Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Family

Memories, I try to keep them alive. I don't like forgetting things and so if I write something that I have already written then that is why. I like to keep my mind fresh. Grandpa Collins told Mom that is why he talks about the past because he doesn't want to forget anything. Grandpa has a pretty sharp mind for being 92 years old.
So I wrote Aunt Marcy about Grandpa Kirchner and asked her how he died and if he had any health problems and that was about a week ago and she hasn't written me back yet. She has all that information since she is married to my Uncle Hank. I don't have any of that information cos my Dad was adopted and I would like to know what health problems if any are in my family. Maybe she will write me back. I think I am going to write Cousin Sandy and see if she knows about any health problems or mental health problema that are in our family. They may have told me but I need to hear it several times to remember it. I know we have mental health problems in the family but I don't remember which ones. And I think Grandpa Kirchner had Dementia I believe someone had told me that probably Aunt Marcy or Uncle Hank. Who knows. Cousin Sandy and I talk the most. We are very similar and have a lot in common. I am lucky to have found my dad's side of the family. They treat me like family and not an outsider and they don't treat me like the blacksheep of the family. I love my Collins and Wamsley, mom's side of the family but I have always felt like an outsider with them. And I don't talk to them as much and they don't talk to me. I talk to the Kirchner's more then the Collins and Wamsley's. But that's mostly cos we can relate to each other and I am more like them then my mom's side of the family. I am more closer to my Kirchner Cousins then I am with my Collins cousins. It could be cos I am a lesbian and my mom's side of the family frowns upon that or maybe they don't like me or cos I am not like them or who knows. Oh well, I will love those who love me and give my time to those who make time for me. I am a lot like my dad and it sounds like dad is a lot like Grandpa Kirchner and all three of us look so much alike. I guess I feel like I have never really fit in with mom's side of the family. So I am glad that I have found my Kirchner cousins and family cos at least they make feel like I fit in and am part of the family. Funny thing is I haven't even met my Kirchner Cousins face to face yet and I am more closer to them then my other cousins and family on mom's side. It had kinda been bothering me and I talked to mom about it and she seemed to kinda feel the same way. Oh well that's life I guess. I love all my family but sometimes I feel like they don't feel the same or maybe they don't talk to me because I am so much like my dad and his side of the family and not like them. Oh well I am not going to worry about it. Not going to waste my time worrying about it but it was something I had been thinking for awhile.

So its starting to get a little chilly outside. It was like 70 earlier and I had and still have 3 shirts on, a beanie and a coat. I am way cold natured and cold blooded. I am always freezing. Hopefully taking my iron pills will help that. Maybe it will I don't know.

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