Thinking

Sometimes thinking isn't such a bad thing. Just to sit there & reflect on your life by yourself with your thoughts. It's okay, sometimes you just need to be alone & shut the world out. 

I've been doing a LOT of thinking lately. This past week hasn't been such a good week for me, however because I tend to overthink things & that's always a bad thing. However, I woke up this morning & decided since it is a new day that I would change my outlook on life & change my mindset. I decided that I would apologize to those who I've hurt. 

I've been pretty quiet on Facebook today & anyone who knows me well knows that's not me. I am always blowing everyone's newsfeed up. I have been in a writing mood today so I've been writing a lot today & also the reason for the absence on Facebook is because I realized not EVERYTHING needs to go on Facebook & I don't always have to be on there. Also, there are some things that I actually DO keep to myself. That is because I'm just not ready to tell anyone those things. So yeah, decided I would take a little break from Facebook.

So I've been doing a lot of thinking today which is not a bad thing. I woke up with a different perspective on life & a clear mind. I'm a changed person, I'm making a brand new start in life. Mind you, I'm not giving up hope for my future because I know my life is in God's hands & he will lead me down the right path that I am meant to follow.

I came to the realization last night after I had a Bipolar Episode & carved Vickie's name into my arm with a knife that I needed to change & like right now. I was going back to the person I used to be & that person was unhappy all the time. Not someone I exactly wanted to be or liked. I don't want that for my life, not at all. I want to be happy, I CHOOSE to be happy.

I was going to sleep in this morning but of course, my biological alarm clock woke me up at 4am so I got up out of bed & made coffee & started thinking which led me to start writing & that's what I've been doing ever since. 

I decided this morning to change who I am, to change for the better. I decided that since today is a new day & I have a chance to make a fresh start that's what I was going to do. And so far, it's been a pretty good day. Sometimes, like today, I just need to be alone to gather my thoughts & im glad I did, for my sake. 

Today is Halloween & my best friend Karen is coming over after work & we're going to get dressed up & hand out candy that I bought. I haven't celebrated Halloween in many years so this will be quite a change, a good day it will be. And so I hope anyone who is reading this, I hope y'all have a wonderful day & a great Halloween & be safe & have fun.