Tuesday, May 24, 2011

May 24th More Madness Of An Bipolar Schizophrenic Insomniac

I still have not been to sleep yet. I didn’t go to sleep last night & was up all day today & I am still up now & have not gone to sleep yet tonight and I will probably be up all night too. I just don’t feel like going to sleep. I do have sleeping pills that my doctor prescribed me to help me sleep though, but I just don’t want to take them tonight & didn’t want to take them last night. I do take them sometimes though, because sometimes I just really do feel like going to sleep that way all the madness can stop in my brain. When the really crazy madness starts in my brain I go to sleep. And I am talking about the really crazy madness that gets to the point where it irritates me & aggravates me & drives me crazy, yeah that really crazy madness. When it gets like that I’m like okay leave me alone because I am going to sleep because I have to go to sleep to stop the crazy madness. LOL. Yep yep. It has gotten like that a couple times in the past two weeks. And if you are asking, yes I have been taking my medicine. Shit, I know I need my medicine and trust me I do want to take it. Sometimes however I do forget to take it. But I don’t forget for long that I have forgotten to take it because I can tell that I have forgotten to take it & I am quick to take it to make everything much much better.

Come to the dark side.. we have cookies! Welcome to the dark side, are you surprised we lied about having cookies? Yeah, I don't give out cookies. I just give out a dose of craziness, madness, pure and total insaneness, you are sure to lose your mind after you have come to my dark side.

Jen L Graves would you like to come to the dark side? If I said we had cookies on the dark side I would be lying. But you are sure to get a dose of crazy, pure insane, madness. You come to the dark side & you will be eventually humming & singing along with the rest of us to the song "Take Me Away To The Funny Farm".

is not going into the enchanted forest with the pink fairies and the neon green polka dot monkeys that are searching for the unicorns because I will be down in the fiery pits of hell trying to take over & most likely ending up slaughtering Satan with a machete or a pitchfork or an ax or the biggest damn knife I can find. Anyone want to come? You can help me take over Hell.

Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, don't EVER piss off my girlfriend, that would be a big mistake & might possibly lead to your death LOL....my girlfriend Jen L Gravesjust went the hell off on PayPal in an email, she told them EXACTLY what the hell she thought. They made the mistake of pissing her off when she's in a bad mood & has not had any sleep in days. I'm proud of her.

OK, let me get something straight here ... You're calling me crazy, mentally challenged, fruit loop, completely mad, mentally unstable, insane, off my rocker, wacko, and mentally unbalanced like it's a BAD THING?

is sitting in a corner watching my imaginary friends fight the shadows on the wall, they are fighting over which Marilyn Manson song gets played next & I do believe my imaginary friends won cos they've stabbed to death the shadows on the wall because blood is dripping down the wall. Ohhhh how exciting, gotta love a little blood & gore every now & then.

Okay call me crazy, mentally unstable, insane, mad, mentally challenged, off my rocker, & mentally unbalanced if you want but if you don't stop I'm going to send the dead people that I see & my imaginary friends after you to attack you. They will get you for sure. You SHOULD be scared, you will be scared after they get a hold of you!!

For all the people who like to poke me, I have currently lost my mind & I have gone to look for it. I am not sure when I will be back or if I will be back ever. Keep on poking me but I won't be here to poke you back. So sorry. Have currently lost my mind & have to go look for it, not sure if I will ever find it but it will be an adventure looking for it.

Ahhhhh cat hair every where. My hands are sweating & the cat hair is sticking to my damn hands. Ahhh, I'm going to go crazy. Ugh, its going to get on my face & then I will start twitching & itching. I'll try to ignore it right now. OMG, so many pussies every where, hair is uh flying every where. Oh well, I have already gone crazy, it will just make me crazier. LOL.

Someone suggested next time you're in Walmart wear a plastic crown & get someone to push you around in a cart & wave but you would totally look like a dumbass if you did that, I suggest go to the electronics & set all the clocks alarm to a certain time & then go hide & wait for them all to go off at once & listen to loud chiming sound & watch the chaos as the salesperson tries to get them all turned off. LMFAO.

Christy Rockwell Leath You know, I had totally forgotten that you were on my friend's list still because I hadn't seen any updates in my news feed from you & hadn't seen you make any comments or pokes or likes from you, you were like hiding as if you had disappeared. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere you appear. LOL.

I'll tell you like I told Kathryn Spivey. I'm crazy. Why would I want to be normal? That is just no fun & there is no excitement in life to being normal. I tried being normal once but it didn't work out so well for me. So I decided to go back to being crazy. Ever since then life has been pretty exciting & a whole lot less boring then being normal was.

I love you Jen L Graves, and I know you love me even though I am a crazy, insane, bipolar, schizophrenic insomniac. LOL. But, we fit together so perfectly.

I'm sane enough to know the consequences but insane enough to do it!

I have Adhd, Schizophrenia, Borderline personality disorder, Obsessive–compulsive disorder, Bipolar disorder, and Paranoid schizophrenia. Its not like I'm going to hide it. Its sometimes hard to hide anyway. Everyone already thinks I am crazy & insane & yet most people still seem to love me anyway. LOL.

people always ask me "Do you know what you are" & I always say "Yep, I'm crazy, funny, with a pinch of insane & just happen to have Adhd, Schizophrenia,Borderline personality disorder, Obsessive–compulsive disorder, Bipolar disorder, and Paranoid schizophrenia but everyone loves me anyway"

4 out of 5 voices are telling me to do it. The other one is yelling at me in German! Just because my dad was born in Ulm, Germany does not mean that I can speak German or understand German. Damn you voice, speak in ENGLISH!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAH AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH and for your information i am only a little crazy and insane

That awkward moment when you're sitting in your toilet cubical minding your own business and BAM the dead people & your imaginary friends busts in trying to sell you weed...

Tell me why one of the suggestions on the right side of the screen that is "related to my post" said pink fairies? Hum, I don't ever recall writing anything about pink fairies, ever. They seriously have the "Related To Your Post" words messed up. Never would I write about pink fairies. Idiots.

Facebook must be messed up tonight. It said I had one new message in my inbox & I went to it & there was no new messages in my inbox. Facebook needs to stop lying to me. LOL. I don't have any new messages. Maybe they are trying to make me think I am going crazy. Hum, yeah, that is a good possibility.

HAHA. I just have to LMFAO because that last status I posted was about Facebook messing up. However, it now says on the right side of the screen "Related To Your Post" is Coca-Cola & Justin Bieber. Seriously, re-read my message, I didn't mention either one in that status message. Facebooks words that are related to my post is definitely wrong.

I'm that crazy lesbian that will drive u insane ...but you will love every minute of it!!!

I love "me" so much, my doctor gave me a nice jacket that helps me hug myself!

well yesterday was another hard day, my imaginary friends were running with scissors towards the dead people that I see whom were running towards my imaginary friends with machetes, & the voices in my head where fighting with themselves & I just couldn't get no peace & quiet, & I'm still missing my helmet & crayons

I'm going to start listening to the voices in my head. Be afraid. Be very afraid. lol

They say that when you dream about somebody, they went to sleep thinking about you. Quick! everybody think about me and we will have a big party in my dreams!!

One of the voices called me weird, so I started cussing it out in English, British English, Redneckology, American Slang and Ebonics.

I do believe that the cats think the recliner is a trampoline because all day they were jumping back and forth on it & constantly knocking off the ash tray on Jen L Graves lap & kept knocking her mouse onto the floor. This of course irritated Jen, shit, it would irritate me to if the ash tray got dumped in my lap & if the mouse kept getting thrown on the floor.

Who the hell would want to be sane? They don't prescribe drugs for that!

Psycho is just another way of saying "adorable with knives". And oh how I do love my knife collection.

STAGES OF INSANITY:
1. Talks to self
2. Argues with self
3. Loses argument with self
4. Is no longer talking with self
Yep I have gone through all these stages and when I am done with number 4 I move on and
1. Have a conversation with my cats
2. Arguing with the cats
3. Losing an argument with the cats
4. No longer having a conversation with the cats.

I have multiple personalities, can you figure out which one I am right now?

The voices in my head were arguing again, they been arguing all day, so I told them that if they didn't shut up I was gonna shove cotton balls in my ears.

Sometimes things are better left unsaid, sometimes it is better not to talk about some things. Of course I am not sure I know what those things that should be left unsaid are sometimes. And sometimes it is better not to talk about some things but some times I don't know what those things are. BUT, sometimes I do know what things should be left unsaid & I know when it is better not to talk about some things.

is busy zoning out. please leave a brief message & one of my personalities will get back to you as soon as possible. thanks again & have a great day! BEEEEEEEEP

Just for the record, I would NEVER hide anything from my girlfriend Jen L Graves. I tell her EVERYTHING & I plan on telling her anything & everything. I have no secrets from her & never have.

Some things I just don't like talking about. Some things are in the past & I don't like bringing them up. Some things are just better left in the past. Just saying.

I'm now kind of in a blah mood. Yeah blah.

Time for me to leave the world of Facebook for awhile. I need a break from it before my head explodes.

 

And then I got off Facebook. I figured it was time to get off of Facebook. I wasn’t exactly done posting messages and being my crazy self but my mood had totally got ruined by a certain someone. And then other things made it worse. Now I’m not in my crazy, funny, insane kind of mood anymore. My mood got totally ruined real quick. I tried not to let it be ruined but well, I lost that battle for sure. Oh well. It got ruined anyway. Well, now at this point I feel like I have caused problems. OR, no no no I got it, maybe “I” am the problem. I mean, the problems did finally leave, and they were thought to be gone, but then a whole bunch more problems took their place. This is probably because I am the problem. Yeah, maybe I am the problem.

May 24th Ramblings Of A Crazy Insomniac

I'm back Facebook. I figured I would get back on here. I have nothing else to do. No one else to talk to or ramble too. SO, maybe I will post status messages, maybe not. Not sure I really have anything to say right now. Hum, that might be a first for me.

Don't threaten me with a trip to the psych ward, they give you free drugs and a pretty white coat that makes you hug yourself... sounds good to me, how bout you?

