confused

I’m lost in this little world of confusion
I don’t know what to think
or how to act
but I go about doing what my heart tells me is right
and my heart has landed me in one tough spot
and now I sit here
and wonder what to do
I’m in love with a girl, that has a bf
and even though she tells me she loves me
and wants to be with me
that doesn’t mean we will be together
because she hasn’t left him yet
and I have started liking another girl
and she has someone
I wonder to myself, as I sit here
why do I do this to myself?
Why do I set myself up for sadness
and disappointment?
I don’t know what to do
as I sit here
and all these thoughts start swelling up in my head
my head is going to explode
as I go to sleep now
and pray for her
I hope that she knows, just in case I died tonight
how much I love her
and everything that I said was true