Update

So yesterday it was warm, it was about 73 degrees. But that all changed come the afternoon. It got really windy and I had to work second shift at work because we have one girl out because she is sick so I worked her shift. I had to chase the trash cans several times and the buckets the windshield washer fluid was in.. The Richmond Times Dispatch paper box got knocked over several times and I had to pick it up and put it back in place. The last time it blew over I struggled to pick it back up and put it back where it was but out of no where one of my customers came and picked it up for me and put it back in place. That was so nice of him and it meant a lot to me to have him help me. He didn't have to but he did. That was nice of him. Yesterday went by pretty quickly and I did a lot. I checked out of dates for the Beef Jerky and I found a lot but I still need to continue that because I wasn't done because well I had to close my drawer so I didn't get to finish checking out of dates. Yesterday I got up later then I had wanted but my alarm didn't go off at 7:30 like I had thought it would. Which reminds me I need to make sure my alarm is on for tomorrow. So I got up at like 9 or around that time and I drank my shake and later on Jennifer and I went to the Dollar Tree and bought some stuff. I drank my shake for lunch when I got to work. I started watching Days Of Our Lives after I took a shower and then I went to work early so April wasn't by herself for the rest of her shift. I did a lot yesterday but I didn't stock the cooler. That is the only thing I didn't get done. I was off Tuesday but I can't remember what I did. That is why it is important to write down what I do everyday which is what I need to start doing. Because well, I don't have the greatest memory at all. So this morning I woke up and went and smoked a cigarette and let the dogs out. Then Jennifer woke up and we went to Starbucks to get coffee. I got a Cafe Mocha like I always get and Jennifer got her White Chocolate Mocha like she always gets then we stopped at the bank so she could deposit money into her account. Then we came home. We got home and I let the dogs out and smoked a cigarette then I came inside. Milo and Cinder and Bella were happy we were back home. Milo was hyper running all around the place. I started exercising but Milo kept getting under my feet so I stopped exercising and I put him in the room with Jennifer. Cinder and I went outside and then I came inside and decided to finish exercising. So I exercised for a total of 32 minutes. The Wii Fit recommends 30 minutes of exercise a day. After I exercised I took Cinder back outside and she had had a bone out there that she had hidden and she was chewing on that. Then we came in and I got on the computer which is what I am doing now. So that is my day so far. I was going to go to Mom and Dad's house but so much needs to be done around here and I didn't have two days off in a row so that kind of messed me up and I didn't get to do as much as I had wanted on Tuesday. I might have to wait to go to Mom and Dad's house until later. I need to do some surveys on Toluna. Toluna is a survey site that you can sign up with and they send you surveys and you get points and with the points you can get cash and prizes and enter sweepstakes. I have been faithfully working with Toluna for a week or more now. I like this site because it is better than all those other survey sites. I haven't gotten paid yet but I do have over 5000 points which is really good. You have to have the time to sit down and do them and some are short and some are not. Jennifer installed the Toluna app on my iPhone. Milo by the way if I haven't mentioned is our new puppy. Jennifer sent me a photo last week of a puppy and said meet Milo. I was like what the fuck. She didn't ask me if we could get another puppy but its okay because now I love the little booger. He is so cute and adorable. And Jennifer dresses him up in cute little outfits. I will have to post some photos of him. He is absolutely adorable and my boss April loves him to death. He has a cold or something which he had when Jennifer got him so I am going to have to take him to the vet so he can get better. He is only like 2 months old. He is a Pug and so cute.

I have had Insomnia here lately. I have been going to bed later but only when I don't have to work the next day. I ran out of my medicine but thankfully it came today. Jennifer had been giving me some of her medicine since I ran out. She takes Adderall too but her pills are a higher milligram then mine are. The VA won't give me 30 milligrams. Even though I have been on that dose before they will only give me 20 milligrams. Oh well because the 20 milligrams work for me. But I like the 30 milligrams better because they work better and last longer. My OCD has gotten worse I have noticed. Of course I don't notice until afterwards but I will post a photo of what I mean. I am very particular about a lot of things and certain things have to be perfect or it irritates the shit out of me. I try not to let it stress me out but it just has to be a certain way for me or I am not happy at all. And I will fix it until it is perfect and the way I like it. I am that way at work and it used to annoy my coworkers but they have learned to live with it. In the long run the way I do things is better because everything is so much more organized. And I have given my coworkers a little bit of my OCD lol meaning like germs and stuff. I always have a bottle of Hand Sanitizer handy at work because well, we work with money and money carries lots of germs. My coworker Peggy came in the other day coughing all over the place and not covering her mouth and it pissed me off because I don't want her germs and I don't want to get sick. Cheryl came in and worked for Peggy so she could go home. Cheryl sprayed everything down with Lysol.