May 24th started at 12am & it didn't start off bad at all. Everything was going good & pretty much normal except for me being my normal crazy self but come 4:30am or 5am everything suddenly went downhill & this day became completely shitty.

Crazy people don't know they are crazy, I know I am crazy so therefore I am not crazy, Isn't that crazy? Yeah, that is just crazy.

I've lost my mind. I know it's around here somewhere but to be completely honest I'm not looking for it terribly hard. Finding it would do me no good right now anyway.

I am running from the men in the white coats, who insist i escaped a facility. I don't know why I am running from them, they will probably give me that nice comfy jacket that lets me hug myself.

I'm glad there's music playing right now because if I had to sit in silence I would go crazy, or I would drive myself crazy. In which case, I would do either 2 things. I would go to sleep OR I would say fuck it & I would leave the house. Glad I am not having to sit in silence right now because I would totally go crazy. Even though I am kind of sitting in silence. You are sitting in silence if no one is talking.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I am not quite a genius and not quite insane so I must be very smart or very crazy

My imaginary friends had a talk with the voices in my head, who consulted with the dead people who follow me, they have agreed that we don't like you!!!!!!!!!!

People make fun of me for being crazy, they're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me & not them & they are jealous they don't have dead people following them around & they are jealous they don't have imaginary friends.

It's a beautiful day, I think I'll skip my meds and stir things up a bit. Oh wait, I already have. I am always causing "PROBLEMS". Well, guess I have always been a troublemaker. LOL. OR, I could be the "PROBLEM". Oh well, I have already stirred things up for today. Guess my work is done here.

If someone has MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES and their SUICIDAL, wouldn't it be considered as a HOSTAGE SITUATION?

Something tells me that this day isn't going to go as planned. Hum. I could be wrong but I doubt it. Yep, I think plans for the day have completely changed. Oh well, I can find something to get into I'm sure.

It's time to raise your glass to the loony, crazy people in your life that with their actions make you look sane.

Oh yeah, I just noticed. I am now sitting in complete silence. Oh I feel it coming on. Yep, I will definitely go insane or drive myself crazy. I see me going out of the house very shortly or in the near future.

The key to a HAPPY life is focusing your attention on the things you love, imagining you already have what you desire and being truly grateful for what you have

I got out of the house. That definitely helped. This day might not be so bad after all. As long as I don't fall asleep or anything. I can't be sleeping the day away. Fuck that.

Seriously, how the hell is my puppy Bella STILL hyper? She has been hyper ALL night, literally. And she has been running around all over the place with our cat Lilly. They are best buds & like to play but good lord, there is a time to finally calm down. They don't know when that time is though. I think its never, well, really, it is never.

IF YOU HAVE A SISTER WHO HAS MADE YOU LAUGH, STUCK UP FOR YOU, DROVE YOU CRAZY, HUGGED YOU, WATCHED YOU SUCCEED, SAW YOU FAIL, PICKED YOU BACK UP, CHEERED YOU ON, MADE YOU STRONG, AND IS SOMEONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT & SOMEONE YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON...... RE-POST THIS IF YOU HAVE A SISTER YOU LOVE! ♥

Did ya ever meet those people that make ya think ..You're just a fun little lollipop triple-dipped in psycho, aren't ya? I'm one of those people. I don't mind being one of those people, I am proud to be one of those people.

I'm not insane!!! I am voluntarily indifferent to conventional rationality. Besides, I like being mentally unbalanced, mentally challenged, and mentally unstable sometimes. At least I know I'm not normal, I'm a whole lot more fun.

I have been awake for 2 days. I've had insomnia & haven't been tired & just haven't felt like going to sleep. Yeah, I'm hyper right now.

WARNING 2 NEW FRIENDS: I have bipolar, ADHD, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, & Schizophrenia, so I'm a lil crazy, a lil insane, sometimes mentally unbalanced & mentally unstable & I post crazy statuses. After knowing all that now, you can decide whether you still want to be on my friends list. If not, then feel free to delete me. I don't care. Your choice.

WARNING 2 NEWLY ACCEPTED FRIENDS: I post a LOT of status messages. If this bothers you then feel free to delete me. If you get annoyed by all my statuses in your news feed then you can either hide my posts or feel free to delete me. Just thought I would warn you now because I'm currently in the mood to post status messages. You've been warned. So be prepared.

Oh BTW, if you don't like anything I say or anything I post then feel free to delete me that way it saves me time from deleting you. This is MY Facebook & I will write what I want when I want. Also if you don't like my opinions then once again, feel free to delete me.

I think after today my amount of friends just might go down. Especially after the amount of status messages I'm going to post. LOL. I'm in a status message posting kind of mood. If this bothers you, well, you know what to do. DELETE! But oh well, I don't care. You either love me or hate me, it is your choice. I've been this way my whole life. I've always been pretty much crazy & a little off my rocker.

By the way, some of the stuff I post might not make any sense to you but hey, sometimes I don't always make sense.

I keep forgetting that sometimes I'm walking on egg shells around some people. Damn, I got to remember that. It keeps slipping my mind. Shit, half the time I can't remember anything anyway.

Unicorns and Glitter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who doesn't love unicorns and glitter? Shiiiiit.

The other day we had a bad thunderstorm. It was pouring down rain. And it was thundering all loud but I loved it because I love the sound of thunder. To me that sound is soothing & calming & relaxing, at least to me it is. I just love thunderstorms & its even better when its lightning too.

The other day when we had the bad thunderstorm I was hoping that the electricity didn't go out but you know it, of course it did. It went out for like a minute & came back on but don't you know it fucked up our internet. Thank God the internet was only down for like 5 minutes. I would probably die without the internet.

If yall haven't heard of the website Listia then you should totally check it out. You get free stuff on the website & you can give away free stuff you don't want. Everything is FREE. You can get some really fucking cool stuff on that site. Almost anything that you can imagine is on Listia. http://www.listia.com/

Give & Get Free Stuff - Listia.com Auctions

www.listia.com

Listia is an auction site for Free Stuff where you bid on other people's items using credits instead of real money. We make it easy for users to get rid of stuff they don't need anymore and find stuff they want for free. Listia is a marketplace where people enjoy giving and getting items for free.

On Listia you get credits & the more credits you have the more free stuff you can get. You can earn credits in so many different ways, by listing an auction, by commenting on auctions, by linking your Facebook & Twitter accounts & more. Seriously go check out the website http://www.listia.com/

Give & Get Free Stuff - Listia.com Auctions

www.listia.com

Listia is an auction site for Free Stuff where you bid on other people's items using credits instead of real money. We make it easy for users to get rid of stuff they don't need anymore and find stuff they want for free. Listia is a marketplace where people enjoy giving and getting items for free.

Yes, if you are asking yourself have I been up all night and not been to sleep then the answer is yes. I am not the only one though. Jen L Graves has been awake all night too. LOL. Sometimes we just don't sleep because we are not tired.

If a friend lies to me, I don't like it, but it doesn't mean I'm going 2 stop bein their friend. I give people chances. If they lie to me once I give them another chance, lie 2 me twice & I just might rethink our friendship. All friendships have fights & issues & if the friendship is strong enough or worth fighting for then you get over it & don't hold grudges & you forgive.

I'm NOT 2 faced, never will b. If I got somethin 2 say I say it 2 ur face, not behind ur back. If u don't like the way I am or how I handle my friendships then u dont have 2 b my friend. Im not goin 2 stop bein some1's friend jus cos you stopped bein their friend. Thats not how I work. So if u have a problem wit that, u can take ur bullshit else where cos Im not dealin wit it!!!!

I hate being rushed. I try to get my shit straight before I walk out the door. Normally this doesn't happen cos I always forget something. I hope I can start getting it all together before I walk out the door because I hate being rushed out the door. I don't like being rushed with anything I do. I hate being rushed, so warning, don't ever try to rush me!!!

I hate wasting time. The past couple weeks I had been wasting my time and wasting time doing things. Don't want to waste my time anymore. I got too much to do to waste my time doing things that don't need to be done. And I end up wasting my time on things that don't need to be done. It has gotten a little better though. Not as bad as it was, I think I'm getting better. Thank God cos I hate wasting time.

Everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wonder what the reason is for some things that happen.

Why aren't some things in my life going the way I want them to? Why can't things go right for me the way I want them too? Damnit. Maybe this is some kind of punishment for something I have done. Who knows. Maybe this is karma. I hope not. Because Karma taking revenge on you is always a bad thing & ends up really biting you in the ass.

Damn, I'm all hyper today & wound up. And in a talkative mood & in a status message posting kind of mood. Lol. Can u tell? Lol

I took a slight break from status message posting as I left the house to go get some stuff. But I am back now. Oh yeah, I bet yall are just so happy to hear that. LOL.

Today started off good then ended up getting bad, hoped it would get better. Didn't think it would. But it has definitely gotten better. I am back in my happy place now.

I will go ahead & admit it, sometimes I jump to conclusions. I shouldn't, but I do. Sorry. Just how I am. One of my faults I guess. I will try my hardest not to jump to conclusions. I said I will try, can't guarantee anything. I doubt I will achieve this but all I can do is try.

I will always explain myself & my actions, well, almost always. Sometimes I don't need to explain myself or my actions, they should be self explanatory. However, there is a reason for everything I do, almost always a reason for everything that I do, that I can think of. Yeah, almost always. Can't think of a time there wasn't a reason for something I did. Um, yeah, don't think there has been a time.

Sometimes it takes awhile to realize who your true friends are. Those are the ones who always stick by you. The ones who are always there for you. The ones who listen to what you have to say & give advice. The ones who always stick up for you & have your back. True friends don't ignore you & they don't stop talking to you & they don't act like you don't exist. That is my definition anyway.

Sometimes you might think I ask too many questions. I'm sorry if I do this around you & it annoys you. Obviously I ask questions because I want to know the answer. If I ask you questions its because I think you're smart & know the answer to my question. And that's my explanation to why I ask so many questions.

