Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts

Saturday, November 2, 2013

DWP: Writing

Daily Word Prompt: Writing

For me writing is a way to escape into a whole another world. I can get my thoughts out instead of keeping them bottled up inside. I started writing when I was a kid. When I was in elementary school I won a writing contest and they hung up my poem in the cafeteria for all to see. I felt special and important. Over the years I have won Poet Of The Month through Poetry.com which is a great site through the International Poetry Society which I belong too. I am a poet and have written so many poems over the years, too many to count. I love poetry because it is a great way to express yourself in words. If you go online on The Web Poetry Corner a lot of my poems are on there. When I was a kid I used to write stories, stories which I don't think really had a genre. I used to write about everything. Guess in my writing you could see what a grotesque dark mind I had even as a child. That comes from being bipolar and a schizophrenic I guess. I wasn't diagnosed with it until I was in the Army in 2005 in my adulthood. Back then I had never been diagnosed with it and it was never mentioned that I had it. But when I look back I can see that I had it but at that time I didn't know what bipolar or schizophrenia was. I grew up an ADHD child with behaviorial problems. Just ask my parents they will tell you what a trouble child I was. I gave them a world of problems even though I didn't mean too.
I had a learning disability and was in Special Education classes from Elementary School to High School. And yes I got made fun of for being in special ed classes. Yes life growing up was tough and I got bullied plenty. And the bullying got worse when I became a teenager because when I was 14 I came out as a lesbian and the taunting and harsh words followed. Dyke was everyone's favorite harsh word to call me. I got used to the bullying but really should anyone get used to that? I don't think so. Well I had a best friend Jennifer Wimer who was always there for me and she didn't care if I was a lesbian, she was still my friend regardless. She always took up for me and when someone made a conment she always had something to say. And she always said she was my girlfriend and she would kick their ass when someone made a rude comment. She was a good best friend but we lost touch over the years. I saw her a couple months ago when she came into my work and she told me where she was working so I should go see her. Jennifer was gothic and always painted her face similar to the group ICP and she had lots of piercings and wore a ton of necklaces. And she dressed in all black of course and dressed differently then others. She also got picked on and made fun of because of her looks but I always took up for her and didn't care what anyone said and I didn't care what ahe looked like. I wasn't her friend for her looka we got along and she had a great peraonality. She would tell people to kiss her ass when they made a comment. She was ready to fight when someone had something mean to say. She never got in any fights that I know of but she was ready if the occassion would arise. We were like two peas in a pod always hanging out and doing stuff together and talking on the phone. Funny thing is that she started off by being my sister's friend and then we started hanging out and we got along together better than her and my sister did. Jennifer and I had more in common then my sister Donica and her. So it was only natural that we clicked. We used to walk home from school together cos we lived in the subdivision behind the schools. There was normally a group of us that walked home together almost every day. One day when I was a senior in high school I was walking home by myself, I don't remember where everyone else was. Well I was walking home and this car was coming in my direction and passed me. Apparently they wanted to do a Uturn and I was passing a dead end road and they did a uturn in the intersection of that road and hit me from behind with their car. I remember the car was on top of me and I had to crawl out from under it. When they hit me it slammed me to the ground and my knees hit with a thud so hard against the ground. After I crawled out from under it they said are you ok without getting ever getting out of the vehicle and before I even had time to respond they drove off without evening checking to see if I was okay or if I was hurt. I had on brand new jeans Mom had bought me and the accident had ripped the knees out of my jeans. And my knees were all bloody. No one stopped they just kept driving by but one. Kim Martin and her boyfriend Boots were coming home from school and saw it apparently. They stopped and asked if I was ok and if I wanted a ride. I don't even remember what I said because I was in tears but I ended up walking home. Mom happened to be off work that day cos I think Donica had an appointment. When I got home I immediately called Jennifer my best friend and her dad brought her to my house. When she got there she was freaking out and asking me if I was okay and she was pissed that they drove off. And her dad was concerned also and offered to take me to the hospital. But about that time mom and donica pulled up and I told mom what happened and she called the police. A State Police Officer came to the house and took my statement. It ended up being in the paper as a hit and run which no one ever came forward about it. I received over $1000 from our insurance and I don't even know what I spent the money on but my jeans got replaced. Mom had to take a picture of them and send it to the insurance company. Karen my other best friend wasn't with me because she had already graduated from high school so that is why she wasn't with me. I can laugh about it now but at the same time its not really funny because I could have died or been hurt really bad.
But back to writing, it is a way to release what I am thinking inside. And I like to think about the past and keep the memories alive. I don't like forgetting things even though I can't remember some things. Grandpa Collins talks about the past too for the same reason. Its good to keep the memories alive. Wiriting can take you to places you've never been before and the possibilties are endless.
I haven't written any stories in a long time though. Probably not since I was a teenager really. I used to write down what my characters names were and info about them and then I would start writing the story from that point on.
Do you remember in school how we used to use the bubbles when writing. I used to love using the bubbles because I could come up so much stuff. And when I did the bubbles I had so many branched out.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Memories

