3 Feb 2008

I hate myself right now. I hate who i've become. I hate that i don't hate a job. I hate that i don't have any money.
I hate myself cos i feel like i'm a failure. I feel like i'm not good enough 4 any1. I feel like every1 expects so much of me.
I just don't know wat 2 do anymore. I feel so lost inside. My mind is a ticking time bomb just waiting 2 go off.
Somethin is crawlin on my skin..i don't know wat it is but its something
I ripped the skin off my foot. I think i have athletes feet thanks 2 the army cos i had 2 wear those combat boots wen i was n the army.
I can't sleep. Kourtnee is passed out next 2 me. She so snores n her sleep. Lol.. I forgot exactly wat she has.
I know that she has to use a nebulizer when she gets real sick. I think thats why she snores 4 one.
I can't sleep but my eyes are gettin heavy. I had 2 pee earlier and before i went 2 the bathroom i was fallin asleep.
After i came bak from the bathroom i was wide awake again. But my eyes are so gettin heavy again.
I feel like i'm bout 2 go 2 sleep soon.
Maria scared the shit out of me earlier. She sat str8 up & it scared me. I don't think she was awake tho.
I talked 2 her but she didn't respond. Lol. Kevin is in there talkin 2 himself. Elizabeth was talkin n her sleep.
It was freakin me out. I guess n a way i'm scared. I'm scared about a lot of things.
I don't like Craigsville. This town scares the hell out of me. I'm not goin 2 get n2 all that tho. I don't talk about my feelings tho.
I so was going 2 fix something 2 eat but every1 went 2 bed on me. I'm layin n bed but can't sleep.
I can't even use the internet on my phone cos i'm n roaming cos we're out n Craigsville.
I took kourtnee back 2 school 2 c every1 but there weren't many ppl there. She ended up having an argument with Nicolette.
She never did tell me wat that was about. Or wat corey said. Maybe she didn't tell me cos she didn't want me gettin pissed off.