I wonder about people, I question their motives. I wished people were as blunt & as honest as me. If you're my friend, I ask for honesty. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so. I think every friend wants honesty in a friendship. If you're my friend, be honest, even if it upsets me, hurts me or pisses me off. If you're a true friend & our friendship is important enough & strong enough then we can work through it.

If you got something to say about me then have the balls & say it to my face. Don't go talk shit behind my back because I'll eventually find out, I almost always do. Just say it to my face, speak your mind.

Got something to say about me, then say it to my face. Don't act like you're talking about someone else when you're really talking about me because I'm not stupid, I know you're talking about me. Say it to my face. I won't get mad. I like people who speak their mind & say it to my face, this shows me you're not a coward.

I've been thinking about a lot lately. Lots of things have been running through my mind. Not bad things. Just thinking about different things that I haven't taken the time to really think about before. Glad I have had the time recently to think about these things.

I think in a way I am kind of addicted to Listia. I love this website. I think I might be addicted. LOL. Maybe not as addicted as Jen L Graves. LOL. Just kidding baby. Its a fun website. Just like Ebay but a whole lot better & all items on Listia are FREE!!!! http://www.listia.com/

Give & Get Free Stuff - Listia.com Auctions

www.listia.com

Listia is an auction site for Free Stuff where you bid on other people's items using credits instead of real money. We make it easy for users to get rid of stuff they don't need anymore and find stuff they want for free. Listia is a marketplace where people enjoy giving and getting items for free.

YOU DON'T LOOK SICK!!! No I don't. It's hard to explain to someone when they have no clue. It's a daily struggle feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Please put this as your status if you or someone you know has an invisible illness (Anxiety, Bi-Polar, P.T.S.D., LUPUS, Fibromyalgia, Crohns, Diabetes, Arthritis, Chronic Back Pain, Epilepsy, MS, Depression, Schizophrenia). Don't Judge!

I have been very talkative lately. All I want to do is talk because I have lots to say. I have been talking non stop at certain times. Not to mention the fact that I have been posting a million status messages. Its just because I have a lot to say. I've just been way too talkative. LOL.

Honestly, I stopped caring what people thought about me. I didn't really care before what people thought about me & I definitely don't care now what people think of me. With that said, if you read any of my statuses & think I'm crazy then, I just might be crazy. Of course, that would be your opinion. You can think what you want about me. I'm not exactly crazy but I'm not exactly normal either.

I had a conversation with my cat, only to stop to realize what I was doing. I stopped myself cos I realized I was having a conversation with my cat like I would have with an actual person. I thought I actually had lost it. At the time, I didn't think it seemed very normal to have a conversation with a cat. But now, I think maybe it is normal to talk to your cat, even if you are having a conversation with it. LOL.

I hate some of the FB Event invites I get. I read ALL the info on the events. Some info just absolutely makes no sense at all. Words in the info are misspelled or they have improper grammar. Anyone who creates a FB Event needs to seriously read the info they write to make sure it makes sense & they need to check their grammar & spelling before posting the event. Its not that hard, pretty simple really.

I have not slept since I don't know when and I don't plan on sleeping any time soon at all. I am not one bit tired, I am not even close to being tired, not even a little bit, not even the slightest bit.

I always end up having such a problem wording things right & correctly by my standards. This sucks for me because that means when I'm writing something it takes me so much longer to actually put all the words together & in the right place. That's why it takes me so long to reply to comments. That & the fact that I end up writing a book.

Damn, seriously some things take me way too long to do. Even though they shouldn't take me as long as they do.

A friend sent me a forwarded text message that said the world is supposed to end on May 21st. Wow, really? That's the first I had heard about it. Well, sorry that is incorrect because the world hasn't ended & I'm still alive.

Does anyone know why everyone was talking about the world ending on May 21st? Who all of a sudden said that the world was going to end on May 21st? Was it on the news or something? And why was the world supposed to end on May 21st? I've always heard that the world is going to end in 2012. Does anyone know the answer to this or know where I can find out the answer to this? I'm just curious is all.

‎5 DEADLY TERMS USED BY A WOMAN :
(1) FINE -this is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.
(2) NOTHING -means SOMETHING & u need to be WORRIED
(3) GO AHEAD -this is a dare not permission DO NOT DO IT.
(4) WHATEVER -is a woman's way of saying F**K YOU.
(5) THAT'S OK -she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.

Did I ever mention how much I dislike the Westboro Baptist Church? YES, I dislike them. They're a church that teaches & spreads hate. They even teach their children to hate & have their children singing songs titled "God Hates The World". Children as young as 1 & 2 years old are being taught to hate. If you learn more about them you will think they are much like a cult. I see them as a cult.

I could go on forever about Westboro Baptist Church. I've done research on them. Even though they're a church, they're very much like a cult. I've done LOTS of research on them & watched many YouTube videos about them. Before I knew what they were all about, they interested me so I did research on them. But now that I know what they are all about & what they stand for, I have come to dislike the group.

I'll probably be putting up more items for auction on my Listia profile. Go check out what I got up for auction & bid on them if you're interested & want them. I auction everything from t-shirts to baseball cards to DVDS to tools & much much more. All the items I put up for auction are FREE!! http://www.listia.com/profile/447567

Give & Get Free Stuff - Listia.com Auctions

www.listia.com

Listia is an auction site for Free Stuff where you bid on other people's items using credits instead of real money. We make it easy for users to get rid of stuff they don't need anymore and find stuff they want for free. Listia is a marketplace where people enjoy giving and getting items for free.

Flooding seems to be the big problem for many people all around the United States. I must say that I am actually glad that our area hasn't gotten any flooding. We have gotten rain but not any flooding that I know of. I feel bad for those people across the US that have gotten flooding though.

I see the soul as the center of my existence.

I posted blogs on Jen L Graves Blogger about items she had listed for auction onListia. Trying to help her get more credits. Not every item of her's is shown on Blogger, only a couple items so you could get an idea of what kind of stuff she has up for auction. http://msjengraves-jensblog.blogspot.com/

Jen's Blog

msjengraves-jensblog.blogspot.com

Jen L Graves & I have been up for 2 days. We're both cranky & irritable. Our animals are working our last nerves. They're either running all over the house, fighting, or getting into something. Jen & I have very little patience right now. They've been like this since last night. We just want them to calm down & take a break. I hope they do settle down eventually.

I would like to note that the status message about me & Jen L Graves not sleeping for 2 days took me more then 5 minutes to write. I had a hard time wording it right & I had a hard time putting the words in the right place & I kept going back & re-reading it to make sure it sounded right. This irritates the shit out of me. It shouldn't take like 10 minutes to write a status message. Ugh.

I just wanted to say that I love Jen L Graves so very much, even if she doesn't always believe me when I tell her. She means so very much to me. I wish I could show her how much she means to me & how much I love her. I hope one day she realizes how much I love her & how much she means to me. She is my everything, my world, my reason for existence.

And, for the record, NO, Jen L Graves & I have not yet been to sleep. Don't feel like going to sleep. We have been up for like 2 days or something. It all started off with insomnia & after that it seems that insomnia never disappeared.

If you're asking yourself if I have gone to sleep yet then the answer is NO. I have not been to sleep at all. Been up for like 2 days or something. Got to love insomnia, of course until it makes you become delirious. I have not gotten to that point yet, I don't think.

9 out of 10 voices in my head say i am insane, the tenth is having a case of ADHD & isn't quite paying attention because it is too busy arguing with the dead people that follow me around.

The evil demons under my bed argued with the monsters in my closet until the voices in my head made them stop...WHAT A NIGHT

I think I would know if i was insane! My cats would have told me by now if I was. They tell me everything you know. I talk to them a lot. I talk to them when I have no one else to talk to. I have conversations with them to. Here's a secret: They actually talk back to me. They don't think I'm insane, they told me so.

Slight irregularities in my personality are NOT to be considered flaws, but show that I am hand-made & of the highest quality. Yes I'm a little weirder, stranger, & mentally unbalanced then most but I like to just say I am unique and special.

Yes, I talk to myself...YES, I answer myself...Yes, I might be insane, BUT, at least my answers are NEVER wrong! And thankfully, I have never gotten in an argument with myself. I am already confused enough & if I got in an argument with myself I would be even more confused, not to mention the headache I would have.

Tried to go to my happy place earlier but ended up having a case of Adhd & I got totally distracted then forgot what I was doing & then ended up getting lost and ended up here on Facebook. Oh well at least yall know me here.

i'm insane in the membrane Jen L Graves

I went to apply for a job at a mental asylum & they told me I have to spend 5 hours with a crazy person. I told them that I've spent 30 years with myself & don't you know, they handed me an application to fill out & asked when I'd like to do an interview.

OK, let me get something straight here ... You're calling me crazy, mentally challenged, mentally unstable, insane, & mentally unbalanced like it's a BAD THING?

I'm sitting in a corner watching my imaginary friends fight the shadows on the wall. I do believe my imaginary friends won cos they've stabbed to death the shadows on the wall because blood is dripping down the wall. Ohhhh how exciting, I love blood and gore.

Okay call me crazy, mentally unstable, insane, mad, mentally challenged, off my rocker, & mentally unbalanced if you want but if you don't stop I'm going to send the dead people that follow me & my imaginary friends after you to teach you a lesson. They have very sharp knives & they like to stab people. You SHOULD be scared, you will be scared after they get a hold of you!!

4 out of 5 voices are telling me to do it. The other one is yelling at me in German! Just because my dad was born in Ulm, Germany does not mean that I can speak German or understand German. Damn you voice, speak in ENGLISH!!!

Well today was another hard day, my imaginary friends were running with very long sharp knives towards the dead people that follow me who had machetes & they started stabbing each other & of course blood & guts went all over the place & the voices in my head were fighting with themselves & I just couldn't get no peace & quiet, & I'm still missing my helmet & crayons.

One of the voices called me weird, so I started cussing at in German. This surprised me. I didn't even know I spoke German.

I'm medicated for your protection & safety!!!!!

Psycho is just another way of saying "adorable with knives". And oh how I do love my knife collection. I like to stab things. My favorite thing to stab is my voodoo doll.