I love my family all of them even if we don't talk everyday. I live how much alike my cousins on my dads side and I are. My Kirchner cousins and I are so similar, we have so much in common and I am glad for that. Its nice to have family that you can relate to and that have similar interests and hobbies and the similar way of thinking.

Its nice to be able to sit down and write my thoughts down and keep a journal. When my dad was growing up my Grandna Bean made him write a journal and he wrote in it everyday. I still have dad's journal but I think its in cursive so I couldn't read it very well. I am sure dad could decifer his writing maybe. Grandma Bean was a teacher I believe and so she was always focused on learning and reading and writing. Maybe that's where I get it from. I have always had a love for reading and writing. I get the love of reading from dad because he has always loved to read. His favorite books to read are civil war books, mostly about the Confederate Army the south. He has so many books it would take me forever to read them all but he has read them all. I have read some of his books. Mostly the ones about Tennessee, Cades Cove and the Great Smoky Mountains. Writing well, I don't know where I get that from. I have always loved to write since I was old enough to write. When I was in elementary school I won poet of the month. I can't remember what my poem was about though. But I remember I was proud of myself. They hung up my poem in the cafeteria for all to see. I rememver getting so many compliments about it too. Over the years I have won the Editor's Choice Award for Outstanding Achievement in Poetry through poetry dot com and the Intrrnational Library of Poetry. I still have two of my certificates from there. I won on October 2006 and June 2005. I don't know where all my other certificates went unless Mom has them somewhere. I have a book that I keep all my certificates in. I have all of my certifications in there. I have my certificate from Basic Training at Fort Jackson and my Cambridge Certified Internet Associate certification from Camvridge Intercontinental University. I have my Career Resdiness Certificate issued by the Commonwealth of Virginia. I have my Annual Report Team certificate from when I worked on the Annual Report at WWRC in 2008. I have my MS Excel 2003 Fundamentals certificate from Brainbench. My Computer Fundamentals (Win XP) certificate from Brainbench. I have my Microsoft Excel 2003 Microsoft Office Specialist Certification and my Microsoft Office Word 2003 Microsoft Office Specialist Certification that I recieved through Blue Ridge Community College. And I have all my certifications from Skillsoft that I recieved while at WWRC. I have Certificate Of Achievement from WWRC for completion of Study Strategies Made Easy. I have my MS Word and English Grammar Certifications I recieved from BrainBeez. I also have my certification from Learn To Type dot com and at that time I typed 60 words per minute without any errors. I have my Customer Service Certification I received while at WWRC. I also have my certificate as an ordained minister from the Universal Life Church Monastry which I recieved on 17 September 2008. Yes I am an ordanined minister.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

