Lynn Shepodd, then National Coming Out Day's executive director, and Tim McFeeley, then HRCF's executive director.

In 1991, Geraldo Rivera hosted a coming out day TV program that featured Dick Sargent, a gay actor famous for playing Darren on Bewitched, openly gay California Assemblywoman Sheila Kuehl and Eichberg. A turning point came in 1993 when National Coming Out Day merged with the then-Human Rights Campaign Fund.

"I wanted to kick this project up to the next level and HRCF had the muscle to do it," Shepodd says. Tim McFeeley, then executive director of HRCF, also understood the impact the merger could have, and saw it as a missing piece of the movement. "There were so many activists who were still afraid of being truthful about their own lives," remembers Shepodd "Tim saw NCOD as a way to make a bigger impact on public policy issues."

1994: Star Power

Wes Combs was named HRCF's project director for National Coming Out Day, and one of his first — and smartest — innovations was to add celebrities to the program. Actress Amanda Bearse of Fox-TV's Married… With Children agreed to be chairperson for National Coming Out Day 1994. At the time, Bearse was the only nationally known actress who was open about her lesbianism, and her participation in community events across the country drew a new and larger audience to the day. She appeared in a public service announcement with the message: "I'm not a straight woman but I play one on TV. And that's where acting belongs — on television or in the movies. Not in real life. That's why I stopped acting and came out."

Actors, straight allies and parents of Ben Stiller, Anne Meara and Jerry Stiller, flank then NCOP Manager Wes Combs at the NYC Gay and Lesbian Business Expo in 1994.

Under Executive Director Elizabeth Birch, HRC grew National Coming Out Day into a year-round program that promotes honesty and openness about being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender on campus, in the workplace and at home. HRC named this new effort the National Coming Out Project, with yearlong activities that culminate in the observation of National Coming Out Day every Oct. 11.

Then NCOP Manager Wes Combs, actor Amanda Bearse and Albert Williams, partner of late actor Dick Sargent, at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Community Center celebrating National Coming Out Day 1994.

1995: One Sister, A Bulldog and Two Coasts

In 1995, Candace Gingrich (half-sister of then-House Speaker Newt Gingrich) become a National Coming Out Project spokesperson and full-time activist. That year, she traveled to 52 cities in six months, delivering the message, "Your brother doesn't have to be speaker of the House for your voice to be heard." The other project spokesperson that year was Dan Butler, who plays the character Bulldog on NBC-TV's Frasier. Butler appeared in broadcast and print public service announcements with the message "I'm not a straight man, but I play one on television." Rock musician Melissa Etheridge did a radio public service announcement, reminding people that "Labels belong on records, not on people." More than 100 radio stations aired Etheridge's message.

National Coming Out Day was celebrated that year on both coasts — at a morning news conference with Butler, Gingrich, Birch and the staff of HRC at the U.S. Capitol, and an evening reception at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Community Center.

Birch, Butler and Gingrich participated in that event as well, along with California Assemblywoman Kuehl, National Coming Out Day co-founder Jean O'Leary, and Frasier co-stars Jane Leeves and Peri Gilpin. The event was bittersweet, however, because co-founder Rob Eichberg had died just two months before.

National Coming Out Day, Oct. 11, 1995
Top: Wes Combs, then NCOP manager, Candace Gingrich, Dan Butler and Elizabeth Birch, HRC's executive director, in front of the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C.
Bottom: Then California Assemblywoman Sheila Kuehl, Frazier stars Jane Leeves and Peri Gilpin join NCOD spokespeople Candace Gingrich and Dan Butler.

Come Out Voting: 1996

HRC ratcheted up the project's profile in 1996 because it was a presidential election year, and a very important one for the GLBT community. The theme was, "You've got the Power. Register. Vote." HRC brought together a stable of spokespeople to pose for a print ad with that message. Fashion photographer Don Flood shot past spokespeople Bearse, Butler and Gingrich, along with Olympic diver Greg Louganis, actor Mitchell Anderson, newly minted gay activist Chastity Bono and Sean Sasser, who had appeared in MTV's The Real World. That photo became the image on posters, public service announcements and the cover of the HRC Quarterly that was spread across the nation.

Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, D-D.C., speaking at the "Come Out Voting" rally in Washington, D.C., Oct. 11, 1996.

Bono, Sasser and Gingrich traveled the country that year, speaking at gay prides, HRC dinners and other events as part of their roles as National Coming Out Project spokespeople. The year's activities peaked at a huge "Come Out Voting" rally in Washington, on the Ellipse behind the White House. More than 1,000 supporters attended, and heard speeches from actress Judith Light, pro golfer Muffin Spencer-Devlin and, in her first appearance at a gay rights event, Cher. The rally was carried live by C-SPAN, and rerun several times, so that millions of Americans could be part of National Coming Out Day.

Straight-ally and performer Cher speaking as a proud mother of lesbian daughter Chastity Bono on Oct. 11, 1996.

1997: Super Mom

In September 1997 the project brought in its first straight spokesperson - Betty DeGeneres, mother of actress/comedian Ellen DeGeneres. The message she delivered and continues to spread is perhaps the most powerful of all. "The fact that I'm a mom advocating equal rights for my daughter and her partner underscores the point that ending discrimination based on sexual orientation is not just important to gay people, it's important to their families and the people who love them," she told HRC Quarterly in 1997.

Fall 1996 HRC Quarterly cover featuring Betty DeGeneres and daughter Ellen. (Photo by Annie Leibovitz)

Betty DeGeneres traveled the country with this message, and also made a television public service announcement for HRC entitled "For Our Families." In it, she said: "For too long, gay Americans have suffered discrimination. As long as our sons and daughters are excluded from the basic protection of law, we must share that burden as a family." HRC and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation co-hosted a celebrity reception in Los Angeles to mark National Coming Out Day 1997. The event featured past project spokespeople, as well as Ellen DeGeneres and her then-partner, actress Anne Heche.

Happy Anniversary to NCOD: 1998

The following year, 1998, was National Coming Out Day's 10th anniversary. The project's public service campaign focused on the image of a birthday cake decorated with the Keith Haring artwork. The 10th anniversary was featured that year as a cover story in the HRC Quarterly. Because this was also an election year, the coming out message emphasized that the GLBT community cannot achieve equality from the closet and encouraged political involvement.

HRC hosted National Coming Out Day festivities in San Francisco, beginning with a black-tie dinner Oct. 10, which featured emcee Joan Rivers. Since Oct. 11 fell on a Sunday that year, there was a morning interdenominational service held to reaffirm the support people of faith have for honesty and equality. HRC's official NCOD event was held in San Francisco's Delores Park and featured a who's who of openly gay and supportive politicians, actors and activists, including Patrick Bristow (formerly of the Ellen TV show), Dan Butler, San Francisco Supervisor Mark Leno, longtime activist Donna Red Wing, Betty DeGeneres, emcee Candace Gingrich andMayor Willie Brown. That year, HRC produced a Spanish translation of the Resource Guide to Coming Out, including a foreword by the "Latina Oprah," Univision TV talk show host Christina Seralegui.