STAGES OF INSANITY:
1. Talks to self
2. Argues with self
3. Loses argument with self
4. Is no longer talking with self
Hummmm, I do all these things now. I'm currently going through the stages of insanity.

The voices in my head were arguing again, they been arguing all day, so I told them that if they didn't shut the hell up & give me some peace & quiet that I was gonna shove cotton balls in my ears so I couldn't hear them anymore.

I'm not insane!!! I am voluntarily indifferent to conventional rationality. Besides, I like being mentally unbalanced, mentally challenged, and mentally unstable sometimes. At least I know I'm not normal, I'm a whole lot more fun.

Okay, maybe I'm done posting status messages. Well, really, when am I ever really done posting status messages? I haven't slept in days, I am hyper & I've had lots of Mountain Dew, tons of caffeine & sugar all day long. LOL. I am talking non stop & just can't seem to shut up. LOL. But I don't want to shut up anyway, I have lots to say.

You know, I was thinking about it & I should come up with my own status shuffle because I come up with way better status messages then they have on there & my status messages are way more entertaining & more realistic & more true.

All the status messages I posted were all true by the way. I DO hear voices & dead people DO actually follow me around. Kind of scary isn't it? LOL. Hey what can I say? I have Schizophrenia, I'm bound to be a little crazy & insane.

I've been neglecting Listia all day, so its time to click over to the tab at the top of my screen that has Listia on it & see what's going on over there. I'm sure I'll have tons of emails & comments. This means I'm taking a break from posting statuses. Damn, I thought I just heard people cheering. Maybe I'm hearing things or it could be the voices in my head arguing again.

Monday, May 23, 2011

May 23rd & Insomnia Kicked In Last Night

These are random status messages starting at the beginning of May 23rd around 12:30am. I was up then, I hadn’t gone to sleep and I actually didn’t sleep at all last night. Insomnia kicked my ass last night. I did start getting tired or maybe didn’t start getting tired but started feeling tired and feeling like I wanted to go to sleep but at the same time I didn’t want to go to sleep. I wanted to stay awake with my girlfriend Jen because she wasn’t going to sleep & wasn’t tired. So I stayed up last night, insomnia had kicked in anyway so I couldn’t sleep anyway. Anyways, read below for my random status messages. Welcome to the world of Bean. I am a random, sometimes crazy, a little off my rocker, hyper, very talkative, person. Enjoy.

It is now a new day. It is 12:37am on 23 May 2011. Hum what will today bring me? We shall see. Let's just hope today isn't a crappy day. So far so good though.

I don't know exactly how I am going to react or what I am going to do when I run out of cigarettes. I did say I was going to quit. I am trying to quit but I just can't quit cold turkey. That didn't work for me last time. So obviously that won't work for me again, at least I don't think. I don't want to waste my money buying another pack tho if I am not going to smoke them. Hum what to do?

I love it when I can't think of something & Jen L Graves says it for me. We were talking about movies being prejudiced & I told her I wanted to buy a movie but couldn't think of the name of it & she said American History X. That was exactly the movie I was thinking of & talking about. She totally finished my sentence. Don't think I am prejudice after reading this tho, I just love Edward Furlong.

I am putting up more items for auction on my Listia auction site. Listia is a website that you get credits & you can use those credits to bid on items & get them for free. You can also give away things you don't want anymore & recieve credits for them. Go check out what I got & bid on them if you want them.http://www.listia.com/profile/447567

I have 1 cigarette left. Dum dum dum dum. LOL. I don't have the urge to smoke it yet though. So that is a good thing. I think when I do run out of cigarettes I am going to take Faline Jordan's idea and dip my snuff that I got. The Camel Snus. I got like 3 tins of that stuff. Hey its nicotine. Might not be the same as my Camel Menthol's but its close.

It is 1:31am and I would like to say that I am glad that Karen Hutto is still awake. Thanks for commenting on my status messages Karen. I am glad you are still awake.

Jen L Graves Baby, thanks for staying up with me. I am glad you haven't fell asleep. I love you so much.

Amanda Rittenhouse Lucian & Faline Jordan I am glad yall are still awake. It is nice talking with yall. LOL. Yall crack me up. LOL.

Karen Hutto Thanks so much for commenting on all the status's I have posted tonight and thanks for replying to my comments. You have actually been talkative tonight. I am glad. Thanks Karen.

You know, I wouldn't mind as much about posting new auctions on Listia if it wasn't for the pictures uploading so slow. Wouldn't you agree baby Jen L Graves?

Pretty sure that insomnia has came to visit me tonight. It is 1:53am and I am still awake and so is my sexy ass girlfriend Jen L Graves

Amanda Rittenhouse Lucian Damn girl, you have just became friends with a LOT of people. LOL. You seem to be popular, everyone is sending you friend requests. LOL.

I totally want to get rid of stuff & I am taking everyone's advice about checking shipping prices of stuff but I still hope I don't end up screwing myself. I'm hoping I don't and I'm going to just try not to think that I am going too. I should just have a freaking yard sale. For real. Well, we still have plenty of stuff to put in the yard sale.

Its 2:17am. Could Karen Hutto possibly still be awake? Hum, I guess if I get a comment to this I will know. LOL.
Karen Hutto lol, hi. I'm about to head to bed actually

Yes I am still listing items up for auction on my Listia site profile. My girlfriend, Jen L Graves gave me lots to list up for auction. LOL.

Well, I don't have THAT many items to list on Listia. I thought there were more items then there really is. MY gf Jen L Graves just took more than 1 pic of each item. Thanks baby, this will help me get rid of the item better. You rock. I love you so much.

I love me & my gf Jen L Graves cat Chloe. She's so adorable. She is 17 pounds. She is so freaking adorable though. She is cuddly. She always lays next to me on the couch. I always grab her & give her kisses then she ends up growling at me & giving me the evil eye but I do it anyway. LOL. She is laying next to me right now all spread out on her back waiting for her stomach to be rubbed. LOL.

Jen L Graves looks so absolutely gorgeous & beautiful right now. And her eyes look so amazing & sparkly & beautiful. And I love her smile & her dimples & I totally think she needs to smile more often. I love her so very much. She means so much to me. I love you baby.

Me & Jen L Graves 5 month anniversary is coming up in a couple days. On the 25th to be exact. And here some people said we wouldn't make it very long yet we have made it basically 5 months. Guess those some people were wrong. I love you baby.

Don't know why Facebook chat goes from online to having the person being offline. Strange.

I think I'm starting to get tired. Yet I still have auctions to list. I better hurry up and post these auctions before I fall asleep. For sure.

It is 3 am and Bella is all wound up and hyper. LOL. She chooses the wrong times to be hyper especially since it is so late. It is time for her to calm down because everyone else meaning the neighbors are sleeping & she can't be hyper & make lots of noise. I hate living in an apartment sometimes. Oh well.

Last cigarette has been smoked out of the pack I had. I now have no more cigarettes. Not sure if I am going to buy another pack. I'm thinking I am going to since I don't want to just quit cold turkey. I have been doing good slowly weening myself off cigarettes. I think I'm doing a good job. I'm surprised at myself.

It is 3:33am & from what I can tell according to Facebook chat it looks like me &Jen L Graves aren't the only ones that are still awake at this hour. Apparently Jonathan Crist & William Gardner are also up at this hour too. LOL. Me & Jen have insomnia most of the time or just don't want to go to sleep. LOL.

Its 4:07am and I thought I would wake up a little bit yet I still feel tired. I kind of feel like I could go to sleep. I don't exactly want to go to sleep but I might end up going to sleep. Especially since I am out of cigarettes. If I'm asleep I can't crave a cigarette. So yeah.

I love you baby Jen L Graves. Mwahz. XOXOXO.

Oh yeah, I can see now that not having any cigarettes at this moment is going to be harder than I thought. Shit if I was staying busy I wouldn't be craving a damn cigarette so bad. Of course, I could get off my ass & get busy cleaning. But then there is always the thing of if I get up & move too much I'll get out of breath or not be able to catch my breath. Hence why I was quitting smoking. I'm frustrated right now.

You know, some people's names here on Facebook are very strange or should I say out of the ordinary. They are obviously not people's real names. What I want to know is where do these people come up with these names?

Seriously, where do some people come up with the names that they have on Facebook? If some of the names actually happen to be the person's real name then wow, I kind of feel sorry for them that their parents named them that. I feel sorry for the one's who have strange or otherwise odd last names.

Happy Birthday Tony "Smoke" Stewart. The big 4-0. Hope you had a great birthday & it was everything you had expected. Keep on smiling because we all love your smile.

Wish Tony Stewart a happy birthday! Fan Zone: Office Depot Racing

Source: http://www.officedepotracing.com/Fan-Zone/

Wish Tony Stewart a Happy Birthday. The Office Depot Racing Website. A real kick ass Tony Stewart website. http://www.officedepotracing.com/Fan-Zone/

Wish Tony Stewart a happy birthday! Fan Zone: Office Depot Racing

www.officedepotracing.com

Office Depot celebrates its seventh year in NASCAR racing and its third year as co-primary sponsor of NASCAR driver Tony Stewart' s No. 14 Chevrolet.

I must say that I do love Kasey Kahne, Tony Stewart & Denny Hamlin. Yet, I haven't even checked out anything about Denny Hamlin yet since I been on here. I have been checking on stuff about Kasey & Tony. LOL. Not that I favor them two over Denny. All three of them are my favs. I admit Kasey is my most favorite though.

I have always said that I love my girlfriend Jen L Graves & will continue to always say that. But I just want to make a note of how sweet she is & how caring she is. I am kind of having a hard time with this whole quitting smoking & I ran out of cigarettes & she was smoking & gave me half of her cigarette. She is so thoughtful. Thanks baby for giving me the rest of your cigarette.

So I had run out of cigarettes and was craving a cigarette but my baby Jen L Graves shared a cigarette with me. She is so thoughtful & always thinks about me. I love her so very much. She is so sweet.

Can someone tell me what the hell is up with my friends being tagged in photo album's recently & the picture being "tagged in" is a picture of a girl like half naked & it has a description with a link. Can any of my friend's tell me what is up with that? Are yall friends with this person or is that a virus?

