28 September 2013

This morning I went into work. I had my morning coffee & sausage biscuits as usual then took my medicine. I finished what I had to do then off to Mom & Dad’s I went. I've been here since then. I spent some time with Mom but then she left with my sister to go to Harrisonburg. They’re still gone & we’re waiting on them to come home & bring us food. After Mom left Dad & I watched the Tennessee game, they won. I've spent the day writing poetry & updating my website. Have to go home soon but not really wanting to. I miss my dogs & I know they miss me. I've been waiting for mom to get back cos she’ll bring me & dad something to eat. But I’ll be leaving soon before it gets dark so it looks like I won’t be eating dinner. Oh well it will be okay. I could stand to lose a few a pounds anyway. Dad & I watched the Tennessee game, they won, we were happy about the outcome of the game. I updated my website finally. Man I can’t wait to get Internet back at my house. I can’t stand being disconnected from the world, I feel like I’m missing out on something. I’m procrastinating about going home. I have a ton of laundry to do & the dryer squeaks so I can’t put in very many clothes so I've been putting that off. I need to tidy up my house but I haven’t done that yet. Its hard when I’m the only one doing anything around the house. They say a relationship is supposed to be equal but sometimes its not & that’s unfair to the person doing it all which is me. Ugh I hate having anxiety. I have stuff to do at home but I’m dreading doing it. Since my internet & cable got cut off I haven’t wanted to be at home much. I’m there on days I work but on my days off I’m gone. I need to get my internet back. I think its making my anxiety act up. Or it could be a ton of other things going on in my life. Well its dark now & I’m home finally. I have a ton of laundry to do & I’m dreading it. If there wasn't so much to be done I wouldn't mind. Bella & Cinder were happy to see me & I was happy to see them. Jen’s at work, she works a lot at night & in the evenings. When she is home she’s sleeping so I don’t see her much. I work daylight only now since I've become Assistant Manager. I love working daylight because then I have the whole rest of the evening to do whatever, like laundry & clean the house. I’m glad to see my dogs. I brought some food home for them & they enjoyed it. Now we’re laying on the couch relaxing. Housework will have to wait until tomorrow. My anxiety is bothering me & cleaning the house won’t help, it’ll make it worse. Karen told me today that she was going to start writing again, apparently I inspired her the other day to write again. I was hoping she’d start writing again. We used to write as kids. We’d write stories and poems. We used to play radio station, we’d record songs off the radio & then be the dj’s & talk on the tape. Yeah that was back when there was cassette tapes still. Cd's came out shortly after that. Those were the good times, no responsibility or paying bills. Sometimes I wish I could start over & do it all over again. But that’s not the way life is meant to be.