Bipolar Disorder

Yes I have Manic Depressive Bipolar Disorder. Some days I dont feel like getting out of bed. Some nights I go thru Manic phases. Some days my moods are up and down. Some days I don't feel like being around people which is hard for me because I work with the public. A lot of the time I overthink and create problems for myself that weren't there before. Overthinking is a problem for me so I try to stay busy and keep my mind on other things. Playing Words With Friends helps keep my mind busy. Sometimes my bipolar hits a low and I could be down for a week or more. And having seasonal depression doesn't help either it just makes it worse. And unfortunately its that time of the year where the weather is getting cold and my seasonal depression will be showing its face. I try to stay positive and be upbeat about life but some days its hard. Some days I am very emotional other days I am emotionless. Some days seem like a blur to me and I feel like I have no energy at all. Other days I have all the energy in the world and can get a lot done and accomplished. Some days I just want to be by myself but other days I am lonely and want to be around people and have someone to talk too. Bipolar isn't a joke, its not funny when you're the one living with it. But with all my mental illnesses I try to find humor in it because sometimes that helps. I am me, this is me, I have Bipolar. I was diagnosed with it in 2005 when I was in the Army. I don't know if I have always had it but when I look back on my childhood especially my teen years I realize that yes I did have Bipolar but back then the term Bipolar didn't exist. People weren't diagnosed Bipolar and I hadn't ever heard the term before. Seems like these days everybody has bipolar. I think some doctors are diagnosing people with bipolar even if they don't have it but I could be wrong. People use the term bipolar wrong, like, "stop acting bipolar" or "you're so bipolar". It seems to be a term used even for people who aren't bipolar. And tou think its okay to joke about it but you don't have bipolar so you wouldn't know what its like living with it unless you've been around it. The ups and downs of it can be a bit much to handle sometimes but I get by. I am a survivor and will continue the fight. I haven't given up but I know people who have and they ended up comitting suicide.
#bipolar