I dream A Little Dream Of You Tonight

I dream A Little Dream Of You Tonight

by

Angela Bean

 dream a little dream of you tonight
I hope if I do die tonight
That I will be with you
wherever I shall go
heaven, hell
wherever
whatever
I dream a little dream of you tonight
I dream that we are together
and there is no one there to stop us from loving each other
no one is in our way
no one at all
I love you so much
I love you more than the stars could ever shine in the sky
I love you more than the sun could brighten the sky
I dream a little dream of you tonight
I am thinking about you
I love you so much
I dream a little dream of you tonight
i dream that we are together for all eternity
I dream that we are together
when i wake up from a beautiful dream of you
I dream a little dream of you tonight
and i wonder if you dream of me too
I dream that we make all our dreams come true
i dream a little dream of you tonight
and i wonder if you think of me while you dream
I think of you while i dream
so sweet angel, close your eyes and dream
because when i go to sleep tonight
i will dream a little dream of you tonight

Some People

Some People

by

Angela Bean

They look and they point
They laugh and they shout
who are they to point
who are they to laugh
who cares about their untold stories
they are straight
they make fun us and laugh
we don't care
no one will know
no one will understand

My Friends

My Friends

by

Angela Bean

I'm insane
that I know
it surely will show
what I have
I shall not use
It's a deadly cause
life itself
a faulty move
and your life could be gone
playing with the spirits
you should fear it
the following shall come
withcraft is ordered

This Is Life

This Is Life

by

Angela Bean

the fight of your life
the pain and the strife
the dead and the gone
defying authority
paying respect and loyalty
Harlem world
and the No Limit soldiers
Death Row dudes
and the Wu-Tang Clan
let the violence stop
the rape, and the burglary
mindless thoughts
though from a mindful brain
the voices make me go insane
midlife crisis is now
the bloody massacre goes pow
dude, don't have a cow
you shall revenge your brother's death
prove what you need to prove
die, how you shall die
hazy, it is
quite hazy here
it goes black
all dark and quiet
gangs and chains
the whips and brass knuckles
Sayzar looks up
cuz he's all shook up

don't know where the hell he is
or if his families doing well
when your locked up in the pen you don't feel so well
hanging' round all day in a jail cell
i hate this hell
living' life of not giving' a fuck
defying authority
and disobeying'
trying' to get out
having' to shout
being loud
and heard
getting' everyone to listen to a word
no one gives a fuck
cos this life will always suck
going through school
living' life in a bloody pool
having' razor marks
etched up and down yo' arm
not bringing' no one else harm
this life's unfair
so i ain't gonna complain
no more

Forsee My Death

Forsee My Death

by

Angela Bean

witness to a crime
kind man without a dime
busy dude without any time
got his chick
doing her witchcraft
woeful of woes
passing my foes
I touch the kiss of death
taking one last breath
they lower the coffin
everyone sies
everyone cries
flowers are delivereed
roses are sat there
the coffin is lowered
seeing the last of daylight
darkness, I will see
darkness forever
that's what's in store for me

In A Group

In A Group

by

Angela Bean

the mad
the insane
the no names
no brains
preps, dweebs
nerds, jocks
terds, motor dudes
engine experts
the dweebies, the freaks
the satanists, the nerds
the skateboarders
the wiggas, the brothers
they are all the same
the motorheads and others are alike
preps have no clue
they got it good
they're rich, so they should
the loners and the outsiders
they are the two best
they're the one's who know
wo know how it really is
how life really is
unfair
unfair is the word
that's life

Doesn't Think

Doesn't Think

by

Angela Bean

The occult
the observant
the quiet
the deserving
Octavious and Odysseus
mythological obsession
disgraceful aggression
sadful depression
agreeing to agree
fleeing to fight
all in spite
mindless thoughts in the head
thinking to be dead
foretell the future
sitting on the pedastool
smoking my pipe

Smell of cigars linger about
sounds of kids running about
looking, just staring out the window
crystal meth, the deadly drugs
sounds of ghosts, who died from crystal meth
oblivious to what is really going on
no one around
except ghosts walking abound
no one will visit
no one will come
the ghosts who are among
have scareed them all away