Jen L Graves I'm not sure if it is a virus or not but if I get tagged in an album of a girl half naked then I don't know why. 2 of my friends have gotten tagged in an album of a girl half naked & it has a link to go to some website. I think its a virus but I'm not sure. If I get tagged in some album then be aware that this is apparently going around Facebook. Okay baby.

Well, it is 5:17am & it is basically almost the morning & the start of a new fresh day. I actually managed to stay awake all night with my baby Jen L Graves. I am surprised I made it all night, only because I was actually starting to get tired or feel tired there at one point.

It is 5:19am & WHSV - TV 3 Daybreak news is going to be coming on soon if it hasn't already come on. I kind of want to watch it because there is supposed to be some big news from Governor McDonnell about Staunton, Virginia. Thanks Jen L Graves for turning the news on for me baby. I'm interested to know what the big news is for staunton virginia.

Sorry baby Jen L Graves that you had to turn off your music. As soon as the news from the Governor comes on then you can turn off the TV. Okay baby. I do want to listen to your music. I'm in a music kind of mood. But I'm interested in the big news for Staunton, Virginia.

Just had another half of Jen L Graves cigarette. Kind of feel a little light headed. My body is used to a lot of nicotine. My body is used to me smoking a lot of cigarettes a lot of the time. I smoke like a pack a day, however since Saturday I haven't smoked as much as I normally do. I had 3 cigs Saturday & like 5 or so cigs Sunday. And have had 1 cig & 2 halfs of 2 cigs today so far.

I think if I stay busy & active that quitting smoking will be easy for me. I stayed busy Saturday & ended up ONLY smoking 3 cigs. SO, I just need to keep staying busy & active. If I do that then I shouldn't have a problem with quitting smoking. Just need to have the will power to do it though. I think I will be able to do it. I had made up mind Saturday that enough was enough.

Okay so the big news wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be. It didn't really say anything. Apparently Governor McDonnell is keeping his big news hush hush until later today. At least that's what I got from the news. So guess this means I will have to watch the news at 6pm on WHSV - TV 3 to find out what the big news was all about.

Flooding seems to be the big problem for many people all around the United States. I must say that I am actually glad that our area hasn't gotten any flooding. We have gotten rain but not any flooding that I know of. I feel bad for those people across the US that have gotten flooding though.

Oh lord, apparently the state police are kicking off their Click It Or Tick It campaign so that means everyone better make sure they have their seat belt on. When I drive I ALWAYS have on my seat belt. However sometimes when I am the passenger I forget to put on my seatbelt. With that said, I am definitely going to remember from now on to ALWAYS wear my seat belt no matter what now.

Okay so me & Jen L Graves cat Daphne just scared the crap outta me. She jumped from a box to the couch. LOL. I wasn't expecting her to do all that now. I didn't even see her in the room. Its like she came out of nowhere. LOL

Its sad that I have to use a magnifying glass to read the writing on certain things. And I do this EVEN with my glasses on. Hum, I wonder what this means. Either I am getting old & blind or my glasses need a higher prescription. OR it could just mean that the writing is in very small print & even a person with good eyes wouldn't be able to read it. Who knows.

I feel bad for me & Jen L Graves cat Daphne. We try & give her love & attention but she is skiddish & scared acting. When you go to pet her she ducks down like she's afraid. I don't know why she does this. Poor kitty. I feel bad for her. She is a pretty dark gray Siamese cat. She is sweet when she wants to be & only likes attention when she wants it.

The night has been pretty good, even though me & Jen L Graves haven't been to sleep. It was a night filled with music. We stayed up playing on our computers listening to music & in my case, posting status messages.

I don't how warm it is outside but I am inside & I am cold. Its chilly, my arms are cold & I have a blanket on my legs. Apparently I had the window open all night. This could be one reason I am cold. The fan has been on all night though & I think the air conditioner might have been on. Oh well. This is my fault that I'm cold cos I'm cold natured.

Me & Jen L Graves puppy Bella just had to throw it up in my face that I am out of cigarettes LOL because she brought me my empty pack of cigarettes in her mouth. I should have probably gotten up a long time ago & threw the empty pack in the trash can. My fault. LOL. Bella probably would have chewed on it if I hadn't taken it away from her. LOL.

Okay so it is 7:05am and that is what I got for now for May 23rd. I am sure, almost positive there will be more later. LOL. Have fun reading.

May 23rd More Ramblings Of An Insomniac

No, I will not click LIKE on air conditioning. Stupid thing popped up on the side of my screen. I will NOT click like on that. I HATE air conditioning. LOL. I am cold natured. Air conditioning and me = freezing to death. LOL.

Jen L Graves and I are waiting for the mail to come. We are praying that what we want to come in the mail will come in the mail. We can always hope & pray. LOL. Things don't always seem to go our way. Maybe it will this time. Who knows.

I am glad that my girlfriend Jen L Graves loves music as much as I do. She is ripping music to her laptop right now. This means we will have more music to listen too. Hell yeah.

The Light Within, hummm that sounds like a good title for a poem, maybe a good title for a song, maybe not a song but definitely a good title for a poem. It might already be a title for a poem. Who knows.

I see the soul as the center of my existence.

At the center of my being & in the center of my heart there is light, love & divine spirit.

I know & feel that I am tapped into an infinite source of spiritual energy.

It allows me to see life as more then just a collection of random circumstances.

When I turn my back on this energy of light, I live in relative darkness.

Life seems meaningless and uninspired. It is light that gives definition, shape and form.

It allows me to see the beauty that surrounds me. I have divine light within me.

Okay so that was some random philosophical status messages for you below

Chloe & Daphne have been up most of the night too, they took catnaps a little part of the night but they didn't sleep real long. And they are still awake. Of course they have bathed themselves & now they are just sitting around. Oh wait, I was wrong, Daphne has fallen to sleep. LOL. Chloe is wide awake however. She don't miss a thing. LOL.

Well damn, I haven't posted a status in an hour? LOL. I was busy posting blogs onJen L Graves blog page. Trying to help her with her Listia & help her get credits. I didn't post all the items she has for auction but I posted like over 10 items so that should get her going for now. She has at least 10 blogs up now.http://msjengraves-jensblog.blogspot.com/

Jen's Blog

msjengraves-jensblog.blogspot.com

I seriously think not having a cigarette is making my head hurt. I mean I know I haven't been to sleep yet but my head don't normally hurt if I haven't had sleep. I think my head hurts because I haven't had a cigarette in awhile. PLUS I haven't been smoking like my body is used too. WOW. I'm so going to try not to think about it right now. My body isn't forgetting it though.

Seriously, Listia can be a fun website & its great that you get free stuff. But really, I don't think its really worth all the headache posting auctions & giving away free stuff because people bitch about shipping costs being too high & items not having free shipping. I think I'm going to seriously delete all the stuff I have up for auction that hasn't been bid on yet.

You know I try to be nice to people but then they are rude & that pisses me off & that only causes me to be rude back. If people weren't such a smartass & didn't ask stupid questions then I wouldn't be so rude to them.

And, for the record, NO, I have not yet been to sleep. Don't feel like going to sleep.

You know I have been trying to be nice to people on Listia yet they are still rude to me. I have been trying to be nice & work with people. Yet they want to be mean & rude & difficult. I'm thinking bout saying fuck Listia & be done with the website. For real.

Going to meet Sara Moats in the park. Peace out for now.

What do you do when you got stuff to do, there's stuff you need to do but you just don't have the energy to do it. You just don't feel like doing it. Even if you try to make yourself do it you just can't seem to get it done? I'm tired of not having any energy. I got so much to do but can't up the energy to do it. I don't know what is wrong with me. Ugh. Blah.

Life is blah right now to me. So much is just crazy for me right now. I feel like I am in a funk. Hopefully this will all change very soon. Tired of feeling the way I have been feeling lately.

Okay I got some food in me & I got some cigarettes. I feel better now. Now all I need to do is focus & concentrate & get what I need to get done finished. I can do this.

If you are asking yourself if I have gone to sleep yet then the answer is NO. I have not been to sleep at all. Didn't sleep last night and didn't sleep today.

Jen L Graves How much clearer do I have to make it that nothing is your fault. I haven't been feeling the way I been feeling because of you. If I would take my medicine EVERY night like I am supposed too then I just might be okay. This is MY fault.

Wow, it really is 10:56om. WOW. I didn't realize it was quite that late. Well, maybe that's not late but it definitely didn't feel like no 11 o'clock. Damn today sure has gone by fast.

‎9 out of 10 voices in my head say i am insane, the tenth is having a severe ADHD moment & isn't quite paying attention because it is too busy singing Marilyn Manson's Beautiful People.

The evil demons under my bed argued with the monsters in my closet until the voices in my head made them stop...WHAT A NIGHT

I think i would know if i was insane! My cats would have told me by now if i was. They tell me everything you know? I talk to them, shoot, I actually have conversations with them. Here's a secret, they actually talk back to me. They don't think I'm insane.

slight irregularities in my personality are NOT to be considered flaws, but show that I am hand-made and of the highest quality. Yes I am a little weirder & stranger then most but I like to just say I am unique.

Yes, I talk to myself...YES, I answer myself... Yes, I might be insane, BUT, at least my answers are NEVER wrong! And thankfully, I have never gotten in an argument with myself. I am already confused enough & if I got in an argument with myself boy would I be confused, not to mention the headache I would have.

Dun-dee-dun. Being psycho's fun.
Dun-dee-dun. I think you'd better run.
Doo-bee-doo. I'm coming for you.
Doo-bee-doo. With a sledge hammer, too.

tried to go to my happy place today..but ended up having a case of ADHD & I got totally distracted then forgot what I was doing & then ended up getting lost and ended up here on Facebook. oh well at least yall know me here.

i'm insane in the membrane

i went to apply for a job at a mental asylum and they told me i have to spend 5 hours with a crazy person. i told them that i've spent 30 years with myself & don't you know, they handed me an application to fill out & asked when I'd like to do an interview.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

22 May 2011 More Craziness From Bean

So far what I have had to say today. I didn’t start off in a talkative mood, I don’t think. But from what it looks like I am in a talkative mood. At least my best friend Karen Hutto would say that I am in a talkative mood. LOL. That is what she said earlier. LOL.