What a day

Glad to be home from work but being Assistant Manager my works follows me home sometimes. Anyways I'm glad to be home. Jen got me doughnuts from the Highland Maple Festival yay. I'm not really supposed to eat doughnuts being on a diet but it's okay to chest every now and then. I've been good lately and been sticking to my diet so it's okay to eat a doughnut or two. I just have to exercise more and keep pushing myself. I really need to get on her computer at some point this evening because the survey thing I signed up for Toluna has been sending me emails with new surveys and I haven't gotten to them in days. Can't make money if I don't fill out the surveys. 

Man I have been exhausted the past couple days. Work wears me out. I have plenty of energy on my days off and get stuff done then thankfully. 

Madness

I'll never forget that winding road in the dark, 

the blackness of night. 

The silence of night. 

The stillness in the woods. 

Dreams escape me as do my thoughts. 

I speak not a word for fear someone will hear my thoughts. 

I speak to myself in silence 

for fear if I speak my thoughts to myself someone will hear.

My thoughts are like a maddening cry. 

Escaping the horror which are my thoughts, 

it's madness inside my head. 

The horrific screams in the night you hear in the darkness if the moon. 

We stopped checking for monsters under our beds 

until we realized they were inside of us. 

Inside screaming to get out like a caged prisoner. 

Good morning

At work folding towels. I woke up this morning and took the dogs out and smoked a cigarette. Then I ate a cup of Chobani blended pineapple yogurt and drank a bottle of water. Then I did the Body Test on the Wii Fit. After that I ate some EL Fudge's and went out and smoked a cigarette while the dogs peed. Then I came in and took a shower as fast as I could. After getting dressed I took the dogs back out to play while I smoked a cigarette. Then I got my stuff together and headed out to work. Of course giving Bella and Cinder hugs and kisses before I left. Got to work and fixed my shake then got on the register and drank my shake. Cleaned my cup and then started entering invoices. Now I am folding towels. April's computer is down so she can't do anything on the computer and she has paperwork to catch up on. The Fuel Rewards network is down so no one can use their FRn Card. What an exciting eventful day it has been already. Today is truck day so I am tryingn to get stuff done before it comes. It's coming late thankfully. Well back to work

Thoughts

I decided toc. Hange my way of thinking. Meaning I decided to think more positive. They did a study that was in ABC News that said when you get angry it raises your blood pressure and it can cause you to have a stroke or a heart attack. So that had me thinking a bit. I need to make sure I don't get angry or have an angry outburst. They said to breathe and take deep breaths. So that's something to think about. My Cousin Sandy is a positive influence in my life. She is a very positive person so I am trying to be more positive also. I have decided to change the way I think and change my attitude. I did that today and I had a great day. I got a lot done today and I'm very proud of myself. I paid rent, went to all my banks, cleaned the house, went to my doctor appointment, got me coffee, paid my truck insurance and life insurance, got Jennifer's medicine and exercised. I'm sure there are other things I accomplished today that I left out. But I am proud of all that I accomplished today, I got so much done. Today has been a great day. The weather was nice and I stayed mostly warm until this evening of course when the sun went down. But I just got out of the shower cos I was getting cold so I wanted to warm up and now I am warm laying on the couch watching tv. I am in a great mood and have been all day. Jennifer is sleeping she has to work so she's been sleeping but then again she sleeps a lot. She has health problems so she is tired a lot. Cinder and Bella have been so good today. I played with Cinder today and gave her lots of hugs and kisses and rubbed her stomach like she likes. I love my dog so much. She has my heart and she knows it. She is in there with Jennifer in the bedroom right now. Guess she's sleeping. She has had a busy day. So had Bella. They're both in there with Jennifer sleeping. They had a busy day. Cinder enjoyed spending time outside in the nice weather. I exercised for 32 minutes today. I really need to try to exercise longer but I had to pay myself today because I was wanting to stop but I glad I pushed myself to continue because that made it over the 30 minute Mark. The Wii Fit game congratulates you when you exercise over 30 minutes so I try to at least exercise for that amount of time. Man I'm so looking forward to the new show Resurrection. It's coming on ABC this coming Subday, that's when it premiers and I am so excited. Unfortunately I have to work next Monday so I hope it comes on early that way I can go to bed at my regular time and not lose sleep but if it comes on at 9 I guess I will just stay up and watch it cos I have been waiting for weeks to watch it. 

Exercise

Exercising makes me feel better. I don't mind working up a sweat. 

Determined

The street lights

The night skies

The passing cars

I'm going to wish up on a star

Gonna hold into my dreams

Never gonna give up

Gonna fight this fight

Keep dreaming

Keep doing

Fighting for what I believe in

I will be their voice

This one's for the animals

Who can't speak

Who aren't heard

Stand up and fight for them

I can do anything

As long as I put my mind to it

I will be successful

I will be courageous

I can do this

I will shed the weight

Drop it like it's hot

In determined

I'm gonna do it

Eat no meat

Cos I'm a vegetarian

Eat healthy

Be the diet

Do the diet

Live the diet

I am going to accomplish my goals

I can do this

I will be a success

I'm motivated

Determined

I have my mind set

I'll think positive

Push the negative out

In with the good

Out with the bad

It's going to happen

I can do it

Because I'm determined