Last Night

Well, Laura & Brittany had been trying to get Sara & I to hang out with them. It wasn't Sara's fault that we hadn't hung out with them, it was my fault because I hadn't told her that I wanted them to hang out with us. Well, last night we went out to eat with them. I realized a LOT last night. After eating chinese food with them, we went back to their apartment & had a long drawn out conversation. It wasn't mean to be so drawn out but, I seem to have a problem communicating & opening up to people. Well, it was crazy, and very emotional. I opened up a little bit to Sara. I need to start communicating more with her. Brittany yelled at me a lot but that is a good thing because last night I realized, and I was told, that I am an arrogant, cocky, asshole. Yeah, that makes sense, I can see where she got that from. And to be honest, that is what I have been lately. I thought and thought about it last night a lot, and she was right, and Laura was right, and Sara was right about the way I have been acting. So I have decided that I need to make some changes about myself. So there is going to be a new me.

From An Annoying Mind

So, I was looking online and was made aware that Three Days Grace is coming to The Norva which is in Norfolk. Sara would enjoy going. Definitely. I haven't been to a concert in a long time. I want to get tickets and go. I asked Aaron & Kourtnee if they wanted to go. I want Sara to go also. Sara & Ronnie are retarded when their together lol. They act so goofy. But they are so cute together. I'm starting to get tired for some reason. Ronnie, Sara & I are on our way to Charlottesville. He's listening to dance music. The kind of music they'd play in Club 216. That might be contributing to me about to fall to sleep. If i was listening to my music i wouldn't be falling asleep. It may be the music. I don't know. Of course i listen to rock music. Emo music. Punk rock. All rock mostly. And i listen to oldies. 60s music. Stuff like that. They both listen to that rap and dance club music. It makes me fall asleep. I think if i was driving i probably wouldn't be falling asleep. If Sara was driving i might not be about to fall asleep. You know, I wasn't the only one getting tired. Ronnie said he was getting tired on the way over to Charlottesville also. Actually I think we're in Charlottesville now. I think i'm getting tired because Ronnie is driving.
I love Sara but damnit. She don't listen to me. Maybe she listens but she don't respond and it seems like she's ignoring me. I feel like i have no one to talk to. I could tell Sara but she'd only get upset with me or mad at me. You know, I feel like I only have my blog to talk to. Or should i say, this is the only place I have to get my feelings out. Like she has to show off, let everyone know her car is better than theirs. Play her music all loud. She's going to tear her car up. You know, i thought Sara was more mature. It seems when she's on the avenue she becomes immature. I guess that's one thing that Sara doesn't realize. I'm older than her. I'm starting to get tired. I have to start going to bed earlier. I can't keep going to bed so late. Its tiring me out. I'm getting old. I'm going to start writing everything down. Such as, information about my friends my girlfriend, everything. This way i won't forget.
I have eaten so much this weekend. I'm going to have to work out or something. Get the gained weight off. It's not that I think i'm fat or anything like that. I've eaten so much today. I guess i'm making up for all the times I didn't eat. I'm going to definitely gain weight now.

Thoughts From Last Night

These are some of my thoughts from last night. I've had a lot on my mind lately. I suppose I just needed to get them out there. Not really get them out there for the whole world to know about, but the reason would be, to get them out of my mind. It's good for me to remember later on what I was thinking.

October 5th, 2007 Friday
My hands & wrists are hurting. I have a killer headache. Today wasn't a bad day but it wasn't such a great day either. Besides my head hurting, after first break I felt like I was going to throw up. All day I was shaking & freezing cold. For some reason I thought it was really cold in the classroom. I sat in class all day with my long sleeve Abercrombie shirt on. To me it felt cold this morning. I'm cold almost all the time though. I'm cold blooded. I'm a cold natured person. I've always been that way though. Grandma Collins has always said onething though & that is that everytime I give her a kiss on the cheek my nose is always cold. It could be hot outside & my nose will still be cold. But thats's normal because my nose has always been like that since i was a little kid. But, today wasn't so bad. I mean it wasn't terrible. It could've been better though. It would've been better if i wasn't sick. I've been sick, because i have bronchitis but for some reason today i didn't feel well. I felt like i was going to vomit & myneck was hurting all day. I think my neck was hurting because I was basically sitting in the same position all day long. I was freezing cold all day long. What is the point of staying in a conversation when your only going to get cut off. I have learned a few things & realized a few things over the past couple weeks. You know, I've realized that I talk to myself a lot. And the reason I say that is because you may as well say that I talk to myself a lot. Most of the time I am talking to myself because it seems like no one is listening to me. Sometimes I just get so irritated. It's almost as if its pointless to even speak sometimes. It's pointless because i'm not being listened to. I suppose I keep mentioning the topic of not being listened to because it's on my mind. & if I forget about it, it just comes back up.