‎5 DEADLY TERMS USED BY A WOMAN :
(1) FINE -this is the word women use to end an argument when they know they are RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.
(2) NOTHING -means SOMETHING & u need to be WORRIED
(3) GO AHEAD -this is a dare not permission DO NOT DO IT.
(4) WHATEVER -is a woman's way of saying F**K YOU.
(5) THAT'S OK -she is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.

Maybe I am serious about quitting smoking. Who knows. I do know that I have gotten very irritated & tired of not being able to breathe as well as I used to be able too & I am tired of not being able to catch my breath. Maybe I am only having those symptoms cos I'm sick. Either way, I think its time I quit smoking.

It was a nice day yesterday so I went to mom & dad's and helped mom take the trash to the dump. However, I didn't know that mom was going to have as much trash as she did. Its all good. I didn't mind but I just got out of breath trying to throw the trash into the dumpster. Guess being sick has taken away my energy.

Today was a nice day & I decided that I needed to get out of the house before I went crazy. I hate wasting days inside the house when it is nice outside. So I went to mom & dad's and me & mom went shopping & got something to eat. I should still be out enjoying this day instead of being on the computer. Not sure what to do tho. Maybe I should take Bella to the park & get us both some exercise. That's a good idea.

I smoked ONLY 3 cigarettes yesterday. ONLY 3. For me that isn't normal. Everyone that knows me really knows that I smoke almost a whole pack a day. I have ONLY smoked like 4 cigarettes today. Yeah, I think I might be serious about quitting smoking this time.

Damn, I go away from the computer for a couple days & I come back & I have 178 unread e-mails in my Yahoo Email box. Damn. And, I had 8 unread messages on my Listia account. Maybe I shouldn't stay away from the computer for so long.

Still not so sure about what shipping costs will be on items that I have up for auction. Don't want to overcharge but don't want to undercharge and then end up having to pay out of my pocket for shipping costs. It seems like its one of those you are damned if you do and damned if you don't kind of situations.

Karen posted a link onto my Facebook Wall. See it below.

Karen Hutto

Westboro Baptist Church Raises $50K for Gay Rights (VIDEO)

thestir.cafemom.com

They didn't mean to, but finally the hate mongers of Westboro Baptist Church made a positive contribution to humankind. Because of them, $50,000 ...

Angela Bean

OMG OMG OMG OMG...........Karen Hutto you are fucking awesome. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.........THANK YOU for posting this on my wall. This is fucking awesome. I totally fucking hate the Westboro Baptist Church. They are nothing but a psycho fucking cult. I watched this video and was like hell yeah and I got all excited and started screaming real loud that I loved being gay then I started singing that I was queer and took it in the rear, then I was like wait, I don't take it in the rear but I'm still gay so hell yeah.......lol....

Karen Hutto I knew you'd like this.

Angela Bean

Karen Hutto I TOTALLY LOVED this. LOVED IT!!!! Thank you so so so very much for posting that on my Facebook wall. Thank you. You are definitely my best friend, I've always said this and told you this but I just want to tell you again that you are definitely my best friend and have always been for like 17 plus years. You definitely know how to put me in a better mood. Seriously when I saw that link and went to it and watched the video I said everything I told you but I forgot to mention that I got all excited when I was watching the video. I was suddenly even more proud to be gay when I saw that video. I have always been proud to be gay but I was actually shouting it even though it is like late at night kind of and yeah I got neighbors and the walls are thin so yeah I am sure they heard me saying how I take it in the rear LOL, that is also why I screamed wait I don't take it in the rear but I sure as hell am glad to be gay. LOL. Did you understand anything I just said? LOL. I tried to say it right. LOL. Oh well, hopefully you will know what I meant. Anyways, long story short. Thank you for posting that link on my wall. I totally appreciate it. You always find the good stuff to post on my wall. Thank you so so so so very much once again. Keep all the good stuff coming. Thanks so much karen.

Karen Hutto I understood. And it looks like you are in a talkative mood again, lol..

Angela Bean

Damn, you know Karen Hutto, I do believe you are right. I am in a talkative mood again. Yesterday I wasn't in a talkative mood but I am in a talkative mood again or at least at the moment. LOL. My bad. LOL. That's what happens when you have ADHD. lol. I am glad you are still my friend after all these years even though I talk non stop and always run my mouth and never seem to shut up. LOL. Love ya best friend. Thanks for being my best friend after all these years.

Karen Hutto LOL. and by the way, I just heard the DJ on WNRN say that there is a severe thunderstorm warning for Augusta county, so be careful.

Angela Bean I am sitting here in my living room in staunton virginia and I have the window open and all I hear is constant thunder. It has been thundering for like 10 minutes now. I don't know if there is lightning but I have heard thunder for like 10 minutes now.

That was the link Karen posted on my Facebook Wall along with the comments underneath the link. LOL. I was excited when I got the link.

Read below for more random, crazy status messages that I had posted today so far. LOL. It is 11:48pm so the 22nd is almost over. I have a little longer to post more status messages. LOL.

 

Did I ever mention how fucking stupid Westboro Baptist Church is? YES, they are stupid. They totally suck. I swear, seriously, they are a cult. Wouldn't you agree Karen Hutto?
Karen Hutto Yep. All they do is spread hate and that is wrong.

Angela Bean Karen Hutto Yes they do spread hate. I just explained to Jen L Graves a little bit about Westboro Baptist Church and why I think they are a cult and why I don't like them. I tried to explain it to her without taking forever trying to explain it but yeah. Seriously, I could go on and on and on about the church because when I first found out about Westboro Baptist Church I did a LOT of research on them and watched like EVERY video on YouTube about Westboro Baptist Church. I don't think I ever told you Karen about the video I found that one Westboro Baptist Church member made. It was a video of I'm assuming their child and in the video this child was singing a song but I don't remember the name of the song, I'm guessing the song was called "God Hates The World". The little child that had to be about 2 years old or around that age started singing "God hates the world and all the people in it" Well after that little bit I decided I had heard enough and watched enough of the video and didn't need to watch anymore of it. I had decided that yeah the Westboro Baptist Church was brainwashing their kids into hating people. Wouldn't you think that is what they are doing to their kids? That is what I got from the video that I watched of that little child singing that song. You should be able to find the video on YouTube because that is where I watched it but I don't know the exact name of the video. The day I watched that video I had watched so many freaking videos about Westboro Baptist Church and that was like 5 or 6 months ago that I had watched that video and I am sure there are many more videos about the church now. If I get time I will go and search the video so you can watch it and see what I am talking about. It is ridiculous that they are brainwashing children that don't know any better. Those people should seriously be stopped for real or they should have their kids taken away from them for sure but I guess according to the laws in whatever state they are in they aren't doing anything wrong according to the laws but I bet if they were in Virginia they just might get their kids taken away but then again maybe not who knows.

Karen Hutto I've seen the video you're talking about and it is very sad that they are teaching kids to hate.

Angela BeanKaren Hutto I am so glad you know what video I am talking about because I couldn't find the damn thing on YouTube. LOL. I did look for it. Oh well. Now I don't have to look for it anymore because you know what video I am talking about and you have seen it. Yes it is awful that they teach kids to hate at such a young age.

 

I could go on all night about Westboro Baptist Church. Seriously. I have done the research on them. They are definitely a cult if you ask me. Yes they are called a church but if you knew about them you would say they are a cult too. I know a LOT about them. I have done LOTS of research about them. They interested me at first so I did research but now I have come to dislike the group.

Karen Hutto Yeah you are right. There is definitely a thunderstorm. It has been thundering for 10 minutes or more. And the wind is blowing like crazy. And it sounds like it is raining outside now. Actually it sounds like it is hailing. It don't actually sound like rain, it sounds like hail coming down.

I am glad that Dolores Beathe is taking pics of the thunderstorm because my camera battery is dead. Thanks mom for taking pics. Can't wait to look at them.

BOTH camera batteries that I have are dead. My batteries have been dead for like a week or more. I have yet to charge my battery. Think its about time I do that. This is probably why none of you have seen me upload any new pics. I have let my batteries die and haven't charged them in awhile. Going to go do this now though right after I post this status message. LOL.

It is 11:21pm and Yuna Lee Whsv said the storm was going to last at least until midnight so we got a half hour. I think the storm has been going for at least an hour, maybe more. I don't even know if it has actually rained. I'm in staunton virginia & all I've heard was thunder & saw lightning.

I think the thunderstorm is over. I don't think I hear anymore thunder. That kind of sucks. I actually like hearing the thunder. It is calming and soothing and relaxing to me. That's just me though. I just like to listen to a thunderstorm. My girlfriend Jen L Graves would disagree with me on that one. She hates thunderstorms.

I do believe that it is still raining. It sounds like it is still raining. Someone told me that it had rained in staunton virginia. I never bothered to look outside to see if it was raining & I couldn't tell if it was raining or not. But I do hear the rain now.

I wonder why Shandi, me & Jen L Graves cat is so skiddish & scared acting. Something must have happened to her to make her this way. I wonder what it was. Poor kitty. She really is a sweet cat. And she loves attention & likes to be petted. She don't like too much attention though. She sticks to herself a lot.

Yeah I still hear the thunder and I hear rain now. I didn't hear rain before but I hear rain now so this storm has obviously not passed yet. Hum. I like the thunder though, I don't mind hearing it.

Oh yeah did I mention that our electricity went out? Yeah, the electricity went out for like a minute then it came back on. But of course our internet went down for like 5 minutes. I think Jen L Graves fixed the internet & it came back on or maybe it fixed itself. Who knows. Its back on though of course.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

May 21st When I finally went to sleep

I finally went to sleep after days of being awake. Wasn’t on the computer much at all. Actually I didn’t get on the computer in like hum maybe 2 days. Maybe it wasn’t that long. Maybe I went a day without getting on the computer. Maybe it wasn’t even that long. It feels like it though. Who knows. Either way, I did end up going to sleep finally. I was driving myself crazy. LOL. Its sad when you end you irritating yourself or driving yourself crazy. Its bad when you don’t even want to be around yourself. Yeah, that is sad. LOL.