Sitting In A Field

Sitting In A Field

by

Angela Bean

Chasing Amy
around the grassy fields of gypsy
note less thoughts of a novel
pondering Diego's looks
Diocletian looks on
Brave army, dignified
shall diffuse the bombardment!
The bookish girl
head dug in her book
Bonfire of the evil Bacchus
Ferocious calls of the Bacchanals
the young, innocent, vampiric girls
Bacchus, their ruler
their lives taken over
howls in the night
like a fiery hell or fright
creating mayhem
all about
walking along
singing a song
there was Elijah Blue
and Fred Durst too
centaurs roam
amazons protect their home
I roam
to find my home
I look,
but no ones there
there stands Zeke
on that high peak

Street Life

Street Life

by

Angela Bean

Children raised up
get out of the house and smoke up
cause and effect
ain't get no respect
been classified
lived life on the streets and then died
say ya need counselin'
fuck dem' they don't know shit
ain't nothing a physchiatrist can tell ya, thatcha' don't know
what, they think ya a damn fool
cuz, when ya quit school
wanna get the hell out
lock up, in a cell bout'
no where to go
runnin' from the cops
on the go
a warrant for ya arrest

The Smell Of Life

The Smell Of Life

by

Angela Bean

Smells like cigerette smoke
the smell of your breath
the smell of near death
hooraay, death man
yeah
smoke up a joint
inhale some shit
blast up a bit
don't give a shit
blast by
when your high
cigar smell
um, rich and fine
smells divine
go down to your local 4:20
a union of brotherhood
peace out man
peace out and get high
as high as the sky
then smoke up
and die

The Person You Think You Know

The Person You Think You Know

by

Angela Bean

The person you think you know
you may not know at all

They could be sweet looking
but could change in an instant

When you get high
you know nothing else

Inhale nitrous oxide
and your ready to kill
you may look sweet and nice
but that's when the mask is off

At night
your ready to fight
and filled with fright

Kill all who stand in your way
death man
death rules you all yell
but not until someone is dead
and your in jail

Nothing

Nothing

by

Angela Bean

I hear whispers
But there is no voice

I see shadows
But no one is there

I see the grass move
But there is no wind

I hear the sound of a train
But there is no train

I hear cars passing by me
but there are no cars

I hear a dog barking
but there is no dog

i feel something warm nudge me
but nothing is there
i am cold and alone

for i feel someone is watching me
but no one is in sight

i hear police sirens
but there are no police stations in town

i hear the sounds of bigfoot
but bigfoot doesn't exist

i see a shooting star
does it exist?
I think maybe it does
So I, on that very night
Why I am cold and all alone
With no one by my side
I wish upon that star

You

You

by

Angela Bean

you are the world
you are the moon
you are my sun
my dream come true

you brighten my days
you light up my nights
you cool the summer days
you warm the summer nights

all my trouble's
all my fears
i never seem to notice
when you are near

if i were granted one wish to
come true
my one wish would be to
always have you!!!!!!!

The Times

The Times

by

Angela Bean


After all the times you hurt me.
The times you made me cry.
Why do I forgive you?
With every little sigh.
The times you betrayed me.
And the painful good-byes.
Why do I still need you?
After all those lies.
The times that you ignored me.
The times the pain has shown.
Why do I still care for you?
After you left me all alone.
With the scars you left upon me.
And the tears that fall each day.
Why am I still in love with you?
Though you've treated me this way?

I love you so

I think your so cute,
and so fine.
I'm not joking,
I'm not blind.
If we could be together,
I would just die.
Your so sweet,
and so kind.
I wish you were all mine,
If we could spend days,
together,
All my dreams would
come true!!

Untitled

The winter breeze
the blue's sea's

the bird's that fly
the cloud's sky

the roar of the thunder
while you sit and wonder

Friendship

Friendship joys the air.
When all of us are there.
We all gather round to share our friendship.
This is fun.
That is how friendship is done.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

My Poetry Tattoo

I got my Poetry Tattoo on my right wrist