A friend sent me a forwarded text message that said the world is supposed to end on May 21st. Wow, really? That's the first I have heard about it. Well, sorry that is incorrect because it is NOW 12am May 21st & I'm still alive. LOL. Sorry but whoever wrote that text message was wrong.

I feel like I have lost touch with some of my friends. I'm noticing that things have changed in their life yet I didn't know about it. That means I have lost touch with them. Reason I knew things had changed in their life was because I read it on Facebook & didn't hear it from them. I don't feel like that is my fault though.

Friday, May 20, 2011

May 20th & Still Have Not Been To Sleep In Days

Seriously, I say the wrong things sometimes. This is one of my fault's I do believe.

Jen L Graves
I love Angela Bean !!!! More than words can explain !

I think maybe me writing long ass comments that turn into "novels" just might be a bad thing. I think this now because when I do that I end up writing a lot & writing stuff that probably shouldn't & most likely shouldn't & definitely shouldn't be said.

Freaking cat hair. Damnit. Seriously, sometimes the cat hair gets on my hands which ends up getting on my face and around my nose & that seriously makes my nose & my face start itching. OMG, it absolutely drives me bonkers. So wish the itching & the feeling of having cat hair on my face would just go away.

I got a forwarded text message that said the world will end on may 21st. i got 1 minute to live

Thursday, May 19, 2011

More Craziness Of The Bean Without No Sleep For Several Days

Seriously, I think I might be talking too much right now. I should probably shut up and stop talking right now. I don't want to annoy the shit out of Jen L Graves or Faline Jordan. Faline has only been around me a couple times when I am hyper & talkative like this.

One reason I am glad that Faline Jordan is my friend & I'm glad that she is a good friend to me, is because when I am in one of my talkative moods, she actually sits there the whole time & listens to what I say. She not only listens, but she gives me advice & her input on some of the things I am saying.

I don't feel hungry, and I don't feel like I could eat, and I haven't eaten at all except 2 bites of the Mcdouble that Jen L Graves got me way earlier, which since it is after 12am now, that would have been yesterday that she got me the Mcdouble & yesterday that I ate only 2 bites, but anyways, I am not hungry or don't feel hungry right now, YET, my stomach is growling continuously.

I'm not hungry & don't feel hungry right now, but my stomach is growling continuously so that must mean that obviously I am hungry or that my body needs or wants food so, I must force myself to eat even if I don't feel like it at the moment. So whatever Jen L Graves fixes to eat is what I will eat. If I eat, at least I won't have to hear my stomach growl & it won't get on my nerves anymore.

I have been very talkative lately. All I want to do is talk because I have lots to say. I have been talking non stop at certain times. I feel like sometimes me talking so much & talking nonstop has or is getting on people's nerves, even if they say it doesn't. That is just the way I feel. Maybe they say it doesn't get on their nerves just to be nice to me because they don't want to be mean about it. Who knows.

Just a thought, when I am in a talkative/typing mood, why is it when I AM talking/typing so much and I AM talking/typing nonstop no one seems to have a reply or a comment to anything I am saying. Why is it that I feel like people are not listening to what I am saying?

When I'm in a talkative/typing mood & I'm talking/typing nonstop why does it feel like I'm talking/typing to myself? Kind of feels like I don't have anyone to talk too because no one is saying anything back to me. I suppose I may as well just be talking to myself really. Which I admit I have actually been doing lately. Yes, I have been talking to myself & I know how to carry on a conversation with myself.

Honestly, I stopped caring what people thought about me. I didn't really care before what people thought about me & I definitely don't care now what people think of me. With that said, if you read any of my statuses & think I'm crazy then, I just might be crazy. Of course, that would be your opinion. You can think what you want about me. I'm not exactly crazy but I'm not exactly normal either.

Okay, so seriously, I think I might have really lost my mind. LOL. I say this because, seriously I was actually carrying on a conversation with my cat Chloe. At first I was just talking to her like most normal people would do to their cat. But then, I did actually go into a lengthy conversation with her.

I had a conversation with my cat, only to stop to realize what I was doing. I stopped myself because I realized that I was seriously having a conversation with my cat like I would have with an actual person. I realized this means I might actually have lost it. Seriously, is it normal to have a conversation with a cat? I don't think it is normal. I think this might mean that I have lost my mind.

I hate some of the FB Event invites I get. I read ALL the info on the events. Some info just absolutely makes no sense at all. Words in the info are misspelled or they have improper grammar. Anyone who creates a FB Event needs to seriously read the info they write to make sure it makes sense & they need to check their grammar & spelling before posting the event. Its not that hard, pretty simple really.

Well, Jen L Graves, who was the one to fall out first? LOL. It definitely wasn't me this time. That's okay though baby. I still love you even if you fell asleep on me. I actually thought you would be awake all day. I see now that I was totally wrong.

I am once again today, a little hyper you could say. Not exactly bouncing off the walls kind of hyper, at least not yet, but I am hyper.

I have not slept since I don't know when and I don't plan on sleeping any time soon at all. I am not one bit tired, I am not even close to being tired, not even a little bit, not even the slightest bit.

An idea from Rickey Scott. He said I need my own talk show. That's true. I do need my own talk show. I have been in a talkative mood & I have been talking nonstop & I just can't seem to shut up. This is because I have so much to say. Since I have so much to say & so much to talk about, I definitely should have my own talk show. I am sure it would be a hit & it would get lots of ratings & viewers.

I always end up having such a problem wording things right and correctly by my standards. This sucks for me because that means that when I am writing something it takes me so much longer to actually put all the words together.

Damn, seriously like some things take me way too long to do. Even though they shouldn't take me as long as they do.

Damn, why lately am I constantly struggling to focus and pay attention. My attention is lost so damn quickly & easily. I am so very easily distracted lately. This is one reason that it takes me so long to do things.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

May 18th In The World Of Bean

Well the craziness of Bean all started around 12am. So enjoy reading my crazy thoughts and random posts from Facebook. I had been awake for a couple days with no sleep and I was hyper and talkative and had lots on my mind and just felt like blowing up my Facebook with status messages. LOL.

Unicorns and Glitter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who doesn't love unicorns and glitter? Shiiiiit.

It is like reeeeeeeeeeeeeeallllllly fucking raining right now. I hear it pouring down raining right now. Holy fuck. Annnnnnnnnnnd it is thundering because I hear the thunder. Its probably lightening but I ain't looking outside, no thanks.

awww Lilly Bean is licking my hand, she is such a sweet little kitty. I love her. I've missed her laying on my lap. And Shandi is laying with me too. Awwwwww.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeallly fucking hope the electricity don't fucking go out right now because I don't have my lantern. Even though I do have candles but candles don't light up the room like a lantern does and a lantern don't really cause a fire like candles do. Damnnnnn. I hate this weather.

I'm hoping my battery on my laptop lasts for awhile since I had to unplug it because of this damn storm we are having.

Jen L Graves
Angela Bean... Let's see if you get this quote, right " All that typing, is giving me a headache. " LMMFAO !!

Now that I have blown up Jen L Graves Facebook with long ass comments that look like I am writing a novel I am going to go back to what I was doing before I was doing that. LOL.

On to the next task at hand that will keep me busy & that is to update my descriptions for my auctions on Listia. LOL. This should keep me busy for the next couple hours. LOL. See ya later Facebook. LOL. I'll be back soon I'm sure, but not too soon.

Finished updating my auctions. Thank goodness. Boy that took awhile. LOL. Not quite as long as I had thought but anyways. I am done with it. Thank goodness.

Holy shit, one of my auctions got up to 606 credits. Hell yes. Definitely going to make sure that item gets sent out as fast as I can get it out. Definitely worth 606 credits, even though I never would have thought it would be. Hell yes. Total score. Woot woot. LOL.

Jen L Graves
Insomnia: When ones body is so tired it forgets how to sleep. ( I just think my body is mad at me! ) Yup that's it alright. They say no rest for the wicked... And me and Angela Bean are definitely WICKED !! HAHA

Yes, if you are asking yourself have I been up all night and not been to sleep then the answer is yes. I am not the only one though. My baby Jen L Graves has been awake all night too. LOL. Sometimes we just don't sleep because we are not tired.

Jen L Graves
Bout to roll out with Angela Bean and Dawn Corbin !!

Just because someone lies about stuff doesn't mean I am going to stop being there friend. I give people chances. I don't just stop being there friend. All friendships have fights and issues and normally if the friendship is strong enough you get over it & don't hold grudges.

Just for yall's info, I am NOT two faced & never will be. If I got to something to say I say it to your face. I am not a two faced person. I am who I am. If you don't like the way I am and how I handle things then you don't have to be my friend. I know the truth and thats all that matters. Don't matter what you say.

I so have to pee but I can't because I have my cat Lilly on my lap. I have had to pee for about an hour but I so don't want to move her. She is so cute sleeping on me. Cute little kitty. LOL.

I hate being rushed so I hope when I leave I have my shit together which normally I don't cos I always forget something but I hope I have my shit together cos I hate being rushed out the door. I should probably get my shit straight before it gets closer to the time to leave that way I'm not rushing. I don't feel like getting up though. LOL.

Is it not just fucking gross that my puppy likes to chew on used tampons? Isn't that fucking gross. Ewwwwwwwwwwww. I have no idea why she does this. I have no clue. I'm lost at why she does that. Who knows. Either way, its freaking gross. Yuck.

So many things have gone wrong so far today. This day began bad, it seems to be getting better. Thank goodness.

We had such a busy day today. I didn't want to waste time. I've been wasting my time lately and wasting time doing things. Don't want to waste my time anymore. I got too much to do to waste my time doing things that don't need to be done.

I'm proud of Jen L Graves for saving money. I'm so proud of her. Its easier for her to save money than it is for me. I'm bad about spending money. I think I've been doing better though, I think. Probably not.

Everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wonder what the reason is for some things that happen.

So many things happening all at once. Hard to keep up and remember everything. My brain is on overload. Lol.

I feel bad because I'm so broke. I should be able to provide 4 Jen L Graves. I feel like a bad gf. I should be able to give her what she wants. I suck. Must try harder.

I have been trying hard 2 get a job. I have, but I must try harder. I feel like I'm not trying hard enough. Must bust my ass and try harder. I can do it. I need & have to do it.

Must get my shit straight and together. I'm slacking with my responsibilities and my duties. Must get it together & do better & try harder to do things. I have been sick & just haven't had the energy really to do anything. Must get it together.

I've been letting things go & not doing things I should be doing. I feel bad. Not fair to Jen L Graves. Must get off my lazy ass & get shit done. Haven't had the energy & I've been sick. But I have to get things done, I must. Need to make myself do things.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not a good girlfriend to Jen L Graves. I feel like I could be a better girlfriend to her & provide for her more. Even though I been trying hard to get a job & to provide for her. I feel like I'm not trying hard enough. I must do better. I must. I must get a job so we can have more money. I must. Don't want to lose her ever.

So today Jennifer & I almost rear ended a tractor trailor cos he decided he was goin 2 pull on the side of the road on an on ramp. fucking idiot.

So busy today. Glad we got it all done. Hope I didn't irritate Jen L Graves today. I was just so hyper. LOL. I think it was okay. Because Jen was hyper too. LOL. I love her when she is hyper. She is so cute when she is hyper & she seriously cracks me the hell up.

Being broke sucks. I need to bust my ass tonite & apply for jobs. There has 2 b a job out there 4 me. Not having a job is irritating me & aggravating me damnit.

Coming to realize more & more that I'm broke. I was made aware of this today. And I keep being made aware of this. It sucks. It really does suck to be broke. Life just has to get better than this. It must. It must for us to survive.

Startn 2 think bout "friends" on my friend list & startn 2 ? some things. They don't talk 2 me & they r friends wit my wife. So, I'm questioning whether 2 keep them on my friend list or not.

Wondering if some of my "friends" on my friends list r true friends or not. R they 2 faced or backstabbers or like 2 gossip? I don't know I'm wondering. Really wondering now.

Those of u who don't comment or poke me or talk 2 me on FB might seriously get deleted. I have been thinkin & ppl mite get deleted. Unsure of my true "friends" on FB. don't know anymore.

If u want 2 stay on my friends list then u need 2 start talkin 2 me. I don't need "friends" on my FB that I'm unsure of r true friends. Mite start deleting people. Sorry. Just unsure lately who's my true friend.

Don't worry, u won't get deleted if u talk to me on the phone or if u text me. I'll only delete those who don't talk 2 me at all.

Seriously was irritated with my phone earlier. I could have thrown it damnit. Wish I could afford a new phone. I love my Blackberry but it is so old, it is time for a new one.

Why aren't some things in my life going the way I want them to? Why can't things go right for me? Damnit. Maybe this is some kind of punishment for something I have done. Who knows. Maybe this is karma. I hope not. Because if it is then this sucks big time.

Seriously felt like I was goin 2 have a panic attack earlier. I had 2 smoke a cigarette 2 calm down. I let things stress me too easily. Dumb things really. Things that wouldn't normally stress anyone else. Too many things been going through my head lately. Just so much going on really. Life is super freaking busy kind of.

I love hearing Jen L Graves sing. She has such a beautiful voice. Mmm. Sexy voice. Best sound I've heard. God I love her. I am glad she sings in front of me. I love hearing her sing.

Jen L Graves looks so hot today. At least I think she does. Damn, yeah, she is a hottie. I love her so much. Yeah, my gf is a hottie. Even if she thinks her hair is a mess today, she still looks hot to me. I actually think she looks hot with her hair a mess. I love her so much. She is so beautiful in my eyes.

Damn, I'm all hyper today & wound up. Lol. Can u tell? Lol

Today started off bad, hoped it would get better. Didn't think it would. Seems like it just might get better and not be such a bad day after all.

Me and Jen L Graves were riding back from Harrisonburg earlier. Jen was hyper and so was I. We haven't slept yet lol. We have been hyper all day. Haha

So wish I had my damn video camera earlier so I could have recorded Jen L Graves. She was seriously cracking me the hell up in the car. ROFL LMMFAO...haha I thought I was going to die laughing at her. Hahaha

Jen L Graves was singing and bouncing around and driving at the same time, she was cracking me up. She looked all gangster. Haha. U would die laughing at her if you would have seen her. Lmmfao. I so love my girlfriend. She makes me laugh. Haha

Yes I'm hyper and have had lots of mt dew and no sleep. I have been hyper all day. I am just sitting here relaxing and chilling now. I was way more hyper earlier. LOL. And so was Jen L Graves. We are not as hyper as we were earlier. LOL. We have calmed down a little bit. LOL.

I screwed myself with shipping costs. I charged $2 shipping for a tshirt & I put it in smallest envelope I could get it in & it ended up costing me like $7+. I know better now. I screwed myself, my fault. Glad I changed all my auctions to Exact Shipping instead of putting in an amount. Sorry Jen L Graves, my mistake that cost us. I am sorry baby.

I will say it again & say it for the last time, sometimes I jump to conclusions. I shouldn't, but I do. Sorry. Just how I am. One of my faults I guess. I will try my hardest next time not to jump to conclusions. I said I will try, can't guarantee anything.

I will always explain myself and my actions, well, almost always. Sometimes I don't need to explain myself or my actions, they should be self explanatory. However, there is a reason for everything I do, almost always a reason for everything that I do, that I can think of. Yeah, almost always. Can't think of a time there wasn't a reason for something I did. Um, yeah, don't think there has been a time.

Been in a pretty good mood all day. Didn't start off exactly in a good mood. Things just kept going wrong. And then they only seemed to get worse. BUT, I am in a pretty good mood right now. Things seem to have gotten better. I better not jinx myself though. I am just hoping nothing else goes wrong today. One can hope & pray.

When I said I was thinking about deleting people, I didn't mean the people who like my statuses or the people who comment my statuses or who email me or chat with me on Facebook or the ones who text my cell phone or call my cell phone. Basically the people who are my "friends" that I am unsure of if they are my true friends.

Sometimes it takes awhile to realize who your true friends are. Those are the ones who always stick by you. The ones who are always there for you. The ones who listen to what you have to say & give advice. The ones who always stick up for you & have your back. True friends don't ignore you & they don't stop talking to you & they don't act like you don't exist. That is my definition anyway.

Sometimes you might think I ask too many questions. I'm sorry if I do this around you & it annoys you. Obviously I ask questions because I want to know the answer. If I ask you questions its because I think you're smart & know the answer to my question. Best I can explain it I suppose.

Sometimes I seriously wonder about people, I question their motives. I just wish people were as blunt as me & as honest as me. If you are my friend, all I ask is you be honest with me. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so. Just be honest, even if it might upset me or hurt me or piss me off. If you are a true friend then we can work through it.

If you got something to say about me then just say it to me. If you think something about me then just tell me. Don't go talk shit behind my back. I will eventually find out, I almost always do. Just come out & say it to me. Don't make it like you are talking about someone else when you are really talking about me. Say it to my face, I won't get mad. I like honesty and I hate liars.

I've been thinking about a lot of things today. Lots of things have been running through my mind. Not bad things, just thinking about different things that I haven't taken the time to really think about before. Glad I have had the time today to think about these things. Makes things clearer to me now, or so it seems.

If people don't want to hear their dog whine and are going to be mean to their dog when it whines and yell at it when it whines then they shouldn't have gotten a dog in the first place. Some people shouldn't own animals, seriously.

Sometimes I don't listen or hear what people say, and this gets me into trouble sometimes or only causes me problems later on. Jen L Graves I am very sorry I wasn't listening to what you were saying baby. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Another one of my mistakes today. I'm making too many today. I'm sorry baby.

I am totally new to the Listia community & have now realized that I screwed myself because I listed no free shipping on my auctions yet on some of them I am going to have to pay shipping because I listed the wrong shipping cost. I listed the shipping cost too low, so now I really am in a way paying for free shipping. Even though they send me money for the shipping its not enough. You live & you learn.

In a way, I am kind of addicted to Listia. Its this website where you can give away free items & get free items. Some items you have to pay shipping costs but some items are free shipping. I totally love this website. I think I might be addicted. LOL. Its a fun website. Kind of like Ebay but a whole lot better.

I am absolutely, totally, positively in love with Jen L Graves. She is my life, my world. She means everything to me & I love her so very much.

All day I couldn't help but look at Jen L Graves. She looks absolutely hot, gorgeous, sexy, and beautiful today. I couldn't stop staring at her and here it is 9:42pm and I still can't stop staring at her because she is so beautiful and such a hottie. I totally love my girlfriend. I am so lucky to have her.

You know why I am so slow today? Because I keep getting distracted. You know how I am distracted? All day I have been constantly staring at my girlfriend Jen L Graves because she looks absolutely beautiful and amazing.

YOU DON'T LOOK SICK!!! No I don't. It's hard to explain to someone when they have no clue. It's a daily struggle feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Please put this as your status for at least 1 hour if you or someone you know has an invisible illness (Anxiety, Bi-Polar, P.T.S.D., LUPUS, Fibromyalgia, Crohns, Diabetes, Arthritis, Chronic Back Pain, Epilepsy, MS, Depression). Don't Judge!

Faline Jordan
What is great is when you have three Sisters (Jen L Graves Angela Bean andKourtney Landes) that you can talk about anything with and they respect you more than your own blood sister does.. I love each and every one of yall. Thank you for being great sisters

YOU DON'T LOOK SICK!!! No I don't. It's hard to explain to someone when they have no clue. It's a daily struggle feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Please put this as your status if you or someone you know has an invisible illness (Anxiety, Bi-Polar, P.T.S.D., LUPUS, Fibromyalgia, Crohns, Diabetes, Arthritis, Chronic Back Pain, Epilepsy, MS, Depression, Schizophrenia). Don't Judge!